Others say join this. But how do I join a group like that. I'm an introvert, I do like to be around people but just a small group of people. I'm also shy. I talk, but its not like I talk that much. I am able to carry on a conversation, when I want. I have this fear or coming out of other people knowing that I'm gay. Funny thing is that I know that most people wouldn't give a damn, if I was or wasn't. Then there's the whole family thing of telling them.
Another issue that I have is low self-esteem and body image, I'm not the best looking and I'm not the worst. I think I'm average. But with everything I see on tv, I think how am I suppose to compete with people like that. Then there's sterotypes about being gay. And being black doesn't help either. My college's library has book on being gay. But I don't have the guts to actually check them out and bring them to my dorm.
Maybe I should just go and see the school's counselor, and talk to them. I don't know. What should I do?
2006-10-03 09:22:49 · 9 answers · asked by Raziel 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Go to a few meetings if you want. If you like it, then join it. No one is saying that you have to president of the group or an outspoken promoter of it that mandatorily attends every function. If you don't like the vibe of the group, then don't join it.
Maybe there are other groups you would feel more comfortable being a part of? How about some off campus groups? Their are charities, film festivals, pride committees, gay lesbian centers, non profit organizations... Do what works for you.
Personally I think it is up to you to decide who you want to tell and who not too. It is your personal business. As for me - I tell my close family and friends - but not my extended family or acquaintances. I would try and inform your self on gay issues. Go to gay bookstores or gay sections of book stores. Read the advocate and gay.com. Read coming out stories. Visit web sites of gay rights organizations.
Good luck to you.
2006-10-03 10:26:14 · answer #1 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi! It does sound like your self-esteem is an issue, and if that is the case, the counselor can surely help you.
As for the Gay/Alliance, if you are uncomfortable with doing it right now, then wait. Maybe meet with the counselor a few times first and start to get more comfortable with yourself, then you will be able to enjoy being part of a group like that.
You will be just fine, and you don't have to compete with anyone. People on TV aren't real, and you don't need to try to live up to anyone's expectations. Just be yourself. You sound like a great person to me. ;-)
2006-10-03 09:26:55 · answer #2 · answered by ItsJustMe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is just show up at a meeting. The most likely outcome is that someone will talk to you - or everyone will. The least likely is that they will ignore you or make snap judgements about you because of the way you look.
The whole point of Straight/Gay Alliance is acceptance, and the people involved already will know how nervous you will be at your first meeting, and will take care to ensure you are comfortable.
All you have to do is show up!
2006-10-03 12:19:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I spent two years working in an LGBT forum at Uni (same thing as gay alliance) they usually provide safe space and support - they are exactly the group to talk to - Unfortunately the world will always have a few homophobic bigots like XXON10 - and certainly at my uni in Hull they are instantly reported for breach of the equal opportunities policy and usually banned from the student union - and I see no point in taking a different attitude here.
2006-10-03 11:44:43 · answer #4 · answered by Richelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey the group is meant for people just like you. It is an organization of people who support gays/lesbian. Being part of the group does not make you gay or lesbian, just a supporter.
This group most likely is smaller than you think, or at least the active ones. Most organizations like this may have a lot of members but few who participate. This will give you a chance to meet people who accept you for who you are no matter what you look like and or your sexual orientation. These are good people. Give them a chance and give yourself a chance.
2006-10-03 10:13:16 · answer #5 · answered by Karen Walker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are taking the first steps already talking things out - trying to figure out what you want - keep in mind that it is up to YOU to make yourself happy. Maybe you could join the group - and let the group leader know you would like to take things slow, tell them you want to hang back and observe mainly at first.
I bet you will find yourself coming out of your shell because you will be around a good group of people. Enjoy life and keep smiling!
2006-10-03 09:29:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe you'll have less stress after you are all the way out of the closet, but getting to that point can be really, really challenging. You may choose, as a member of my family did, to be out in most circumstances, but not to come out to members of your extended family, if there is no chance they'll accept you for who you are.
It's ok to take it slow. You could go to the counselor and go to a meeting of the club at school. You don't have to say anything right away. Take your time, feel your way in this process and you'll do what's right for you. Good luck!
2006-10-03 09:29:04 · answer #7 · answered by Yogini108 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first step is always the hardest... Just trust in your self. if you don't want to join, thendon't do it. But atleast check it out first. You might know some one there, and they could help you.
2006-10-03 11:29:37 · answer #8 · answered by aza_424 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe joining something that you believe in will help you to believe more in yourself? It worked for me...
2006-10-03 10:05:17 · answer #9 · answered by donrull 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋