I recently gotten a divorce, i regret the decision now. we have three boys that need their father. my ex now has a girlfriend.what should i do? i want him back in our lives for good
2006-10-03 07:39:10 · 14 answers · asked by micahchrisnoah 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i want him back. but he has a girlfriend. i know he wants me back, but can i do? everytime i want to talk to him, she's always there,and when she's around, he talks to me bad,but when i catch him at work or by himself he talks sweet. what can i do or not do
2006-10-03 07:48:16 · update #1
It's normal to have ambivalent feelings (aka Buyer's Remorse) around big, permanent decisions. Divorce is no different. I might ask you why this huge need? Are you wanting him back in your lives for your kids... or for you? If it's for your kids, you might consider that forcing a dad to be a Father is a failing effort. Fathers WANT to raise their children and need no encouragement or coercion. If you want him back for you, you might think about your ex like a gallon of milk: You went to the refrigerator, pulled out the milk, and found that it was spoiled. What do you do now? Put it back in the fridge and check it tomorrow? NO!! You throw it out and get a new one!
Your children DO need a male role model in their lives, but you might consider why it NEEDS to be their biological father (I'm assuming he's not very involved based on your post).
Either way, your self esteem sounds like it's taken a series of hits. I would suggest that you work on something for YOU as a woman (not a wife, mother, ex-wife... whatever).
Hope this helps... and good luck!
2006-10-03 08:10:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry but I beleive its too late! You need to strt your life a new now! The boys will adjust in time as long as you do and be mature about the divorce that its over! You sound like you are just having regrets we all do sometimes..But its a done deal and hey what ever made u divorce was for good reason.!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-03 14:47:49 · answer #2 · answered by jessy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no turning back. Your reasons are logical and possibly beneficial for ur children, but u have to live with your choices and own up to it, u cant say and do something and say....ooops esp now that ur ex has a girlfriend, are u sure u are ready to break someone's heart because u think, u made the wrong decision....think again...i will give u my most honest opinion, there are times in our life that we will have bad decisions in our life, face it and consider it a good teacher as i'm sure u will be in that y path again...where u have to choose...next time choose with your eyes open, weigh all ur options , consider the pros and cons.....
2006-10-03 14:44:57 · answer #3 · answered by ♦cat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him how you feel. Please don't use the children as an excuse. He already knows how much they need him. If you can afford it why don't you try counseling. Since you have been married to him, it may be easier to express how you feel, after all you know him best. If you are jealous of his new relationship, say so. Don't hold your feelings inside. If he decides to come back then good, but if not, move on. Get over it the best way you know how. Still let the children see him regardless of the new girl. Be strong and good luck.
2006-10-03 15:11:25 · answer #4 · answered by tsij 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cant really say that i know how you feel because i have never been married. i think you should just set him down and talk to him tell him how you feel with him gone. what a mistake you made and how bad its hurting you and the boys. thats really all you can do bc u cant make em be with you. i just hope all well works out for you!!!
2006-10-03 14:45:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That will be hard but it can be done. My husband was gone for over two months and he came back to our three kids and me. Send him a letter or e-mail explaining why you think you two should give it another try.
2006-10-03 14:41:44 · answer #6 · answered by jenlovely01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish you two would have thought about this before divorce. It will be hard to undo the damage. Know what I mean Vern?
2006-10-03 14:47:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is a good father he will be. life is full of regrets but he has moved on and so should you. that dose not mean that you don't love him or he dose not love you but apparently you both agreed on the divorce
2006-10-03 14:44:23 · answer #8 · answered by taw06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you only want him back because now he has someone new? decide that before you start the process of getting him back, and getting your sons' hopes up.
2006-10-03 14:46:56 · answer #9 · answered by *KiM* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should have thought about your kids when you got divorced, dont use them as an excuse now, he is happy with somebody else, let him alone.
2006-10-03 14:47:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋