What do I do about my best friend?
I have known my best friend (girl) for 2 years now. I am a guy. We used to be so close, and did absolutely everything together. Now she has a new boyfriend, who she told me about even before they got together. She does everything with him now. When he is not free she decides to text, phone or meet me. Basically only when convienent for her. When I try to not talk she eventually asks me to meet with her, putting more strain and hurt into me.
I am in two minds with this relationship - either to leave her to it, and let her come and find me when she is ready, or just to stay with her and feel a lot of pain inside. I try to tell her how I feel but she gets angry and so does her boyfriend. I am also jealous and feel very lost.
She is changing. I don't know what to do anymore.
I feel I try my hardest to like her now but it is very difficult after what has happened. The more time goes on the more frustrated I get and angry.
Any advice appreciated
2006-10-03 09:14:14 · 7 answers · asked by Michael 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I've had this happen many times with friends. The best advice I can give you is to explain to her why you feel hurt and hope for the best. She obviously is in the first "honeymoon" stage with her new "man" and girls like to spend all there time with the new guy during this stage. Many girls don't realize that they are hurting their friends by doing this. At least she is hanging out with you every once and a while. That means that she still cares for you. If at all possible, try to hang out with both her and her boyfriend together, so he doesn't get jealous of your relationship. He might be threatened by your bond with his girlfriend and that is why he is getting upset by your wanting to hang out with her. By making sure your friend's boyfriend isn't threatened by you might allow you to hang out with her more.
Also, if you just ride it out, the honeymoon phase will be over soon, and she will be more like she used to be.
2006-10-03 09:27:16 · answer #1 · answered by cheermb22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all i think you are jealous and i think its ok. The person doesn't change but if you think about the its not her that changed its the heart. You can still be friends right? i'm pretty sure your heart its different from hers. Feelings change dude, your feelings for her changed too. think about it first you guys are best friend and now you are in love. see what i mean feelings do change and no one or anyone can stop it from happening just like your best friend. I think your feelings for her will go away eventually. hey at least she still calls you right or meet up with you. as long as you trust each other or how friends whatever they do. just stay strong and if anything goes wrong you'll always be there to help ok! well tough it up dude! =D
2006-10-03 17:07:42 · answer #2 · answered by Element 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are experiencing something that everyone goes through at some time in their lives. When friends (male or female) find a "significant other" they tend to put all their time and effort into that new relationship. It's a natural progression and when you find a girlfriend you will probably do the same thing and expect your friends to understand, just as she is expecting you to understand now.
If your friendship is strong, it will survive this test - but you have choices to make. Will you choose to support your friend in her new relationship? Or will you choose to be petty and jealous of this new person in her life? How important is she to you?
Sounds to me like you thought of her as more than a friend tho'. Are you being honest with yourself?
2006-10-03 16:26:53 · answer #3 · answered by SuZeeQ 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if ur frustratedand uver tried talking to her and she ignores you i think that u have to let go. i no that sounds a ton easier then it actually is but if uve told her the issue and she ignores it and ur hurt and u keep getting fed up with this situation even if she breaks up with this guy and starts to date another one this situation could happen again. Right now ur a replacement or a second choice person to hang out with and thats not fair if you have been good friends for a long time. do whats gonna b fair to you!! btw sorri my answer is so long! lol
2006-10-03 16:23:31 · answer #4 · answered by cutie123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that if she doesn't listen to you in person then you should text her or email her saying somrthing like that you value her friendship but you feel like you're not really her friend, but her second string, and that if she and/or her boyfriend gets mad about this then also say that you dont want her to get mad at you for telling you the truth. i dont know if this is the advice that you're looking for but i wish you the best.
Hope to hear from you and all goes well,
~Unknown~
(good luck)
2006-10-03 16:24:46 · answer #5 · answered by unknown 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
srry but i think u need a new Best friend
2006-10-03 16:20:12 · answer #6 · answered by ~^~ M.Lay ~^~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo in LOVE WITH HER!!!!!!!!!!!!soo tell her and let her decide whats the next step................Good luck..........stay in touch....
2006-10-03 16:19:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋