Safe sex issues?

Question

Is it OK to ask for test results for HIV and Hepatitis A,B&C from a guy before we kiss or have sex? Wouldn't it sound a bit paranoid? How likely is an infection using a condom? Should one use a condom for oral sex as well? I know it is the safest to be with one partner for a long time but what if he cheats on me meanwhile?
I would like to have a partner but I'm terrified by STDs at the same time. I would like to break my abstinence but only take an absolutely minimal risk. Serious answers and no homophobes please!

Answer 1

I would encourage you to stay abstinence until you meet that right person. Don't have sex for the sake of having sex. In regards to you wanting some proof; hey man; its your body and your responsibility to be a good steward of your temple. In as much; even after being partnered, it is always best to have safe-sex. One last thing; 1/4 of newly infected people; last year, who become HIV+, received it from someone that didn't know that they were the carrier.

Answer 2

Asking doesn't mean you'd get an honest answer; and since ti takes time for diseases to show up in testing, there's always the possibility someone was infected AFTER their last test.

Always assume your partner has HIV and act accordingly. This means always using a condom for anal sex. For oral sex, if you are receiving and your mouth is free of sores, it's probably safe - in any case, it's best not to swallow. If you are giving, then it's very likely safe for you.

However, other STDs can be transmitted through oral sex, including gonorrhea and herpes, so consider a flavored condom for this.

You should not give up your sex life through this phobia. Everything - even crossing the road - comes with some risk. Decide on the risks you are willing to take, and go from there.

You should also go to a clinic and have yourself vaccinated against Hepatitis - this is a simple series of injections and can give you peace of mind at least about that problem.

Oh - and there is no SAFE sex, but you can have SAFER sex.

Answer 3

Kissing is fairly low risk, although you could possibly get hepatitis, mononucleosis, a cold or a cold sore, measle, mumps, or tuberculosis. What you won't get from kissing is HIV or gonorrhea. As I understand it you could get syphilis from a kiss if the syphilis is in the chancre stage.

Using a condom for anal sex greatly reduces the likely risk for all STDs except crabs.
The penetrated person is slightly more at risk than the penetrator. Using plenty of lube helps reduce the possibility of micro-fissures, and does reduce risk. Do not use lube containing nonoxynol or whatever the heck it's called, as it irritates tissue and creates an infection route.
In Europe we take a more sanguine view of oral sex than in the US. Transmission rates of HIV via oral sex are lower than anal. If you are really worried about HIV make him wear a condom. Also make sure that you have no bleeding gums or other open wounds in your mouth. Syphilis and gonorrhea can be transmitted by mouth to penis contact.
Being terrified is not really a realistic option. Of course the safest thing to do is to be completely abstinent on the other hand you have to live. The highway is dangerous too but you still drive your car don't you? What you can do is to take realistic precautions and make sure that your own health and immune system is in top condition.

Answer 4

No, i don't think that is a rude or insensitive question to ask of someone you are considering being intimate with. If the person becomes offended, well the two of you could go together and get the test that would be a good way to ask. Just a suggestion. Then you will be sure that both of you are clear. And in this day and age, it is a necessary question whether you are gay, straight or bi--sexual, any responsible sexually active person needs to protect themselves. And yes condoms are a very wise thing to use for protection during any sexual act. STD's do not discriminate. They are an equal opportunity reality. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 5

Yes it is OK to ask. and yeah some guys will be put off by it. What matters most is that YOU protect YOU!
Definitely get those test results BEFORE you have sex... including oral. Condoms break.

Answer 6

sure you can ask but you'll probably never see him again, just ask him, by law if someone is positive they have to tell you, otherwise they can go to prison. Just make sure you have safe sex with everyone (condom), and you can kiss without catching HIV, there are no cases of anyone being infected with HIV from a kiss.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

It's a fine question to ask. It sounds smart, not paranoid.

Condoms are about 95 percent effective if used properly.

Yes, one should use a condom for oral, and that is why flavored condoms have been invented. (I always liked banana when I had a boyfriend.)

GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 9

Yes it is totally ok. In fact, I think they should support it and get checked themselves. What if that person has AIDS and you don't want to get them mad and ypu have sex with them and it puts you at risk. You should ALWAYS be open and honest with your partner. Condoms are always a good thing. If that doesn't suit you, wait until you get married.

Answer 10

it's a very wise decision to take. i myself would get myself tested and a future partner before having sex. if he or she don't like it, we ain't going together. i believe you should take a wise path. i believe many of us will too.