I met a girl, as a friend and we are getting along very well. But I am starting to have this intense feeling about her. I seriously want to be with her and possibly tell her my feelings(eventually). It is difficult to find where it all comes from, because she hasnt taken any deliberate action at all. But it engulfs me and I cant stop thinking about her. But I cant tell if she would ever have those feelings about me, or if she would ever feel that way about girls in general. How would you deal with this feeling? How do you avoid the awkwardness and embarassment if they arent gay?
2006-10-03 09:35:38 · 12 answers · asked by katechaos34 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I hear you. I was in a very similar situation once. It turns out I was gay. If you feel safe with her, talk to her about your feelings. If she does not feel the same way, it may make the relationship odd or destroy it however if you like her and she is straight, being around her is a bad things anyways. Then again, even if she doesn't feel the same way, she may feel flattered and not mind at all. Either way, communication is the best policy. Just don't try to make a move on her or anything because if she isn't gay, that would make her feel weird.
2006-10-03 09:45:38 · answer #1 · answered by Mike Hunt 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Honesty is the best policy. Just know she may not feel the same way and may not remain in your life if she can't handle the truth. If she is a good friend, she will tell you how she feels and continue to be your friend. The bottom line is that this is something everyone deals with many times in life. The only way to get your answer and stop torturing yourself is to have a talk. Whatever happens, accept her answer and don't press it.
2006-10-03 17:02:38 · answer #2 · answered by donrull 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can casually bring up the topic of lesbianism in a basic conversation,see how she feels,responds,and/or thinks about it.
Ask her jokingly has she honestly eeeever thought about it... (do this in a joking matter) Let the conversation flow. Trust me by the end you'll know. This method will save you the embarassment.
The awkwardness is only natural even if she is... you'll still feel a little awkward, because then it's time to express your feelings... and we all know how awkward that feels sometimes!
2006-10-03 16:50:28 · answer #3 · answered by kashya 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should find out first if she's into the same sex. If so - go for it, if no - run away from her as far as you can.
I had a similar experience once when I fell in love with a straight girl. But I didn't know she was straight and confessed my feelings... well, omitting sad consequences and ocean of tears I could say I wouldn't wish it to anyone!
2006-10-03 17:29:11 · answer #4 · answered by svirelka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way you are ever going to find out is if you talk to her (casually) about her views on gays and if she would ever consider it. If she's against it, take it as it is. "Friends" is always better than nothing. If she's with it, then tell her how you feel.
2006-10-03 16:48:19 · answer #5 · answered by Lila B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My girlfriend asked me this question. "Have you ever thought about being with a woman?" She asked it in a way to where it left the door open to conversation, it gave her an idea where I stood on the issue, and she would have gotten an idea on whether to move forward or shut the door fast! This way you are neither denying or confirming that you are a lesbian.
2006-10-03 16:49:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Address it indirectly. "Terri and Tina, some people I knew, were just good friends and now it appears that they are lovers. Who would have known it? What about you, do you think you could ever go for a girl you were friends with?" (I'm trying to be brief so you might stretch it out a little so its not quite so obvious, maybe)
2006-10-03 16:39:53 · answer #7 · answered by Rabbit 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
u need to talk to her about what she thinks about a girl being with a girl. if she isnt against it then tell her the feelings ur having make sure she knows ur not pushing the subject. there is no need to feel embarassed about it.
2006-10-03 16:43:33 · answer #8 · answered by amber t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First find out if she is gay or bi -- if not then drop it and suffer in silence - it will go away some time.
If she is then tell her youw ould like a date.
Very easy if you just communicate!
2006-10-03 16:39:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi ! I am going through the same problem right now. I am about to BUST ! I am so in Love & Consumed by someone I work with. I have tried to fight the feelings & instead they grow. I have been attracted to her for over a year now. I am not sure how to answer your question ....as I am in the same boat. I would ask her if she would ever consider a same sex relationship .....or better yet ....discuss someone you may know who is gay. See how she reacts. My interest doesnt seem to be bothered by Same Sex Relationships BUT will not give me a clue as to whether she would consent to one. I'm thinking more & more everyday ...."If you Love something .....Set it Free......If it comes back to you .......It's meant to be ! " Good Luck & Review my questions. It may help !
2006-10-03 16:55:44 · answer #10 · answered by whatamithinkin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋