ok to start i just want to tell you am 22 and he is 43 . he is over bearing and verbally abusive . in the last year i have lost all my friends because of him . he was only my 2nd partner and well , we had a huge blow out over him treating me like a child . i went out ( with my brother ) and had a few drinks . i eneded up cheating ( for the first time ) and now i am pregnant . I know i want to keep the babies (TWINS) but i have yet to tell the father or my bf .what should i do just leave and dont say a thing to him or tell him . o yea i work 35 hours a week and i am college , graduate next may : )
2006-10-03 09:04:25 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i was only 15 when the relation ship started . its not like i had a lot to go by and no i dont love him anymore , i am not EASY . i will get my graduate in social work in may 2007 . to all that have bad things to say SCREW YOU
2006-10-03 09:22:53 · update #1
i am in no way making exuses for what i did . everyone makes mistakes . its when you dont see it or care that makes it so bad Right ?
2006-10-03 09:29:08 · update #2
1) The age difference is substantial and as much as anyone would like to make it seem that "we can overcome it," reality is different.
2) No matter how many years apart you are there is absolutely NO EXCUSE for any type of abuse and if you have confronted him about it and/or received counseling and he continues you MUST leaving him for your own mental health and happiness.
3) You should not lose anyone over anyone.
4) You cheated "for the first time" because you are VERY unhappy and you NO LONGER love him and if you continue, you will continue to "cheat" on him.
5) KEEP those wonderful babies, plan for financial and emotional assistance from friends, family, and/or government.
6) Talk to the father of the babies. Is he going to do the right thing and at least help provide for them?
7) If you are going to keep having sex, USE PROTECTION, learn from your past mistakes and be strong, you deserve better and you can overcome this!
Good luck!
2006-10-03 09:15:07 · answer #1 · answered by nowhere 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all he is way to old for you anyhow. That is way to big of an age difference. You two have nothing in common. He is old enough to be your father so therefore he is going to treat you like one. He is over bearing and verbally abusive so why would you need to ask people on yahoo if you should leave? Of course you should. You made a mistake by cheating on him that should of never happened but what is done is done. He is not the father of the babies so you might just want to leave and contract the real father because he has every right to know he is going to be a daddy. Do not expect the new man to take a roll in marrying you and being the father of the two babies. Learn from this experience try to get out on your own and do things so you do not have to depend on a man. Good luck
2006-10-03 09:13:36 · answer #2 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had a huge blowout over you being immature, and you said you went out with your brother,got drunk, had an affair and got pregnant. Does this sound mature to you. You need to grow up for sure now that your pregnant. Take responsibility for your actions. Well if the man your with is abusive then leave him and start fresh. Yes you should tell the father. Whether he will want anything to do with you is a different story. Be glad you have a job and a possible future. Get a life and work towards being a good and stable parent for your child to be. Also the man your with was dating you when you were just 16 and he was 37 does that sound like a real great catch anyway. Good Luck.
2006-10-03 09:12:58 · answer #3 · answered by smile4u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok first of all, you were WAY TOO young when you started dating him! What did he want with a 15yr old? Anyways, it sounds as if you are unhappy, that's why you cheated. You are obviously looking for something he isn't giving you. If he is verbally abusive, I would suggest taking a friend with you if you tell him, otherwise tell him on the phone if you feel that is safer for you and your babies. As far as the father of your babies, you need to tell him and see if he will help you provide for them. If he doesn't there is ways around that! I hope you have the means to take care of 2, it might be rough but I know single moms who do it every day. And that makes me smile! Good luck to all 3 of you!
2006-10-03 09:56:09 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Amanda♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This can't be serious.......if it is....how in the world do you think telling an abusive man that you are going to have someone elses children...needless to say a one night stand going to help???? You need to do some serious soul-searching and find out what you are going to do with the rest of your life! The bottom line is you were irresponsible when you are at an age where you really do know how to be responsible. Personally, I wouldn't want to tie any man down with a relationship based on sex or cheating. You need to create a life for you by you and not try to have a guy commit on this set of circumstances, as they ultimately never work out. Do you really think your older boyfriend is going to welcome you with open arms along with another man's children?
Not only will you be subjected to more abuse, but so will your future children. Think of them if nothing else!!
2006-10-03 09:29:10 · answer #5 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a dilemma there. First of all, you claimed that your husband is an abusive person. I want to know if that's the excuse you used to justified your action. Anyway, my advise to you is you should straighten with your husband out. Leaving him is an option, but you should know that it's as much as your fault as his. If he did abuse him, you should of left him and get into a relationship. By cheating on him and getting pregnant, if you go to court, it looks like you are the bad person in this situation. Is your mistress willing to take the responsibility of raising the twin. You should make sure that he is will to provide for your newborn. Well, best of luck to you!
2006-10-03 09:19:24 · answer #6 · answered by revolou 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first you sound like a person who makes bad choices very often.
not that you are a bad person, but that the choices you make wind up messing your life up. Now you are going to have two little
babies, for their sake it is incumbent upon you to start thinking about them because the choices you make that mess up your life will also haunt them as well. Your question is a no brainer, leave him and you are not obligated to tell him anything. And do not make the mistake of marrying the guy who fathered your children, that would be even worse. Find a good responsible man who will love you and be a good daddy to your children.
2006-10-03 09:15:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have settled and I feel so sad for you. I was married to my husband at your age, so yes I see the ease of attachment for that long, but MARRIAGE and RELATIONSHIP are two different things. GET AWAY FROM HIM know.... he is really using you, and has been for a while, and with those twins, I have *NO* clue what you are going to do now.... SO SORRY
2006-10-03 11:38:39 · answer #8 · answered by cricketwinner@sbcglobal.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is messed up. but if i were u i would just leave , if u dont love him why u care, he is abusive maybe he will try to hurt u or the babies.. dont take a risk. get a new life!
2006-10-03 09:59:57 · answer #9 · answered by Ashlee_Hbiba 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're afraid, do no longer flow. you desire coverage (that way we don't could pay for you and your "infant daddy," as we are already paying for your "infant daddy." See what i'm asserting here? Why could you drag your superb chum with you that doesn't upload up in my ideas besides... If this isn't any longer a marriage notion, and he does not have his act mutually or you have any doubts approximately him having his act mutually, for god's sake lady, stay the place you're. do no longer jeopardize your infant's scientific coverage.
2016-10-18 10:32:10 · answer #10 · answered by agudelo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋