Is this normal?

Question

My wife and I have been married for over 6 years and have been together for over 9 and in the last two to three weeks, she has been practically ignoring me. We both seem to admit things don't seem to be "right" but we can't put our finger on it. I have spent the last four years going to night school and this is the first month that I have been home "full time" from it. Is this a normal adjustment period or is this leading to bigger issues (ie divorce)? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

She may be feeling a bit "cramped", after getting used to being alone at night. I would think that this is an adjustment phase for her...but you must talk to her and get to the bottom of it.

Answer 2

It may be be both. When you and your spouse spend a long time apart, the one at home develops a routine that is disrupted by the other upon return. It occurs frequently in military marriages (I'm ex-military and ex-military spouse). A month or more will be needed for re-adjustment. It could also be a sign of something bigger too. The key to getting through it is communication. Talk to her about how her ignoring you makes you feel and suggest some ways to spend time together.

Answer 3

This is the famous seven year itch.
they made a movie about it. it is a comedy so take it in stride as it is really funny.
life is funny.
people are funny and relationships are the funniest of all between men and women.try a second honeymoon or a trial separation.
maybe you shoudl each go get some strange stuff and get it out of your system. it will not kill you if you keep your sense of humor.
some couples start swinging at this point in the relationsjip and it works fine. ( but maybe just a short term fix) Nothing is forever anyway so do not sweat it. if the magic is gone and you do not care anymore, then bite the bulet and part friends and move on.Most imporatnt say what is true for you and what is on your mind and let him or her do the same and then think logically like adults and come with a plan.

Answer 4

Okay there seems to be a problem But divorce is not the issue right now cause you guys are just getting use to you being at home is all. My hubby was gone for 18 months & when he came home it was hard to get things like before cause I had became so use to being by myself. More in my own routine thing. It seemed as if we didn't connect at first like I had hoped but we finally met each other half way & it is great once again. Negative talk like divorce needs to be let go & work out the situation instead.

Answer 5

first of all yes this is an adjustment period. but i can't understand why your wife of as many years is ignoring you. i would think that she would be excited about you being home in the evenings, unless you are interrupting something that may have been going on while you were in school. maybe you should spend time with her and do some things that you both enjoy doing.

Answer 6

it could very well be an adjustment period....she used to have the house to herself (with possiable children) Now that you are there....it might be a big change for her and she doesnt think that she has time for herself. Not saying that it is something wrong with you but it is such a change once you are home all the time. You also might want to somehow find out what she had been doing while you were at those classes......I am a woman...and I am not or will never be unfaithful towards someone...but that would be a good chance to...NOT SAYING SHE WOULD DO THAT

Answer 7

Sounds like and adjustment period. My brother and sis-in-law went through this after she finished 5 years of university courses she took at night and week-ends.

It's like moving in wiht someone or a new job. It usually takes about 6 weeks to adjust to a new routine. Just don't let it get too out of hand. Try doing something together one or two nights and then find your own thing. Gradually it will improve. It's like quitting smoking or dieting...4 years if routine is hard to break.

Answer 8

Look man, you two need to sit down and communicate. In other words, you need to sit down and talk about your marriage, how you feel and how she feels before you end up at a marriage counselor or an attorneys office. Ask her What's up with the silent treatment???? If two people truly love each other than they should always be talking to each other. My wife and I talk all the time to each other about everything and anything. 29 years man in November. But, I love her just as you love your wife.

Maybe you guys need to start dating again and go out with each other somewhere like a restaurant or out to a movie. Just you and her go out together like you used to do. Yeah, that is exactly what you and her need. Take her somewhere for a weekend. The fall is beautiful and there are plenty of these Bed and Breakfast Inns all over the country. She would love it.

Good Luck and I truly hope everything works out for you two.

Answer 9

I would think its just a normal adjustment period, she has got so used to spending her nights alone so to speak she is now finding it difficult to re adjust. its amazing how quickly you can settle into a routine without even knowing it. give it time and instead of just saying somethings "not right" talk to each other more, get to know each other again take time out to relax and enjoy each others company, i bet the last 4 years have been tough on all concerned, now its over, take some time to get to know each other again and keep talking.

Answer 10

You guys just need to try and figure it out. Maybe you need to go on a date and just have fun. Since everything is changing you both might need some adjusting time. This is completely normal and will not end in a divorce unless one of you wants one. All relationships have their UPS AND DOWNS.....just make sure to have sex and communicate.