need help how can i love myself after a break up i have been?

Question

verbal abuse by him we are not together any more what can i do i feel like my family do not understand what i am going through

Answer 1

It's hard after you've been verbally abused, to start loving yourself again. I've been through this first hand.

If you're family doesn't understand, talk to your friends. Hang out with them and have fun. I know it's easier said than done, but you can do it. Trust me.

Also, you've got to look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that it's his loss. Write down everything you do like about yourself... whether it be you're funny, you're beautiful, whatever it is, tell yourself that!

Take some time for yourself and reconnect with YOU. YOu've got to make yourself happy first before anything else. YOu've got to love yourself before you can love anybody else!

This guy was NO GOOD for you! YOU DESERVE TO BE TREATED THE WAY YOU DESERVE TO BE! :)

Best of luck!

Answer 2

confidence is all u need you did the right thing for you in time they will see this but at the end of the day its ur life ,u do what you want never mind other people they have their own lives ,people can be so nosey ,scub up ,put on the make up ,brush ur self down and take time for you ,it will all fall back into place,dont get into conversations about this as its the past ,ur only interest should be the future,and remember it takes two not one ,,you want better from life and to be treated with some respect,put a smile on ur face ,and show the family this was for the best ,stop the tears,as there is always better around the corner,

Answer 3

You need to start going to therapy to deal with the break up and to get your confidence back. If you are unable to go to therapy, then start reading every self help book you can get your hands on to help you with this situation. Go to your local library and check out some books to help you. See if the area that you live in offer any group counselling for divorced people to help you through this difficult time. You are not alone, there are many people out there in your similiar situation so, even though your family can't relate to what you are going though other people can. Good luck!

Answer 4

Do "the next thing", by which I mean the task that's in front of you - clean your house, wash your hair, take the dog for a walk, tidy your desk. But do it as if you're doing it for your god (if you happen to have one) or for someone you love and admire - if you're a Brad Pitt fan, imagine you're cleaning Brad's house, or tidying Brad's desk. Do it with full concentration, I mean, so that you aren't thinking about yourself and your problems but just about doing the task that's in front of you, it doesn't matter how small it is. And then, when you've done something, step back and look at it, at what you achieved.

And then do the next thing.

You took a step. And another. Tell yourself, "One step at a time, I can walk around the world. Watch me."

Answer 5

the 1st step to loving yourself is to stay away, or get away, from someone who makes u feel BADLY about yourself.... anything negative. whether it is verbal, physical abuse, or even just an uncaring, unhappy, negative person, u should distance yourself. that goes for family members, friends, acquaintances, strangers... if someone scares, hurts, threatens, or makes u feel BAD, u should stay away.

first of all, constantly seek what is Positive, Healthy, and ultimately Happy. filter out anyone or anything negative. find nice people, keep them around you. don't cling on to anything that makes you feel bad. logically speaking, that makes sense right? i know emotionally, it's easy to get "caught up" in a relationship, and the good feelings u feel in the beginning...but those are Temporary.... u need to find someone who can make you feel Happier, healthier, and more positive as time goes on!!! :) isn't that worth looking for? don't stop til u find that. until then, my advice to u is to first work on yourself:

ur appearance (the better u look, the better u feel about urself)
ur mind (the more u know, the more u can understand about life)
ur relationships (with friends, family, eventually strangers - keep an open mind. since u are working on ur looks and mind, u will not be as "shy", and u have more freedom to get to know people and to share ur knowledge, as well as Continue seeking what is Positive, Healthy and Happy)

u can do this..it takes time, but u can do it. u just have to learn that you are Worth it, and that u can Always improve yourself, no matter what u did in the past, no matter what happened to u before, u can make Changes for the better. :) good luck, and don't give up hope on urself..that way, u are not completely Dependent on someone else for ur happines, and u will be able to discover who you WANT to be with, and who is GOOD for you, not Needing someone even if he is bad to you.

Answer 6

I would recommend having a meal with them, that way when there's an uncomfortable question you have something to do and look at. While they are asking questions and you don't like one you can take a big mouthful of food and choose your answer while chewing you food. The reason they don't understand is because you haven't been able to tell them without them critisizing you. Good Luck

Answer 7

Well your off to a good start by getting away from him. Next you realize that your family dont care about you and your personnal problems. Finally you came seeking some one who will understand you. Good for you. Go to a spa get a treatment, buy a new outfit, go to your favorite restaurant and order your favorite dinner. ( make sure you wear that outfit you just bought.) Then go out for a drink and I am sure some one will come up to you and start talking to you.Because d*** you look good.

Answer 8

Hang in there. I understand it feels like you'll never be the same, like you'll never heal. But you will!! Love yourself, and be confident about yourself. Confidence is really important. Have dignity of yourself! This is very important. Hang out with friends, go see a movie or start a new project. Be proud of what you've accomplished and what you see yourself accomplishing. Value yourself because if you don't, who will? (Obviously other people out there, but you need to tell yourself over and over...I love myself...I love myself.) I hope this helps you! Remember...repeat over and over..."I love myself...I am great...I have dignity..." REPEAT!

Answer 9

I said a prayer for you today
And know God must have heard-
I felt the answer in my heart
Although He spoke no word!
I didn't ask for wealth or fame
(I knew you wouldn't mind)-
I asked Him to send you treasures
Of a far more lasting kind!
I asked that He'd be near you
At the start of each new day
To grant you health and blessings
And my friendship to share your way!
I asked for happiness for you
In all things great and small-
But it was for His loving care
I prayed the most of all!

By: Kenny P. aka-Cobra

Answer 10

What you need to remember, is that, You cannot control, or change another's level of self-control. I think of things this way..."I can't change yesterday. I have no control over tomorrow, and very little to do with may happen today. All I can ever do is change how I "RESPOND" to has, may, or did happen.