What is the funniest thing you have heard today?

Question

And or ever? Im really bored!

Answer 1

A baby seal walks into a club......................

Answer 2

There was a lady who had a parrot and took the bird everywhere she went, even to the club/nightclub. whenever she danced she would have the parrot on the dance floor and when the bird heard singing he would yell,"the roof,the roof, the roof is on fire, we don't need no water let the @#$%& burn. everyone there sang along and the nights were great. so the next day the woman took the bird to church. and when the singing started the bird sang out," the roof,the roof,the roof is on fire let the @#$$% burn. so the lady tells the bird you can't say that while in church, so the parrot looks around and says why not ,these are the same @#$%'s that was at the club last night.

Answer 3

Today I heard that the paper ring around the neck on a bottle of ketchup is there solely to prevent the consumer from seeing all the bug parts that get processed with the ketchup. That if you remove that ring you will see little legs and body parts. Do you believe it? I dont know. I guess thats more gross than funny.

Answer 4

i dont know...but in the bathroom in my office there was a note on the hand dryer that said-To hear a message from Congress push this button! I hope I helped. Additionally if u want i posted many funny jokes so if u want u can look me up.

Answer 5

if you be the 6 i will be the 9 - a pick line used i really cracked up

Answer 6

I loved the off-the-wall answer I read to one of the questions. It had nothing to do with the question. The answer was "play the flute for her."

Answer 7

I saw my son out of the yard and he comes in and I fuss at him and he looks in my eyes and tells me he didn't leave the yard after I saw him....That was funny to me

Answer 8

I love snapdragons....people who have lost their snap and their a$$ is draggin'.

Answer 9

certain things about my cats

Answer 10

I am too