Lawyers please! Can he do anything?

Question

My boyfriend was put in prison 17 years ago for attempted murder. It was a self defense thing. Anyhow my ex-husband is pitching a fit that I am with this guy and is threatening to take my son from me. My boyfriend is the nicest guy you'd ever meet. He treats me like a princess and adores my son. We've never been happier. He is no threat and has paid for his actions. He has been out 2 years. He has turned his life around and is making a good life for himself. Is there any way my ex-husband has a chance to take my son from me? He thinks the courts will side with him and everyone I've talked to says he doesn't have a leg to stand on.We do not live together. What do you think?

Answer 1

If your boyfriend is innocent as you claim, then he may be able to get a pardon. That would resolve your problem.

Otherwise, the fact that you consort with him should not affect your custody rights. But if he resides with you, you do risk this being taken into consideration as a matter of "the best interets of the child".

"Fairness" has very little to do with law. Bureaucrats are more afraid of being in the headlines in the event of tragedy than anything else. Be prudent, and consult with experts regarding the policy of your particular state and county.

It is true that one may easily be convicted in error. I have a library of "wrongful conviction" cases. That does not help those wrongly convicted, except to the extent that DNA today proves that witnesses perjured themselves, or were mistaken. That is unlikely to help your bf. Again: be prudent. You may have to decide between your bf and your son, within the limits of my second paragraph above.

Answer 2

It depends on the state and it may depend on the judge. You should first determine what court would hear your case based on where you reside. You should then find an attorney who has argued several family court matters in front of the family court judges and ask him to review your case. Sometimes it pays to ask more than one lawyer because their opinions can vary.

My personal opinion based on where I live is that your boyfriend has a valid reason to file a motion, however, he may not win. I think an attorney might tell you to keep it light for awhile with this boyfriend. Don't have him sleep over, don't leave him alone with your son and make sure that the dates are between you two and do not include your son. I think an attorney would feel safe arguing this situation to the courts.

If your boyfriend was not thought to be a threat and was thought to be acting in self-defense, he would not have served prison time. It may be that he has told you a different story than what was presented at the trial. It would probably be the responsible thing to do to read through the trial transcript or at least check out the case file from the court clerks. Because his self-defense story was not bought by the legal system, there is some suspicion that he may not be truthful. While you don't view him as a threat, I have a feeling that he may still be on parole and considered a threat by society. The court may feel that being "in love" may be clouding your judgment. Also remember that it is the same entity that put him away.

It is probably important to give this boyfriend some time to prove to you that he is everything you say he is. That he has turned his life around and has a reliable job will count. Also the event was 17 years ago. He may have had very good behavior in jail.

I can tell you that I do know of a case where a woman had custody of her children and then her boyfriend killed himself in her house (he had a bad reaction to a common medication and went beserk) and she lost custody. It took her a few years to regain custody.

Answer 3

I'm not a lawyer, but it's true that your ex cannot take your son away. Of course, not unless your son is in some kind of danger and he can prove it. Children are not easily taken away from their mothers. When you say "we do not live together" I suppose that's you and your boyfriend, my advice just keep it like that for a while longer and your ex will have even less "reasons" to take your son away. By the way, is your ex paying child support? 'cause if he is not the courts might just turn on him and say "by the way, since you are already here let's talk about the child support you owe." But even if that is not the case, unless he has some kind of proof that your son is in danger, like I said before than he doesn't have any grounds. Which is why I repeat, Keep the nice relationship with your boyfriend, but keep the boyfriend from living in the house, at least until things calm down and your ex gets over the fact that you have a new boyfriend. Good Luck!

Answer 4

The bottom line is that Judges are gonna do pretty much what they want to do.

That being the case, the object of the exercise in court is to persuade the Judge to see it your way. Bear in mind that all the Judge "knows" is what is presented, but the tendency in this kind of case is to NOT upset the child's life by altering custody.

Now, if your ex comes in and says something as preposterous as "she's secretly planning to become an astronaut and move the children to Mars!" and you don't bother to show up and refute it, there's a chance the Judge may rule against you even for something as ridiculous as that. They only know what someone tells them.

However, if you have a good idea beforehand what the ex will say (and with a good attorney, you will know EXACTLY what the ex will say), prepare for it, respond with facts, evidence, and otherwise demonstrate that the allegations that are not false are irrelevant to the child's welfare, the Judge probably won't change custody.

I would advise you to visit with an attorney on this matter, and keep one on Retainer. You may need someone you can call in the middle of the night if he decides to try to do this in an "emergency" hearing, which will mean you don't get much warning.

Answer 5

I'm not an attorney. But I can tell you this, your ex has the right to petition the court for a change in custody. However, and each state is different, whether you having an ex-con for a boyfiend is grounds for change of custody, that would be up to the court. (Contrary to the above post, Judges just don't do what they want, they have to follow the law.)

In Indiana, I think your ex would have to present a lot more compelling EVIDENCE to the court for custody to change. Is your boyfriend a threat to your son? Has he done anything to endanger your son? And that being said, could your ex prove the allegations in court.

But it is your husband's right to petiiton the court for a hearing on change of custody, whether the court will grant it, that's an entirely different matter.

I definitely believe you need an attorney. Until your ex files his Petition, keep really good notes of the days your ex exercises visitation/parenting time, the times your boyfriend is around your son, and the names of witnesses to anything unusual.

Good Luck.

Answer 6

It depends on how you ended up with custody in the divorce. Was it by consent or did the court rule that you were a better parent. Generally, however, to change physical custody he would have to show that you are an unfit parent and that it is in the best interest of your son not to live in your household. There is not enough information here to really assess that and you left out where you live which is important since the law varies from state to state.

Answer 7

Well....I would do the same thing he is doing to you. Let me explain, it's because he is a felon, you don't know what he is capable of. True some can change, but it is a limited amount. You have no idea who your man was while he was in jail or prison. Prison doesn't make christians out of many. I hope you had him tested for STD's when he got out. Your ex husband wants the best for his kid, and he has every right in the world to not want his son aorund a felon. Don't you want the best for your child? I have dated 1 guy who was in prison for GTA and assult, I learned my lesson with him, he seemed good and nice for about 2 months, then luckely I learned the truth

Answer 8

IM not a lawyer, but for your ex to get your child taken away from you, they have to be in a threatening situation, abused, or improperly supported. If you BF is living seperately and only occassionally comes over and there are not record of abuse, that dont have much to go on. Given the situation that it was self defence and your BF is already out, iot sounds like he is a nice guy and was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

The best thing for you to do is to consult a lawyer on this, since they are experts.

Answer 9

Your boyfriend is a felon. Dating a felon is NOT a crime, nor is living with one. Be cautious, however. Don't let him possess firearms, make sure he follows the terms of his release, etc. Your husband will probably not win a custody battle based solely on your private life, unless he can demonstrate that it contributes to you being an unfit parent. Again, be cautious.

Answer 10

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