Three months ago my husband ended a 6 month affair he had been having with an ex-coworker who lives about an hour away. I found emails in our computer that gave explicit details of their encounters. Needless to say, I was shocked. I thought we were totally happy! We have children together, the youngest one is 2. We are going to counseling together. He seems like a more caring man now and is more committed than ever to our marriage. The question he has yet to answer is...WHY? We have a great sex life, great social life. The bi*ch he cheated with is ugly and nasty looking so I know it wasn't physical attraction. She's older than me, and from reading her emails, she seems kinda stupid. The only thing he told me is that the chase was better than the catch, and I did nothing wrong, it was all him. I still do not understand, nor will I ever. Please help me out with this from a male pont of view. I NEVER thought I would be in this position.
2006-10-03 06:35:16 · 25 answers · asked by LadyLee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
5 years ago, I cheated on my wife. It almost destroyed our marriage and my life. Today we have 2 beautiful daughters and we've never been stronger.
So the question is WHY.
For me it was immaturity. It was the chase. It was thinking the grass was greener on the other side. All the old cliches.
Really it boiled down to out of control behavior on my part. It started with e-mail and snowballed into me moving out and living with a woman.
It started with an unhealthy view of sex and relationship. I had become an addict to porn when I was 14 and the affair was the culmination of the addiction cycle.
There isn't a day that goes by without a feeling of regret that of what I did to my wife and what I did to the other woman's life.
2006-10-03 06:53:15 · answer #1 · answered by GreenRoverMan 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When a man, or woman for that matter cheats, it's not always a sign of betrayal. We are all human and have daily battles with temptation throughout our lives. It's just left up to that individual to fight and win each battle, or to give in and lose...depending on his or her will. Men and women both cheat because something is missing from their primary relationship. Sex is not necessarily the only reason for a man or woman to stray. It may be that you are not providing the emotional support that the men in your life need.
A relationship cannot be based solely on how attractive one is, or how much they put out, or whether they cook or clean... there is more to a relationship. If the emotional piece is missing, chances are the intimacy (emotional) will be found outside of the relationship.
Also you may be a top model with an angels voice, cook like a top chef and be the ultimate lover but even that's not enough to stop some men from straying. It's the thoughts of a change, someone different, different experiences that make some men cheat. And if there is someone readily available it's so difficult not to take that opportunity. I'm not condoning this type of behavior at all but I hope this gives you a better insight into the why of it!
2006-10-03 07:15:42 · answer #2 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are a number of motives as to why a guy will cheat on a woman. a million) he won't be chuffed interior the relationship (wherein if he had a recommendations he might in simple terms get out of the relationship, yet adult men dont try this they cheat rather) 2) they see some thing or somebody it is extra valuable than what he has on the 2nd 3) do it on a dare from there friends 4) cant comint to a minimum of one lady in a relationship 5) the lady in his relationship is abusive and or jealous and gets a guy to ultimately prefer to chop up from 6) and so on..... there are a great style of motives as to why a guy might cheat on a woman. it rather is an identical way as to why a woman might cheat on her guy.
2016-10-15 11:37:10 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men like the excitement that affairs offer. After awhile, things at home get to be a routine and a guy wants to find something that will put a fire back into his pants. It's just the initial excitement that it creates. Do you remember the first couple of times that your husband and you had sex? All passion, wasn't it? Men love that raw passion feeling and it does not always last in marriage, that's why we cheat. I cheated on my wife because of the same reason, and I was truly sorry that I did but some times us guys let the head between our legs rule the head on our shoulders.
2006-10-03 06:41:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Women make men cheat. If women weren't willing to mess around with married men cheating would stop.
Just like married women. They cheat with men.
Why? No correct answer. Lust and the game of trying to do something without being caught. Kid stuff. Sound stupid and it is but men are really big kids.
Sorry it happened to you. Good luck trying to fix it.
Last. You didn't do anything wrong. Don't let anyone ever try to tell you that. Who does it is the one in the wrong. Not You.
2006-10-03 07:08:46 · answer #5 · answered by Mit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it has to do with how men are taught to see sex - it isn't really shown as something within a marriage, so most don't know how to have a healthy sex life with their spouse. Just look at the movies, every sexual act is shown between strangers, not between a couple that is comitted to each other.
2006-10-03 06:39:36 · answer #6 · answered by bregweidd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Babygirl, I don't know why he cheated on you. But I also believe that you have to live your life on eggshells. People often think that the grass is greener on the other side but indeed the grass was the same color and texture. Listen, you are special and he should treat you as such. I am not saying treat him like dirt but you know in your heart how and what should do.
2006-10-03 06:42:52 · answer #7 · answered by big_strong_one 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes guys just want a change, something different. Or it might have been the thrill of maybe getting caught. Usually its a physical thing. Just because you are hotter than she is doesnt mean he doesnt have a fettish for older women or something.
2006-10-03 06:40:06 · answer #8 · answered by xcaliber1117 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think i could be with my husband if he cheated on me, not to mention, for 6 months! He doesnt deserve you., or are you arfraid to leave him, maybe because you have it to good,are you a stay at home wife,and never work? well, any reason at all would never make me stay with a cheater. it's quite obvious that your husband has a low self esteem.
2006-10-03 06:42:43 · answer #9 · answered by jan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think some men can be totally happy with their love life but just want to sleep with other women just because their ******* nasty, it's just in their nature
2006-10-03 06:44:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋