i broke his heart many months ago... he's forgiven me, but i've never forgiven myself bc i truly love him. so now, he closes up to me whenever we have a conversation. i try to talk to him, but he wont allow a normal conversation go beyond small talk. its so frustrating! he makes an effort to keep in contact with me, yet won't allow what we have to go any further than plain small talk. why does he even bother to keep in contact when he just wants to leave me hanging like that? i know i deserve it, but come on! he knows how bad i feel. its so strange going from being the closest couple who used to share everything eachother... to becoming this, two distant ex's who have something to say but wont allow the other to say it. why does he do this to me? i'm really getting so tired of blaming myself everyday for it. but i keep doing it cause i miss him and know i deserve a second chance.
2006-10-03 12:30:18 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You didn't say how you broke his heart. The only thing I can think of to break a man's heart is cheating. If that's the case it is going to take time and effort to make him trust you again. The reason he may stay in contact with you is because he still loves you (with his heart), but he doesn't trust you (with his head). In order for his heart and head to get back on the same page you can't even give the appearance that it will happen again.
2006-10-03 12:41:33 · answer #1 · answered by Daddy Big Dawg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No man likes finding out that the woman he thought was the one is just another cheap piece of a ss.
Or, to put it another way. There are two ways that men and women relate to eachother....either through love or through power. If all you are is just another lay, than power is what it is all about. Women want to have sex with men who keep the power all to themselves and let them have none. This is the paradigm that loser men and women use. By loser, I mean people who don't form strong bonds with eachother, marry and raise children in a loving family. Instead, she screws the most violent man she can find. He leaves when she gets pregnant and through a combination of abuse and neglect, the child is molded into the next generation of low life scum.
The other way requires being VULNERABLE to each other. The man gives up a good deal of his power to relate to a woman as a real human being. The reason he does this is because it is the only way to form strong bonds with his woman and his children. This is the only way possible to raise the next generation of high quality men and women. It is very difficult and requires sacrifice. If he does this with a loser woman, basically his life, her life and the life of his children are going to be ruined.
What you did is show him you are all about the former, when he thought his life was developing toward the latter. He probably doesn't understand this in so many words. All he knows is that he wants a life with you but knows in the back of his head that it won't work. But he desperately hopes it WILL work. So, he keeps you around, looking for signs that what happened before was a fluke...a mistake. And that you really are the type of woman (doubtful) that he can have a good life with.
Eventually, he will see so much of the negative in you that he loses all hope of making things work. He will realize you are inappropriate and leave. If he meets up with a GOOD woman, this will happen immediately, rather than later.
Don't want that to happen? Then, you must go out of your way to show him that life with you will be what he wants it to be. That you are a good woman who intends to have a good life with him. That you are loyal and can be trusted. That your children together will be happy and loved.....not wind up on the Jerry Springer show. If you can't, or simply won't do that, than the best thing for you to do is to leave and never talk to him again. Go find some drunken loser who likes to beat you. You'll be much happier.
2006-10-03 19:46:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all men find women confusing.
But I have been in the same position, but after a while we would finally go from small talk to more talk. It's just takes time. Since he is willing to still talk to you, then it must mean that he is in his heart still interested in you, but is afraid that you will break his heart again if he gives you the chance. But like they say, "time heals all wounds"
Don't keep worrying or blaming your self, just let nature take it's course.
2006-10-03 19:37:26 · answer #3 · answered by Dale 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetheart men have a hard time trusting and it may take awhile but if u truly love and care for him tell him how you feel he may not realize it, and if things don't change i think you need to think about moving on
2006-10-03 19:36:47 · answer #4 · answered by blaquensexi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel ur pain,but its part of a small lesson his trying to pass across u will not know how much u love somebody until u loose him.
2006-10-03 19:35:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him how u feel and tell him it wont happen again and that u love him and it hard to live without u
2006-10-03 19:40:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he doesn't know you deserve a second chance
2006-10-03 19:34:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him
2006-10-03 19:32:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well.. tell him how u feel! and idk y he does it to u... but just yea telll him how ya feel!
2006-10-03 19:33:10 · answer #9 · answered by bbscr12 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋