Tell me some funny jokes!! I want to laugh out loud!!!Can be about anything!!
2006-10-03 11:05:33 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Games & Recreation ➔ Other - Games & Recreation
When NASA was preparing for the Apollo Project, it took the astronauts to a Navajo reservation in Arizona for training.
One day, a Navajo elder and his son came across the space crew walking among the rocks. The elder, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question.His son translated for the NASA people: "What are these guys in the big suits doing?" One of the astronauts said that they were practicing for a trip to the moon. When his son relayed this comment the Navajo elder got all excited and asked if it would be possible to give to the astronauts a message to deliver to the moon.
Recognizing a promotional opportunity when he saw one, a NASA official accompanying the astronauts said,"Why certainly!" and told an underling to get a tape recorder. The Navajo elder's comments into the microphone were brief. The NASA official asked the son if he would translate what his father had said. The son listened to the recording and laughed uproariously, but he refused to translate. So the NASA people took the tape to a nearby Navajo village and played it for other members of the tribe. They too laughed long and loudly, but also refused to translate the elder's message to the moon.
An official government translator was summoned. After he finally stopped laughing, the translator relayed the message:
"WATCH OUT FOR THESE ASSHOLES. THEY HAVE COME TO STEAL YOUR LAND."
and...........
Homer, a man on the make, walked into a sports bar around 10pm. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10: 00 news was now on.
The news crew was covering a story of a man preparing to jump off a ledge of a tall building. The blonde looked at Homer and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Homer said, "You know, I bet he'll jump."
The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."
Homer placed 20 dollars on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death.
The blonde was very upset and handed her 20 dollars to Homer, saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money."
Homer hesitated, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."
The blonde replied, "I did too, but I didn't think he'd do it again." .
Homer took the money.
2006-10-03 11:16:22 · answer #1 · answered by mawilda20 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
a couple go to a bull auction in the country one weekend. the auctioneer begins his spiel for the first bull. he says, 'a fine specimen, this bull reproduced 60 times last year.'
the wife nudges her husband and says, 'wow-more than five times a month!'
the auctioneer then calls out, 'another fine specimen, this bull reproduced 120 times last year.'
again the wife nudges her husband. 'hey, that 10 times a month. what do you say about that?!'
her husband is getting really annoyed with this comparison
the third bull is up for sale: 'and this extraordinary specimen reproduced 365 times last year!'
the wife slaps her husband on the arm and yells, 'that’s once a day! how about YOU?!'
the husband was pretty irritated by now, and yells back, 'big deal, once a day!
I bet he didn’t have to do with the same cow!'
2006-10-03 11:10:16 · answer #2 · answered by Azul 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there was a blonde on a plane she was asleep this guy woke herup and said "do you want to play a game?" the blonde said "no" afew minutes later he asked again and again but this time he said "i will ask you a question if you cant answer it you give me $5 and then you ask me a questionand if i can't answer i give you $5" she still said "no"the guy said lets make it a little more interesting "i will ask you a question if you cant answer it you give me $5 and then you ask me a question and if i can't answer i give you $500" the blonde said ok so the guy tells her "you go first" the blonde said ok "what has 3 legs and can fly?"so he he took out his laptop and e-mailed his friend asking him that but noone knows so the guy said "I don't know" and tookout $500 then he asks " wat was it" the blonde goes to her purse and takes out $5 and says "I have no idea"
2006-10-03 11:16:09 · answer #3 · answered by madison c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An atheist was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees"!
"What powerful rivers"!
"What beautiful animals"! He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"
Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident." "Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer"?
The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps You could make the BEAR a Christian"? "Very Well," said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:
"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."
2006-10-03 11:15:58 · answer #4 · answered by oldman 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
www.jokes.com, free site.
2006-10-03 11:13:56 · answer #5 · answered by redhotboxsoxfan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋