I feel overwhelmed, I am married have 2 kids I live in a mess, I feel like my finances are out of control and almost like I can not think straight to do what I think or know I should do, instead of helping my husband goes on and on about how bad the house and when he does clean he yells and cusses the WHOLE time, it is VERY stressful, our kids room looks like a disaster area, we have 4 dogs and 2 cats and the kids barely care for them, I feel I am at my wits ends and need to get away and make a game plan and come back ready for battle, but I don't care, I really don't care about anything, what can I do.
2006-10-03 07:19:48 · 13 answers · asked by whattheheck 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I do work full time, for those that think I sit on my butt all day
2006-10-04 14:16:42 · update #1
There are cheap alternatives to getting away to get refocused. Tell the family that you are taking a mini-get away. Ask to stay in a church lodging, cheap hotel, or even just go to the park for the afternoon or some place quiet like a library. Take a pad of paper, relax, breathe, and write out what's wrong and plans or steps to fix it.
I also recommend Total Money Makeover. He has a game plan for finances and how to get the whole family involved with reducing debt and increasing life. Good luck.
2006-10-03 07:23:02 · answer #1 · answered by amandasamland 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, maybe you should sit down a minute and make a listof all of the things that are stressing you out so well. Sounds like it won't help, but you'd be surprised. Then, after you look over the list, start crossing out the things you cannot and do not have any control over (ie, your husband's attitude, things of that nature). Next, start to go over how you can eliminate each item listed (ie, the pets:maybe give them away or reduce the number of pets you have, the house: make up a chore chart for the kids to follow and maybe even your husband, the finances: talk to a financial advisor or counselor, it helps). And finally, take a break, once you get things in order, there should be no reason for you not to stop and take time for yourself! Good luck!
2006-10-03 14:32:20 · answer #2 · answered by Yahoo! Answers Chic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of the 2 damn cats and 4 damn dogs. If your finances are bad then you can't afford them anyway!! They are helping your house be a mess!! Grab yourself up by the boot straps and get it together!! You have two kids to think about!! You have those poor kids living in a mess??!! Take a day, throw everything out in the yard and clean it up. Only take back in what you really need. Getr a friend to help you if you can. Have the kids help you if they are two or older, there is something they can do to help!! Having your house in order will be a good start and will make you feel better already. You don't have the option to let everything fall apart!! Now get up and get going!! Good luck!
2006-10-03 14:28:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
take some "me time" off a few days a week for an hour or two. go for a walk, or do something you enjoy doing. if it is possible turn your phone off.
to help w/ some other problems id say maybe get rid of a few pets (i know it sucks) but pets shouldnt be a priority right now. plus you are probably spending too much money on them anyway. when your children make a mess, make them clean it up! dont let them believe that things just clean themselves up! dont offer any rewards for cleaning, just offer consequences if they dont. everyday ppl dont get rewards for cleaning, so this is important! as for your husband have a talk with him and let him know how you feel and what the situation is doing to you.
as for getting away, like i said, if you cant afford it set some time alone to do something simple just so you can clear your mind. go to the park, or library, see if there are any free events in your area you can attend so you can lighten up and have some fun. good luck with everything!
2006-10-03 14:37:52 · answer #4 · answered by kitti7420 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all take a deep breath. You seemed so tense from what you wrote.
Do you have a friends house that you could go to by the weekend? If not try booking a room at a hotel for the weekend at the state you're in. They should offer discounted rates for locals. Try your best to relax and have some fun. If you live close to a park you can go for walks in the afternoons, play on the swing, listen to music and just watch the clouds fly by and try to not worry.
Haggen Daz Ice- Cream (Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough) always makes me feel good so I try to have some and listen to music. Music always has they way of making me feel less tense.
Sometimes when you're overwhelmed you might feel like crying and letting it all out or laughing. This is where music helps a great deal...it lets you laugh, it lets you cry, it transports you to a different place where you forget about your problems.
Blessings...hope it all works out.
2006-10-03 14:31:45 · answer #5 · answered by Lucky 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The most economical "get aways" I know of are called "retreats" --- and are sponsored by local churches -- which last from 2 days to a week. They are usually available several times a year. If you can't afford the small amounts requested, most churches have funds available to cover your costs. This is a time-tested way to recover mental health and provide inner strength for the future. You will be among sympathetic, loving people who share your same problems. In case you do not already attend some church, the Chamber of Commerce or local Ministerial Alliance will recommend several in your area. Their telephone numbers are in your telephone directory.
2006-10-03 14:42:16 · answer #6 · answered by Scoop81 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not going to sugar coat this i have a feeling that your husband is the only one working ........I'm a stay at home mom and maybe old fashioned ........but i think you can manage to keep your house clean .......there are a few steps you can take to make life more pleasant for everyone ......clean your house...... get rid of the animals that no one obviously cares about .... show your husband a little love.... and your right it is stress full especially for these poor children......he shouldn't yell and cuss but i bet hes at his Witt's end too....you sound very self centered to me ......look around at what you have to be thankful for like 2 healthy children .....pull up your boot strings and try to be a mom. and if that doesn't work you need professional help for depression but i think if you put a little more effort in you would have less time to ponder on being depressed.and needing to get away!...Its going to be allot more stress full being a single mom i promise you and that's where your headed.
2006-10-03 14:41:58 · answer #7 · answered by funkyk 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Inform your husband and family that you are taking a weekend off. Do not ask permission, do not negotiate. Explain to them you are going to stay with a friend and that when you get back, the house needs to be clean. Explain to them that when you come back, you will have some new rules and if they don't like the new rules, you will be happy to move out permanently. Lincoln freed the slaves, no reason to be kept like one in your own home.
2006-10-03 14:23:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Contact a women's shelter. Try to talk to a counselor who is trained in dealing with domestic violence. Make sure you change your passwords on you email program and don't write them down, just in case your husband is as abusive as it seems.
You all need to care for those pets adequately, or you are in danger of neglecting them. Neglect and abuse of animals is a violation of the laws in some states.
Let's start looking for resources for your family needs.
2006-10-03 14:24:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe go to a friends home for the weekend and get you plan ready.
Good Luck
2006-10-03 14:22:53 · answer #10 · answered by Jessica H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋