We haven't spoke in 2 days!?

Question

My husband & I had an argument about the stupidist thing, he left the juice out on the counter. Keep in mind, he's always leaving juice out, plates on the table, socks on the floor, etc. I'm basically his maid and now I'm fed up. When I made that comment that he'd left the juice out on the counter, he ignored me. When I said did you hear me?, he said in a very sarcastic tone, yeah I heard you and kept watching tv. I was told to be the bigger person but I can't. I treat him like a King & he treats me like a servant. What should I do?

Answer 1

from a guys point of view.....men and women are different, different things are important to us. the juice on the counter apparently does not bother him in the least. Ask yourself this, if he felt strongly about something that you felt was no big deal, but he pointed it out consistantly, youd get tired of hearing it also and would feel like you are being talked to like a child. For instance, a wheel could fall off my wifes car and she'd keep driving it. It does me no good to point out that the tires are low, or it needs an oil change, I just take care of it myself, if its something that bothers me and only me...how can I expect her to make it a priority. Ya gotta pick your fights and make your stand on things that are important, like your core beliefs in life...... juice on the counter cost you guys 2 days together, is it worth it?

Answer 2

Stop being his maid/servant.Sit down and discuss your issues with him...are they really worth fighting about? What kinds of things does he do that are good? What things do you do that annoy him?

If this is worth making an issue over to you, then simply stop picking up after him...leave the juice out (it will spoil and he won't have it to drink), leave the dirty plates out 'til he cleans them...socks or clothing tossed on the floor where they don't belong, could go in the garbage...

Or you could suck it up and realize he's not a super tidy person...but you married him for other reasons so is this stuff forgivable or is there a bigger, underlying issue upsetting you?

Answer 3

I understand where you're coming from, now that I've been staying home I've been doing all the cleaning we have a lady that comes to stay with me, while he's at work but I don't want her to clean I just like the company!! Anyway my fiance' does the same things he leaves **** sitting out throws his jackets on the couch and when he changes his clothes and takes a shower he leaves his towel and work clothes all over the bathroom and bedroom floor!! Don't take it too personal just explain to him in a calm voice that it's hard to do everything alone, all you're asking is that he do the small things! If that don't work just clean up all around him and don't invite anyone over and let everything he does just sit there and see what he says after a few days!! That's what my friend did to her husband and he got so annoyed that he finally picked it up his self and when he asked how come that's sitting out she said because you left it sitting there!!! LOL It WORKED BUT IN A NON-CONFRONTATIONAL WAY!!! you guys shouldn't stop talking over something like that!! Is there something else he does that annoys you, maybe you guys should talk with each other and find out whats going on!!

Answer 4

Alright, girl, I am going to give it to you straight up - you are not his mother. You must stop waiting on him hand and foot, no matter what the house will end up looking like. I tell ya, if you don't stop it now you may as well hang out your Molly Maid sign and collect money for it. My husband does things that drive me absolutely nuts too, but there is no way in hell I am going to pick up after him. Nope, I start to resent him too much and it interfers with everything else. Nor do I make him "honey to do" lists either. For some reason, me backing off has lead him to helping me more. I don't know why this works, but it does. Good luck.

Remember: those who anger you, control you. So don't let it anger you.

Answer 5

Leave it. You don't have to be his maid. If you find clothing on the floor designate it as unwanted and throw it into the trash. The next time you go to the store put the remote to the t.v. in your purse and deny deny deny that you know where it is.
All those sweet little things you do for him. Stop. It will take a while but he will soon figure it out.
Sometimes it also happens when there is sexual frustration in a marriage.

Answer 6

This sounds a little crazy. But let the dishes pile up, don't wash his clothes, etc, and just keep track of your own stuff. (Btw: don't let anyone come over....usually a dirty house looks bad on the woman no matter who is the messy one....ppl are still sexist about that kinda stuff). But yeah, let him get fed up and disgusted with the way the house is, tell him that the house needs to be cleaned, and when he expect you to help, explain that you've been keeping up with your mess (and have the habit to back that up, run the dishwaser, the washing machine - everything with just your stuff lol). He'll probably get mad, but suggest that if he wants a clean house, he needs to pick up after himself.

Answer 7

ask your self if you really want to work it out? if you do give it some time to let the pressure calm down.Then talk to him about it. don't yell or scream keep calm. talk. tell him how it makes you feel. i know its easy to say when we are not living it. but i have been there when a stupid argument like your juice bottle gets out of hand.look at the bigger picture. in five years will i still bother you that he doesn't put the juice away.If so you need to talk to him now.keeping it in will only make it explode later.
good luck to you.

Answer 8

Stop buying the juice.
When learns to put it away when he is done with it then buy it again.
Stop treating him like a king, he isn't.
Make him do for himself his laundry, picking up after himself, ect...
If you give him what he wants all the time, What does he have to work for?
Sounds like he has got his cake, ice cream, & cherry you need to hold some back.

Answer 9

well that sounds good you two need some time apart, and i know how u can get over a dumbass you committed to... yeah ummm go out with yo girls have some fun, dont break any commandments but dont hold back, u know, u will feel better once you wake up the next day

Answer 10

Quit doing stuff for him, like his laundry for example. I did this once. And when he asks you why, tell him (in a nice way) that you feel unappreciated, that you don't mind doing things for him but you don't like being taken for granted. Tell him that he needs to just pick up after himself like grown men should.