I told my kid her headlights were on?

Question

We were eating at Taco Bell and I let my kid know her headlights were on. I wasn't trying to be a jerk, I really feel she should wear more clothes.Anyway that ruined the meal pretty much and at home she cried to her mom about it, at lesat I think it was probably about this.

Basically how can I patch this up without backing down on my opinion, or using my wife as a go-between like some wuss dad (I mean I can talk to my own daughter thanks very much). I just need to figure the right thing to say to her.

I asked this question yesterday but nobody was on my side. So let me clarify that I was very nice when I said it, something like "hey sweetie, your headlights are on, you can tell."

Answer 1

It is a very touchy subject for a father to talk to their daughter about issues relating to her breasts. You should just explain to her that you were not trying to be insensitive or embarrass her in any way. Being a girl and growing breasts can be a very difficult time. Explain that as her dad you love her and you just wanted to make her aware of it. Good luck and God bless

Answer 2

Timing is everything. You told her at a time that she could do nothing about it. It probably embarassed her that her FATHER even mentioned it, but it could also have embarassed her that she now knew that other people might see it and she had no sweater to cover up with. You should have waited until you got home. Now that it is too late for that, tell her you would like to talk with her alone. Apologize to her for making her feel uncomfortable in Taco Bell, you were just thinking about it and afraid you would forget to tell her. Let her know that you think it is time for her to start wearing a bra or wearing a cover-up if she is going to be somewhere that the A/C might be high. Ask what she thinks about that. Let her know that you know she might prefer not talking to dad about this, but you are her father and think that you two should be able to discuss important things together. Maybe you could remind her before you leave the house next time.
Also, I wonder if you have said this before to her because a lot of girls in this generation would not know what you are talking about -- they call it being nipped out or something like that. Watch what you say and how you say it to young ladies. They get their feelings hurt easily.

Answer 3

I wouldn't have said something like that at a Taco Bell, that likely just made her embarrassed or self-conscious. I think it would've been better to mention it elsewhere, and not just out of the blue like that. And I don't think I'd have phrased it that way either. I would have just said that what she's wearing is too revealing and she needs to cover up more. But still not in public.
As for what you can do to fix it, I don't know. Apologize and explain your opinion more nicely and using some different words. And don't do it in public either.

Answer 4

Next time make sure you bring her coat or a sweater and then that way you can suggest that she wear it if there is a problem.
Just let her know that you love and care and want the best for her and that you are trying to protect her before some boys make even ruder comments about it. Yeah it was rude but you are a concerned parent and don't want your child to be expose to the harsh environment of people words.

Answer 5

I am the mother of a son but here is my advice.
Most teenager girls enjoy the response they get from the boys by not wearing enough clothes. What they don't realize is that by dressing in a teasing fashion they demean their own worth. A teenage male is over run by hormones and thoughts of sex while a female teenager just wants to be loved and accepted so she will dress to get that attention, unfortunately that can be dangerous for her.
As her father you aren't supposed to notice that she even has breasts let alone that hers are "on high beam". You need to explain (from a male perspective) that what she is wearing does have a huge effect on the average teen male.

I know the politically correct thing to say is that just because you dress like Britney Spears doesn't mean you are a whore BUT if you insist upon flaunting your body that is all people will see-a body that WANTS to be used. We teach our girls that "no means no" but don't teach them how to defend themselves and be how to be safe.

Explain that you love her and want her happy AND safe --however when she is in public, appropriate undergarments are required. taco bell isn't the beach and that she is beautiful but as her body develops she needs to be aware of the rules on what qualifies as acceptable dress. You did not intend to embaress her by noticing but you are just a guy who is a father but still has a sex drive. if her father noticed then i am sure others did too.
just my opinion

Answer 6

until now each and every thing i presumed you have been her mom, yet what the H*!! have been you thinking telling your daughter that? God in easy terms is unquestionably-known with what replace into dealing with her innovations after that! i might first ask for forgiveness for making this style of crude remark. you could desire to describe to her why you suggested it. Definately use some finesse once you talk to her approximately it. quite you could desire to desire your spouse with you if she feels an identical way so which you post a united front on the way your daughter is dressing. youngsters do no longer contain manuals on a thank you to advance them and all of us make blunders. inspite of the incontrovertible fact that, a mistake isn't a mistake except you study from it and marvelous what you probably did incorrect!

Answer 7

The problem was the timing....

When you have a chance in a "safe" environment, ask her if she wants to display herself this way...does she mind when that is noticed (by her peers, not her dad).

If yes, then ask why and deal with that thread...

If no, then discuss what would still be "cool" to wear that will prevent it.

It should mainly be about communication, which you seem to understand...but sometimes it takes awhile for your kids to acknowledge that you are willing to talk to them as people, but your still the parent and they should rely on your experiences/opinions.

Answer 8

No one was on your side because what you said to her was totally inappropriate!! Some women/girls no matter WHAT they wear have that problem! Besides wearing band-aids over your nipples, there isn't much you can do about it. You embarrassed her really bad, letting her know you noticed!! Even wearing a padded bra won't stop the problem. You should have kept your mouth shut and talked with your wife about it!! You need to apologize to your daughter and keep your opinions on the subject to yourself!!!

Answer 9

First of all how old is she...I am assuming by the comment that she is well built...but all in the same....this isn't the appropriate way to say that, but if you must talk to your child that way, then maybe that is why she dresses that way. And maybe if you didn't waste your time asking complete strangers on how to talk to your daughter you might find that maybe she wants to talk to you....she is probably rebelling against something (only assuming that she is a teenager)...

Answer 10

girls feel very self conscious about their bodies. (many women do, too.) plus, what was she supposed to do about it there at Taco Bell?
i would apologize for making her feel self-conscious and tell her you think she's beautiful. you're glad you're her dad, you're proud of her, etc.
then, later, talk to her about how you think she needs to cover up more so that boys don't get the wrong idea. that she is a wonderful young woman, and she needs to dress in a way that is fashionable, but not too revealing. that you were a young man once and you know what they're like, and you're just trying to protect her.