Ladies Only Again! My wife won't go down on me.....?

Question

She said she had a bad experience with someone forcing her to do him. We agreed that I wouldn't ask for it but I would like to see what its like at least once what should I do?

Answer 1

You need to determine if your "need to know" is greater than your respect and love for your wife. Something tramatic is hard to overcome no matter how you want to please your partner. An option would be to go to "sex therapy". But she would have to be willing to face her demons and it may not be worth it to her so you can "find out what it's like". Your other option would be to "hire" someone to do it... but then you are cheating... so the question is.. HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE AND RESPECT YOUR WIFE???? AND IS IT WORTH HURTING OR LOOSING HER TO SATISFY A CURIOSITY?????????

PS Never discuss it during sex.. EVER
And you guys are all assholes who think it's ok to just "trick" her into doing it... obviously you do not understand the concept of TRAUMA!!!!!!

Answer 2

Well that just sucks. Um you need to talk about it if it bothers you then that is the only respectful thing to do. You need to find out the truth because women make up horror stories just so they wont have to do it. She mabe afraid, or thinks its gross, or she really did have a bad experience whatever the situation maybe you should let her know that you dont want ot hurt her but it is something that you want and what do you (as a guy) need to do to make her comfortable. She maybe upset at first but just let her know that the only thing you want to do is keep the relatiobship as great as it has been and this is something that you want then promise to do something for her that she wants sexually that you may not have been willing to so and if there is nothing you wont do (one: you are awesome if there isnt anything you wont do) then go somewhere with her that you originally would not go Remeber give a little take a little thats life Good luck

Answer 3

Here's the deal (and this from a chick that had a similar experience as your wife):

I had a BF in college try to force me to go down on him. It totally turned me off to BJ's for a long time. My husband never pushed the issue with me. After being together for a while I really wanted to be comfortable with him and give him that. He never pushed, asked or pressured but I knew he wanted it done. So I had him lay down and promise to keep his hands behind his head (so I wouldn't be scared that he would grab me.)

He had showered and shaved up a little, so I spent some time exploring... five years later: I LOVE IT AND HE PRAISES MY ABILITIES!!!!

Talk with her about it. Make sure you understand what she didn't like about it. If she is uncomfortable with the idea of you blowing your load... then don't do that. If she's afraid it's dirty or gross... shower first and clean up a bit. Do whatever you can to make her feel comfortable.

But if she doesn't want to even after all of that... I don't know what to tell you. For me it really boiled down to me wanting to give that to my husband. I knew he'd had GF that had done it in the past and I didn't want him to feel like he was missing out on something by being with me.

You wife needs to understand that an experience that was bad with someone else doesn't have to be the same with you. The two of you should be able to share that experience in a safe and meaningful way.

Good luck & have a lot of FUN!!!!

P.S. do you go down on her? Cause if you do and she won't even try.... that's a HUGE double standard... if you don't LEARN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 4

Thats what hookers are for. No seriously... if you agreed you wouldn't ask, and married her anyway, I say deal with it.
No wonder she was forced, she doesn't like to perform very well does she? And isn't it always the same, these are the women that can find a man like you to accept her even though your gonna miss out on a lifetime worth of BJ's that you could have been getting from someone like me. Damn!!

Answer 5

There could be alot of reason why she won't go down on you. 1- your wenies smells bad 2- you try to deep throat her 3- you are impusive about it. Try this- before sex take a really food shower. Throw on your best cologene. Buy some scented oil and massage her entire body withit. You need to massage between her legs (n ot not the vagina but- the thighs. It wil seems as if you're trying to tease ehr but not really. Then- give her some great oral and ask her if she can rub some onl on yuor wiennee. Tehn- ask her if she can lick your head- son and so forth, There you are!! she did it!

Answer 6

In a loving relationship, if you are gentle with her in every way, she may eventually decide to do this for you... but the more you push about it... the more she will feel threatened by the act.

This is a painful memory for her and one that is similar in some ways to rape. She was forced and violated and for her... it is not a loving act that you perform on a partner to pleasure them. It was forced on her in a way where she had no control. She was violated. Her memories of that could easily come flooding back in a flashback if she tried to do this for you.

It could be that she will always find it frightening or at least distasteful. You might consider asking her if she would consider, at some point, just kissing your male organ. Then, as she gets comfortable... perhaps she might take on a bit more. Ask her where she would like your hands during this time. She might prefer to have you gently stroking her face or her hair... or if this other man used his hands on her head to force her onto him, she might be more comfortable with your hands behind your own head... completely away from her.

It would be best to perhaps talk to her about the incident... and encourage her to speak with a counselor about her experience and how it is making it difficult for her to participate in this activity now. Never push for more than she is comfortable with... and allow her to guide and initiate all activity in this area.

Above all, if she does agree to try this with you, you must try very hard not to lose control of your own movements while your member is in her mouth. If you push into her mouth, she will likely gag and feel choked and it will feel violent to her. She will be very hesitant, perhaps for a very long time, and you must be patient with her because she was injured and hurt by another man so, as unfair as it feels, she has a lot of healing to do.

When men turn sex into an act of violence of violation of a woman, it scars them emotionally, sometimes for life. Please accept her difficulty with this situation and be patient and loving with her as she tries to move on in a more positive direction with you.

Answer 7

Don't bring it up if it is a touchy subject. By talking about it or nagging her she will see it as only a negative thing and it will never happen. Let her take her time, if you two start to have a good relationship in other areas then this action will follow. She just needs to know that you aren't going to do what that other person did!

Answer 8

Your wife was a victim of rape. She needs counseling to work through this trauma. You should be sympathetic with her. Not trying to devise ways to force her to relive the episode. After she comes to terms with this event in her life, she will be more capable of a full sexual relationship
P.S., Do you go down on her?

Answer 9

Tell her you want to see what it's like at least once, but only when and if she's comfortable with it. But then again, if she was forced to do it before and you ask, then it would be kind of disrespectful of you.

Answer 10

tell her how you feel. I think it is great that your not nagging her about it. But you need to let her know that it is something you want to try. If you don't you will most likely end up going somewhere else. Even though you don't sound like someone that would do that. Maybe you could go to therapy together maybe there is something she wants to talk to you about.