I really want to leave my husband, and deep down he knows there is no love left in our marriage, problem is he is not only very controlling he is a very angry man, even if he agreed I know for a fact he would hound me for ever, and I'm really afraid of what he could do.
2006-10-03 06:53:32 · 27 answers · asked by T 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There are three things you need to do RIGHT NOW:
1. Make an appt. to see a counselor; they can give you much better advice than anyone here online can.
2. Make an appt. to see an attorney; they will give you all the legal advice you need.
3. PACK YOUR BAGS AND GET OUT OF THERE. If your husband is that much of a monster, then you are endangering your life every second that you remain with him. Find a family member or friend who will put you up for awhile until you can think what to do next.
2006-10-04 04:14:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in your position but during my time, there were no laws to help, although the laws today are questionable . Battered women shelters ARE very good at helping you AND hiding you out, locating you somewhere else, and helping in any areas that is needed! I have a few friends who went this route and are still to this day living a better life due to these shelters. The number one thing to this is... DO NOT ( under any circumstance)CONTACT ANYONE!! You will know when it's safe enough to do so and your family will know you are safe also. I'm sure they rather know you are "gone" AND safe than "gone" AND dead! You have to have your mind made up and get this kind of help yourself. It is not as bad as you may think. I "KNOW" I would be dead if not for them! My ex-husband now never knew where I was nor my children. Just let your parents know you will do something to survive and be alive and when time comes, keep in touch BUT the first year or more(mainly more) NOTHING(unless you want him to find you, which I know you don't) You are to do what ever that shelter asks of you to stay alive! Hope this helps. Keeping you in my prayers!!
2006-10-03 14:09:44 · answer #2 · answered by GardenGirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the situation gets worse, contact the police department and file a restraining order against him. Besides, its best to leave him, because there's nothing there within the marriage and what's the point on maintaining a relationship with someone who doesn't love you back? You deserve a whole better than that and don't settle for anything less. Sure, it will be difficult to move on with your life without him, but you deserved to be loved.
2006-10-03 13:58:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Terri,
I'm sorry you're going through this. It could escalate into a very serious situation. If you decide to leave, do NOT tell your husband. You need to find a place to go hide away for a long time, long enough for him to get past the anger.
If you find a shelter, do not go to one in your area because that can be dangerous too.
If you have any fears, leave as soon as possible.
2006-10-03 13:57:53 · answer #4 · answered by Katyana 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Terri,
Well you need to get an escape plan put together... you will need to plan out where to go, some money, try to get in touch with the national domestic abuse hot-line... they can give help... and depending on the level of fear you may have to leave the area you live in. Do not wait forever... abuse is not a fun thing to be involved in. Do not tell him you want to leave as this might fuel more abuse. Be safe!
My heart goes out to you.
2006-10-03 14:08:01 · answer #5 · answered by Tricia P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel badly for you because the law won't do anything ntil he hurts you. Get your certification to carry a firearm. I know that sounds drastic, but a man that is angry fears nothing and the law can't help you. Sometime, you have to take matters into your own hands. Also, get a restraining order.
Good luck.
2006-10-03 13:57:40 · answer #6 · answered by Tonya L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are two ways to go about this. One is to get a good lawyer who can convince the court to file an order of protection against him. The other is to seek out an organization in your area that helps abused women escape their lives and start over.
2006-10-03 13:56:00 · answer #7 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there r just too many stories like that.well first be prepared.have more than 1 place that u can stay.preferbly places he dont know of course.next tell people about his anger and controlling ways that way if anything should happen people will know about him.next,if u really think he would try to hurt you,go to cops for restraining order.do you have kids.thats the real hard part cause he will use them to get to you.ask for supervised visits.u gotta be sneaky about it.take care and be safe.
2006-10-03 14:03:11 · answer #8 · answered by SINISTER MEMPHISTO 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would initally contact a womens abuse agency and seek advice. But if you have family living in different location, move to one location and seek an application to change your name and start over. Not to say you have to live int eh same town, but nearby possibly and have them be cautious and advice the local sherriff/police if he comes around. You just cant stay in that type of relatinship. Do Something!
2006-10-03 13:58:28 · answer #9 · answered by kevin T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get people you trust involved - your family/siblings/close friends/etc - they need to know whats going on. Get them to help you move out so you don't have to do it alone and maybe consider staying with one of them for a little while.
If you feel threatened then also make sure you get a restraining order.
2006-10-03 13:55:57 · answer #10 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋