My wife and I have been married for 7 years and I should have noticed from the start how she felt about sex, she could care less about it, it's boring when we do do it and now I am thinking if I want to live the rest of my life in a sexually unfullfulling marriage, I feel unattractive because of her lack of intamacy and I feel everyone should feel that they are desirable even guys, I miss being wanted. Am I right or am I wrong. And guys you should really think before you get married because most women don't want sex after the first year or so and it becomes a hassle to them especially when the kids come. Simple words of advice
2006-10-03 10:16:48 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Relationships all go this way through time. The more you pressure your wife for sex the less likely you are to get it.
Maybe you could treat your wife to a romantic weekend to put the intimacy back into your marriage, maybe she is the one who is feeling unattractive after having kids.
Take 1 night a week to spend some quality time together, don't expect wild sex straight away but pampering her every once and a while should help the situation. (make sure you tell her though that she isn't under any pressure to have sex right away, us women can read between the lines :) ), give her a back massage, cook her dinner, give her a nice glass of wine and sit down in front of a good movie.
She just be exhausted and not feeling very attractive after a day of working, cleaning the house and looking after the kids...give her time, it's not all about you :)
2006-10-03 10:29:38 · answer #1 · answered by debs1701 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Feeling your pain. I too thought that I may have been the unattractive one, so I did something about it. I lost 35 pounds down to 175 6 foot tall. Got a different haircut and went to contacts that are a slight shade of blue. Started to pick up around the house and stayed more focused on little things that needed details. Have rearranged the basement and garage and have tried so hard to be EVERYTHING! Still the sex drive for her is NOT there. I was so hoping.
Try doing what I did, if it does not work for you with the less weight and better health you will outlive her and be able to find someone who cares.
2006-10-03 10:23:29 · answer #2 · answered by ferretcoach 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is this my husband?? Just kidding. I myself feel unattractive, and that makes me want to have sex less. Before marriage we were crazy, now, not so much. What could he do to make me want to have more sex? I believe a lot of the thrill comes from anticipation. Planning and looking forward to special time. And then the occasional spontaneous tryst as well. Only approach her when she is cleaned up, not after mopping floors, a woman needs to feel desirable as well. If you make her feel desirable, she will reciprocate. My husband almost never married me for fear of this, and unfortch it has come to pass. Good luck.
PS-my simple words of advice-make her feel desirable. Have the occasional hot and heavy make out with no sex.
2006-10-03 10:32:31 · answer #3 · answered by miss_fred 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been in a simiar situation. The expressed my feeling on the matter just to let her know. Then through several questions here I found that I needed to improve my approach. I had to realize that she isn't just going to do it because I want to. So I started emailing her some relationship building emails everyday. Some had questions directly addressing my concerns and it opened up a channel for her concerns. I try very hard to make her feel loved, not that I didn't love her she just needed to feel it. Evaluate things you can improve on during the day like helping her out with dishes and such. Also try to rekindle the flame. It worked for me it can work for you.
2006-10-03 10:24:41 · answer #4 · answered by Paka 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They do it all the time brother! I was married for 13 years and her sex drive took a huge dive after we had kids. We are divorced now and I have a sexy 22 year old girl that lives in my house. I get sex on a daily basis, usually initiated by her, and I have never been more sexually satisfied!
Start sending her sexy text messages and teasing her with emails and flirts for like a week, walk by her and fondle her ***, caress her breasts lightly (never imply that you want sex) keep this up and she will melt in your hands (unless she is just too far gone). Help her out around the house, even if you are tired. you have to sneak up on her, give it a week. Then when she gives you the signal, lay her on the bed and make her *** by eating her. Keep this up and you will get the poon when you want it. You have to make her feel sexy, not just like a piece of meat, use your skills man!
2006-10-03 10:38:18 · answer #5 · answered by dumb guy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its pretty much a fact that the initial lust wears out, than a different kind of love forms, a stronger bond that gets better and better. However the sexual lust usually fizzles out. Words of advice: go out for an exciting night dancing and drinking. Get her horny the whole night, build it up. Then **** the shitt out of her. Eat her pusssy real good, make sure she enjoys the hell out of it.
Then act lie nothing happened the next day and just be real relaxed with her. Don't beg for sex nothing. Then repeat about a week later. Make sure you please her though. Eating coochie correctly is usually a sure fire way.
If not, **** that bitchh, go out and get a prostitute on a weekly basis.
2006-10-03 10:25:50 · answer #6 · answered by maneone22 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
try to turn her on in someway like nuzzling her neck or making her a very fancy dinner.
2006-10-03 10:41:50 · answer #7 · answered by Dawn Jeniy M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit your bitching and tell your woman that you are taking what is yours. She needs to get with the program, even if its just to satisfy you. Or maybe you really are a pig and she can't stand to be with you.
2006-10-03 10:24:03 · answer #8 · answered by rockin752005 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
why wont u talk to her how u feel?
2006-10-03 10:20:35 · answer #9 · answered by Ashlee_Hbiba 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋