Should I have not said anything?

Question

My sister met up with an old boyfriend she had when she was 18. (Shes 51 now) He is moving here (lives elsewhere now) he is getting divorced (my sister is also divorced) He is promising her to pay for her mortgage, give her spending money, give her 3 boys spending money, buy her a ranch with horses, a new car, trips, you name it! He is going to work as a tractor trailer driver and be gone for about 10 days, then home for 4 days. He said all he asks is that he stay at her house on his 4 days home. I told her what I thought, and now she is not talking to me. Does this whole thing sound for real? and should I have kept my mouth shut?

Answer 1

Well she is your sister and you were just voicing your concern and she should understand that, however, the choice is hers. Just be supportive and understanding. If it works out, it works out, if not, don't say I told you so. Be there for her no matter what. Thats what sisters are for.

Answer 2

without knowing what you said to her, it's hard to comment as to whether you should have said anything at all. You need to give us the full story.

At first glance though, it sounds like she is going to be a kept women. What does she have to bring to this relationship?

If he is only employed as a tractor trailer driver, does he have the money to make all of these promises? or is he promising her things that he can't deliver on?

Is she only waiting to be with him because of what he can do for her?

Answer 3

Girl I seriously doubt he can afford all of that after a divorce, and if he can why doesn't he just get him somewhere to live? To be honest it doesn't even sound like he is getting a divorce. And he is just trying to have fun on the side. You did good by expressing your feelings to your sister, deep down she knows something is fishy thats probably why she is mad.

Answer 4

W/out knowing his story, I'd say give the guy the benefit of the doubt. He may sincerely want to give all this to your sister, and more. If this all turns out to be a bunch of hot air, she'll find out in time. Until then, be a supportive ear and be there for her if her knight in shining armor is a dud. Good luck.

Answer 5

Deep down inside of her she knows you were right some how and that's why she became upset. You're her sister and she loves and respects you. It's hard sometimes to listen to good advice. So just give her sometime to come back around. You did the right thing.

Answer 6

You asked : Should I have not said anything? AND YOU FAILED TO TELL US WHAT YOU DID SAY TO YOUR SISTER ! How could anyone successfully evaluate without this missing information? Your sister is old enough to make her own life decisions! Unless she asks your opinion you should keep you thoughts to yourself.

Answer 7

You already told her what you thought, so I guess there's nothing more you can say. But I can almost guarantee this man will need to "borrow" money until he gets "established".
The guy is a nutcase and if sis believes him and refuses to listen, she's in for a fall.

Answer 8

She is going to make whatever descision she wants and there is nothing you can do about it. Now if she ASK you for your opinion than give it to her otherwise I would just stay out of it.

Answer 9

Letting her know your opinion about the situation is okey but making her change her mind is not... All you can do is stay by her side especially at times she need you most.

Answer 10

I think you did the right thing by telling her what you thought. I think she knows what is going by dont want to get rid of him and let you know that you are right about something she needs to know.