Help. My grandmother is beginning to really worry me!?

Question

Recently, she's been feeling really ill for a various reasons, and today, she's been taken into hospital and I'm getting calls from litterally everyone asking if I know anything. At the moment, we're lead to believe that it's likely she's had a ministroke.

The thing thats worrying me is that she can't see sense to call an ambulance, or at the very least a doctor whenever she feels anything. The first person she will call is my mum, which I can understand, but I wish we could get her to see that it's better to call an ambulance as they can help immediately. It doesn't matter if it's nothing major, it's better to find out than suffer.

Does anyone have any ideas on how we can get her to see this path being better? She's always saying she doesn't want to put anyone else out of their way.

Answer 1

Try to explain to her that if she doesn't call the ambulance, she will be putting her family in a far worse position if something bad happened to her, than if she didn't. I understand where she is coming from. Not wanting to take a ambulance from someone who is very very hurt, but she should try to think about what would happen if she doesn't call. It is very difficult when our grandparents live by themselves. I wish I had the means to have my Grandmother live with us. Then I could take care of her. Best of Luck.

Answer 2

The first thing you want to do is talk to her hospital physician and tell her/him all of her symptoms. Tell the doctor that you know that she is in for something specific but you would really appreciate the doctor running more tests to determine the causes of these other symptoms.

I think she would feel embarrassed calling an ambulance especially when she can't determine whether her symptoms are serious or not. Your mother should have a cell phone with her at all times. When your grandmother calls, your mom can dial the ambulance on her home phone if necessary. The minimum rule is that your grandmother should call your mom with all symptoms she has.

The problem is that if you bug her she may not call anyone. If an ambulance comes and it isn't necessary, she can always blame your mother.

Answer 3

Just a quick note. Who is going to pay for all these ambulance calls? I agree she should be able to asess her own condition more accurately and determine whether an ambulance is necessary. I am 65, and I'll be damned if I'm going to call for and pay for a hefty ambulance charge if it isn't absolutely necessary. Medicare will only pay for an ambulance if transportation in any other vehicle would endanger your health. Most, if not all, of the supplemental plans don't even mention ambulance service! This makes any medically unnecessary ambulance trips your burden. I don't know about your grandmother, but my 524 dollars a month SS doesn't stretch that far.

Answer 4

That's a hard one. You don't say how old she is, that may have a lot to do with it. Also, having had a stroke, she would not have been thinking clear enough to call an ambulance, and she called the first person who she knew would care that there was something wrong. As we age, we forget more, it's just life, and we are more comfortable with what we know to be for certain. Your mum loves her, and she will get her the care she needs.... she knows that. The person on the other end of the emergency line - she doesn't know them, why would they care? I wish the best for your family. If this is the first mini-stroke, be prepared for more. That's the way they work. She will be fine, just love her and be there for her. I know from whence I speak, my mom had TIA's (Transient Ischemic Attacks - mini strokes)

Answer 5

I assume she is in her elder years so why is she not being monitored by her G.P.? Strokes occur when the blood pressure rises too high so if she was seeing her g.p. regularly this would be known and she would be seen by a heart specialist at the hospital and put on medication which is in turn also monitored say weekly fortnightly or monthly, no elderly person should go any length without seeing their g.p. Since she is in hospital now she will be diagnosed with whatever it is so listen to the advice of the hospital staff on how best to look after her and make it your business to get her to her appointments. Many old people or people in general do not know when they have had a stroke as it affects the brain so if she is going to have a tendancy to have them her care needs should be reviewed by the family. No old person likes to put people out but sometimes the younger generation needs to step in with an encouraging helping hand. Hope she gets well soon.

Answer 6

sounds familiar. my gran is exactly the same, she will not ask for hep and when you ask why she didnt see the doctor she says she didnt want to bother anyone. i think this is to do with the generation they belong to. a lot of elderly people where brought up to just get through illness and not complain. they didnt visit a doctor unless they were very ill. now that your gran has been taken to hospital her gp will keep a close eye on her. make sure that she has regular appointments with the doctor whether someone has to take her and go into the appoinment with her so the doctor knows what is going on. they have a habit of not telling them everything. my gran tells me whats wrong then when she goes to see the doctor doesnt tell him. the worst is im a nurse and give her advice and eplain what could be wrong. i have resorted to just making her appointments myself and taking her. get crafty with her. also whilst she is in hospital ask the nursing staff in agreement from your gran to do a social assessment and occupational therapy assessment. these will show how well your gran can cope at home and if she needs any equipment to make life easier they can arrange this also. grans can be very stubborn and want t keep their independance as much as possible. tell your gran the assessment is just to see what she can get help with it is not set in stone and she can always say no at the end of it. another good idea is a piper alarm, a pendant call system that she can wear around her neck and if needs help she can press the button and gain help straight away.

Answer 7

Hi Mike you don't say but does your grandmother live alone perhaps its time that she came to live with a member of her family. Or perhaps someone could move in with her it would ease the stress and worry factor for both her own health sake and well being and that of her caring family.

My mum who's 81 years lives with me and where possible she has all her treatment done at home and mum has many chronic conditions. It is the last thing an elder person wants to go into a hospital and a definite no no to a old peoples home.

It frightens the life out of them and from the news it isn't much wonder hearing about patients left lying on trolleys in corridors for hours and hours before being seen by a young over worked doctor. The reports also about homes scares the life out of an older person and they hate it without a doubt.

It is difficult at any age to lose your independence and it isn't any wonder when you listen to the news and media reports of elder abuse in homes where even water and basic essentials are in very short supply.

The older person still needs to be part of a family and have respect of their wishes [this has dissapeared from our society and it has a careless additude ring that hurts].

The older person doesnt want to be a burden but we all get their no of us are getting any younger and time does pass us by quickly.

If perhaps you would discuss with your grandmother if she is worried about being on her own. Let her know she has a caring family who support her and want to understand better whats going on in her head this may help relieve her worst fears and could point to why that she doesnt want to be seen by a doctor.

Take care and hope that things work out for the best.

Answer 8

My husband's Nan has health problems and she has one of those buzzers to wear around the neck that connects to a help line. All she has to do is press it and someone talks to her over the speaker unit within seconds. If there is a problem they will ring for an ambulance AND for any family members you want contacting (they already have a list of relatives numbers stored at their end). I'm sorry, I can't remember what it's called but she got it arranged through her GP. Maybe you could do the same thing for your Grandmother.

Answer 9

Someone needs to be with her more. And making phone calls, when they can't be there.
My husband's grandmother called and asked me if I could take her to get her hair done. When I went to pick her up, she was pale and glossy. I drove her to the salon, and sat in the parking lot to call her doctor. The salon owner said she needed to go to the hospital, the doctor confirmed it. We took her straight to the ER. She had a stroke. The funny thing is, she didn't want to put the salon owner out by not showing up for her appointment.
I think as we get older, we focus so hard on trying to not worry anyone, and we stop paying attention to our health.
I hope your Granmdother feels better soon.
Good luck Hon!

Answer 10

One thing you have to relize that in your grandmothers generation, they didn't have the time or money to always call a doctor. Another thing is that she may feel more secure and safe to call you mom. Notice that she is calling a female relative! Something you can do for your grandmother is just reassure her constantly that you are there for her and that you will help her whenever needed. Charish what you have....I never had any grandparents. Just know that she is more secure for the way things "were" not for what things are "now".