my wife met a man for two months many emails etc..says they are just friends..any comments?

Question

my wife met a guy for two months shared many emails that were very flirty. I caught her emails, and when I did the meetings etc. suddenly stopped..She said they were "just Friends" and she needed the attention...Any thoughts? I think she has even written some poem like thoughts about him as well..she denies and gets very mad at me...help!

I think what is most disturbing to me is that she thinks "just friends" is all she has to say! Like I am an idiot...She told him she needed to chat and ending the email with :)~...she told me that didn't mean anything..one email said she needed to chat but would like to see him longer as well! she said she was just flirting. from dangerous tango dresses to his comments about her distracting smile.. there were many many emails and calls... in those two months..yet when I caught her, she said they were just friends and she hadn't talked to him since..like that was normal...I think being friends doesn't stop on a dime..affairs do! I brought up telling his wife etc..which i wouldn't and she went ballistic...how do i get her to just tell me the truth!!!

Answer 1

she's getting ready for a leap my friend

Answer 2

Oooooo! You are SO being played. Friends my @$$. It may not be sexual yet, but it's headed that way at warp 9.
If you ask/tell her to 'break it off,' she won't. It's like a drug, she'll sneak around to get her emotional/sexual fix.
I would start focusing my attention on the guy. Go pay him a little visit. No need to get nasty... yet. Inform him that his flirty emails are with a married woman and he's damaging your relationship. Discuss things like an adult. And I wouldn't give a sh!t whether he informs the wife or not. He's either going to do two things, keep going or stop. If he stops great. If he continues, not great. I'd pay him another visit and this time, I wouldn't be so 'nice'. Personally, I have three hand guns. A Ruger 9mm, a Colt .45 ACP & a S&W .44 Magnum. I'd let this @sshole know that I meant business. From then, let the chips fall where they may. I'd pop his coochie in short order.

Answer 3

Little known bit of info. Guys go through a mid-life crisis and so do women. Guys going through it entertain many ideas, but it does not mean they act on it. women are the same way. After being with someone for so long the idea just pops from no where that no one else would want them and BAM! So in come the crazy ideas to see if just maybe someone else would. It does not mean they cheat, but yes they will get angery, hurt, or defensive if it is brought up. Bottom line is if this is the case here or not, you will have to decide for yourself. Then move on. Also try to be more attentive. In a woman thats what usually starts it. Yall dont mean to, but as time passes little things are forgotten and she starts to feel negleted. Try picking up a flower or just a little card every now and then for no reason. She will appreciate it and start doing the little things for you again she has forgotten too.

Answer 4

She was being inappropriate to flirt outside of marriage, she got mad at you because she feels embarrased for getting caught. But you are right to take any emotional involvment with another man very seriously.

While there is no excuse for her behavior, I do wonder about her feeling like she needs more attention. Do you just talk with your wife every day? Do you go on dates with her once a week?

You need to ask her for a night out, and at the end of the night, take her in your arms, tell her how much you love her, and tell her how much you want to be the man in her life, and you can't bare the thought of even being emotionally replaced, and then just keep holding her for a while.

bring her back to you now, while you still can! good luck!

Answer 5

There was definitely something going on. First and foremost, she hinted that herself when saying she needed attention. She was basically letting you know that you didn't pay her enough attention so she decided rather then talk to you about it, to look for attention from someone else.
If they were just friends why would their emails be even considerably flirty and why would she meet him without you? AND, then when you became suspicious everything stops? That is suspicious alone, because if he were really just her friend, she would still be hanging out with him and even invite you along.
If she is getting mad, then she is guilty. If he were just her friend, she'd calmly sit down and talk to you about it. She put herself on the chopping block. I say she's no good... it seems like she needs too much attention and is willing to get it from other people rather then her husband.
Only you can decide what is best for you but be careful. I highly suggest marriage counseling.

Answer 6

If they are just friends, why did she stop? Because she got caught. She has been very disrespectful and she owes you an apology. It hard to trust and when you do and someone destroys that, its hard to get it back. The two of you need to have a discussion, you need to ask her if she is still committed to the marriage or if the two of you should bow out gracefully. The heart is nothing to play with, and the same advice that i give to women on how they should be treated with love and respect, the same applies to you. Good luck.

Answer 7

Find an opportunity to talk with your wife. It seems like she is not feeling loved or appreciated and is looking elsewhere for that appreciation - which I'm not saying is right for her to do. It's not. She needs to communicate, but you as the husband, can ask loving questions to help her communicate more easily.

Take her out to dinner, buy her a gift, do something special for her. Let her know that you're "feeling" that maybe there is something she would like that you aren't doing and you want to know what that is. Ask in a very sweet way, and start to show her attention in little ways. If she responds to one thing, remember that. If she is annoyed by something else, then don't do those things. Gifts are always nice - even if they're small; however putting your money where your mouth is does make a point.

Taking her out to movies, dinner, offering to pay for something she does normally (i.e. clean the house, etc.) Or maybe you need to pitch in once in a while. But you need to find out what makes her feel loved. It's different for different people. See the book I mention below. It's helped a lot of people.

Answer 8

My guess is that she is telling you the truth. Yeah, they may be just friends and yeah, she needed the attention. What she isnt telling you is that she may actually feel guilty because even though it was nothing physical, she was getting from another man what she should have been getting from you. Emotionally, she went outside the marriage. So she has no reason to get angry at you. It should be the other way around.

Answer 9

I use to be your wife. My husband wasn't giving me enough attention and Mr. Wonderful was there and ready to give me everything that I need. It started as just friends (emails and lunches), then became much more.

You need to be everything to your wife that she's lacking, because she's already in search of it. Why have her look for it when she has it already at home. If you don't want to lose her, step up.

Answer 10

It is amazing that women all act so similar- my soon to be ex did the same thing and acted the same as you described. Honestly I never found out if she was doing the deed, but i think so. I called the guy and confronted him with it, then it stopped. But it never ends there my friend, she needs to shape up or you need to ship her OUT.. Good Luck!!

Answer 11

the internet has caused alot of divorces. friends is probably the only thing that they were but if she had the chance she would be with this person at least for a get together. this is true or she would not have talked with him in the first place. you will never be able to trust her again. im sorry to have to tell you that but you know its true