My husband came home late last night from drinking with his friends and I asked him if he would stay home more at night with me because I get scared at night all alone. I mean I have the baby, but I still feel alone because the baby usually sleeps. He got angry with me and told me to shut up and he would go out with his friends if he wanted. Then he grabbed my arms real hard and took me into the bedroom and threw me on the bed and spanked me. He told me never to tell him what to do. I guess I was being a little selfish, so I guess I deserved it. Plus he had been drinking and I don't think he knows his own strength sometimes. He apologized this afternoon and said he was sorry and he was going to bring me flowers so I know he loves me. Well I'm supposed to have my friend and her fiance over for dinner tonight and I am planning on wearing a long sleeve shirt to hide my arms but I know I'm going to have to roll them up when I do the dishes and I think she might see. What do I say?
2006-10-03 08:39:11 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This isn't really a serious question is it. If so your husband spanked you? what are you a child. Again if you are serious I would consider leaving your husband drunk or not he has no right to put his hands on you.
If this is a joke (which I'm sure it is) it's not funny, many women have to endure this type of life and it isn't there to be made fun of. You should be disgusted with yourself
People look at all her questions posted yesterday.
2006-10-03 08:42:25 · answer #1 · answered by Bassetlover 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Are you nuts? Accidently bruised your arms? He spanked you? It's your fault? You deserved it? I have been in the same situation as you and honey, there are no excuses for you husband to treat you that way. You don't deserve abuse just cuz you asked him to stay home a little more. You need to get out and now. It is not going to get any better, only worse. Quit making excuses for him. And if you decide to stay, when it happens the next time, pick something up and beat the hell out of him.
2006-10-03 08:57:53 · answer #2 · answered by dixiegirl027 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Holly cats! First off NO MAN should EVER grasp his wife hard enough to bruise her arms!
Secondly...and this is probably more important than the first one...You did NOTHING wrong! Who does he think he is spanking you in anger?
You have a big problem here....and its not how do I cover up the marks the man who is suppose to love left on my body.
This is abuse...plain and simple he needs help in controling his anger...and if he does not get some...then you get out! What are you going to tell your child when they are older and witness this? Oh thats okay I deserved it? What if...and he probably will he directs this at your child oneday...did he / she deserved it too?
If that was me and I did that to my wife.....should would beTaking the flowers I brought home and placing them on my grave....not really but you know what I mean.
Please REALLY put some thought into what you are going to do about this....and put NO thought in how to cover up for him!
Best of luck
2006-10-03 08:58:06 · answer #3 · answered by oldman 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
DO NOT DO DISHES WHILE YOUR COMPANY IS THERE IT CAN WAIT, WHY DO YOU NEED TO EXPLAIN ANYTHING TO THEM ANYWAY YOU DO NOT NEED TO AND THEY ARE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE YOUR LIES ANYWAY! DO NOT LIE TO THEM!
YOU CAN MAKE UP ALL THE EXCUSES YOU WNAT TO FOR HIM BUT IF HE DOESN'T QUIT YOU NEED TO GET OUT! YOU NEED TO GET OUT NOW FLOWERS AND DINNER WITH FRIENDS OR NOT!
WHY ARE YOU ALL OF A SUDDEN TAKING THE BLAME?
THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED TO YOU BY HIM! AND YOU KNOW IT ISN'T GOING TO BE THE LAST! I CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU AND YOU ARE AN ABUSED WOMEN FROM I DON'T KNOW WHERE - HE_L THATS RIGHT YOU ARE IN HE_L! WELL THIS JUST MAKES ME MAD!!!!!
AT FRIST, YOU BROUGHT SOMETHING TO HIM THAT BOTHERED YOU SO HE GETS PHYSICAL WITH YOU THIS IS THE WRONG WAY TO HANDLE THINGS ESPECIALLY HIS WIFE ASKING HIM TO STAY HOME MORE - HE'S AN IDIOT! AND YOU ARE MORE SO ONE IF YOU STAY! YOUR CHILD WILL BE NEXT AND DON'T THINK IT ISN'T GOING TO HAPPEN B/C IT WILL IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME. GEE WHAT A NICE LIFE YOU CAN'T EVEN TALK TO HIM ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL, YOU HAVE TO HID YOUR BRUISES AND HE'S OUT ALL HOURS OF THE NIGHT SOUNDS LIKE A LIFE I WANT TO LIVE, IT'S JUST PERFECT! I AM SO MAD THAT YOU DON'T USE THE GUTS YOU HAVE AND LEAVE HIM!
OH BUT I LOVE HIM, AND I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE AND HE'LL CHANGE AND WE HAVE A BABY - I'VE SAID IT ALL BEFORE AND WASTED SO MUCH TIME NOW YOU ARE GOING TO! B/C OF YOUR FEARS OF THE UNKONWN BUT YOU SHOULD BE AFRAID OF WHAT YOU ALREADY KNOW! HE DOENS'T LOVE YOU AND HE ISN'T CAPABLE OF CHANGING NOT RIGHT NOW B/C YOU MAKE IT ALL RIGHT FOR HIM AND BETTER....
HOW MUCH TIME DO YOU AND YOUR CHILD HAVE? TO SET AROUND AND BE ABUSED BY HIM???? IF YOU WANT A HOLE LIFE OF IT WELL YOU'VE ALREADY GOT IT! BEST WISHES FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILD FOR YOU TO GROW UP AND BE SMARTER THEN WHAT YOU ARE BEING RIGHT NOW! PLEASE SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO YOURSELF AND THE BABY BY STAYING? YOU ARE ALSO TELLING YOUR CHILD IT'S O.K. IF THEY GROW UP AND THE ONE THEY LOVE BEATS THEM!
2006-10-03 09:20:18 · answer #4 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Oh, that's easy! Just tell her the aliens who abducted your brain a while back came by last night to try to give it back - but that you like your life as an idiot so much that you fought them off, and you ended up with a bruise to show for it.
Hell, I believe it.
2006-10-03 09:09:00 · answer #5 · answered by tagi_65 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with yourself. Don't make excuses for a man that beat on you. You will find yourself making up excused more than you want to. A true friend will be there for you, she won't look down on you for what he did. Now if you don't want her to be involved in you personal affairs. I think the best thing to do right now if to cancel dinner and make plans for another night. Your not going to be at peace with yourself if you don't tell the truth. Just cancel.
2006-10-03 08:45:41 · answer #6 · answered by RLS 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
she's your friend right? tell her the truth, if you can't tell her there tell her you'll talk to her later. you shouldn't have to lie to your friends. also your husband shouldn't have been doing that to you any way, and your not selfish, your husband should be understanding of your feelings. talk to your husband and explain how you feel, that his drinking is interfering with the relationship, you dont feel safe, your scared whatever your emotions may be. i told my b/f all of that, because when he drinks he gets mean. if your husband loves you he'll listen to you and try to understand where you come from. besides its good to have friends to talk to, you can't keep everything bottled up. you shouldn't even have the bruises to explain in the first place. be honest, talk to your husband and be firm with your feelings, if it is scaring you that much or interfereing with your relationship tell him. you don't want to live on eggshells, i did that for a year and half, it sucks so much. dont be afraid to voice your feelings ever....hope this helps...
2006-10-03 08:50:08 · answer #7 · answered by WonderWhy 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all drunk or not, that's abuse. and if it happens frequently, you should make him get treatment or report him to the cops. I'm not one of the people that says if he hits you then he doesn't love you... I just think that love is irrelevant when it comes to whether he is abusive or not...
Second... If he comes home drunk alot, it's probably not a good idea to bring things like that up while he's intoxicated... and that's something else he should probably get help with...
As for what to tell you friend... it's up to you whether to lie to her or not, but bruises like that tend to look like hand prints... kind of hard to explain away.
2006-10-03 08:52:24 · answer #8 · answered by In the light 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You SO DID NOT DESERVE THAT!! He should UNDER NO circumstance be putting his hands on you. Be very careful because that's how the abuse starts. It could.ve been a one time thing,but I have my doubts. NEVER think it's your fault or you MADE him do it!!That's what I used to think when I was being abused, but I finally got out of that relationship. Good Luck.
2006-10-03 08:53:09 · answer #9 · answered by willis_is_40 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like this is a big problem......Has he ever left a bruise before? Now the spanking part......hmmmm, that's kinda kinky. I wish my husband spanks me.....oh, he does......lol. Anyways, just tell them the truth, or either you could tell them, that the sex got kinda rough last night, and laugh it off. Tell them that you were trying the bicycle where he holds your arms while doing it doggie style and he really got into it........lol. Just kidding.
2006-10-03 08:50:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋