Have you ever chosen to swallow your anger cause it was too dangerous to let it show?

Question

Have you ever been on a situation where you could not release your anger on the spot as it could be harmful to your personal safety? How have you handled that repressed anger later on? What is your opinion about the best thing to do on a situation like that?

Answer 1

Yes. Of course I do. Every day I do. :) Part of it is just my nature, I grew up with abusive parents, and so I hold back my anger in a sincere desire to not be violent and brutal like they were.

But part of it is really unhealthy too. Part of it is because I am a poor person, with a mental health problem or two, in a nation that by and large a) treats its poor people like utter trash, and b) insists on a "blame the victim" mentality in terms of wanting to *psychologize* every last problem we have--blaming *everything*, even real physical injuries, on "being crazy". Or on being lazy, or on having a "Character Flaw." Anything *but* actually looking at things at *face value* and actually letting people get help, get better and move on *on their own terms*.

But I digress. :) As you see I am a bit more open about things online, way more open actually, than I am in real life, where folks can see me, remember my face, hunt me down and *hurt me* perhaps. ;) Sound paranoid? Ask Matt Shepard sometime....oh, wait, you can't. He's dead, he got lynched for being gay in the late 20th century, didn't he? He got murdered for being different, for being "an abomination" in the eyes of the rabid inbred psycho sheeple around him.

But yes...I have anger, and I can never ever release it in a safe, healthy manner. I wish I knew of something to do. Because holding it inside hurts at this point, it literally makes me ill and keeps me from sleeping at nights and makes me sick to my stomach, to the point of losing meals. The stuff I used to do is rapidly becoming less and less effective.

--find some loud and aggressive music, turn it up, and "sing" (more like shout) along. I used to do this all the time but a) my neighbors are real touchy about noise issues, b) you need a decent stereo to do this with, which costs money, and c) current music these days, I'm sorry, it's all just too stupid for words, I wouldn't be caught dead having some of these "lyrics" leave my mouth....assuming they aren't censored into utter nonsense already for me by Wal-Mart.

--get my pillow off the bed, put it up to the wall, plant my face into it and *scream* my brains out directly into the pillow, until I run out of breath or get hoarse....good in the short term, but it doesn't quite muzzle the noise enough.

--take long walks....good if weather and physical condition permits. I am in a part of the country where the winters can get *nasty* with wind-chill issues though, so during the worst parts of the year for me, this isn't an option.

And yes, I know somebody will mention that Cognitive Behavioral crap (they always do). Feel free to ignore it. The problem with these people is that they assume (and some are paid *very well* to assume) that One Size Fits All, and that their rubber band around the wrist, and their dumbed-down little workbooks, can fix *every* problem, that they are all simple and *all* about applying a judicious amount of *denial and self-control*.

But with anger it doesn't turn out that way. With built up, pent up, unreleased anger, *extra* denial and *extra* control actually hurts *worse* in the long run. Oh sure, it makes the counselor's job easier and keeps people in the workforce a while longer and lines the HMOs pockets with *more money*, but when the extra control *snaps*, it snaps *extra hard*.

Say it with me...A Shackle IS a Shackle, Even When it is a Rubber Band and Not a Handcuff. ;)

There have to be better ways than just using a rubber band around the wrist and a workbook of slogans and "bury it under vocabulary" tactics. :)

I just wish I knew some better answers for you. Thanks for your time!

Answer 2

I'm a hot head and I know it hun. I have a lot of repressed anger as it is against my beliefs to harm anyone. I usually come home, and take it out on my poor pillow or scream very loudly. I've broken several vases, cups, glasses and such against the walls, but its far healthier in my opinion than spending a year in prision for assualt and battery don't ya think?

Answer 3

Yes, I've had to hold my tongue a few times. There are two things that help later on. The first one is easy. You vent out your anger to a neutral friend or relative. The other one is walking. The madder I get, the brisker I walk until eventually I'm back to a light stroll.

Answer 4

usually it's when i'm at work. i work in hotels and it can be very frustrating and madnening with my executive committee, associates and the guests. i just let have to hold it in and then usually i'll go out into the parking garage when i canto the 10th or 6th floor depending on time and walk down. i let it go....when i get back in - it's done and over. you can't let it get to you. if you do you can really mess with your system. i have been in the industry for over 20 years now and have run into some serious health complications before i started to let it go. not to start preaching but my faith helps alot. i'll think of Christ and how nothing of what i'm going through is anything compared to His. I'll pray that He helps me be more like His mom - loving, patient and fully committed to Him. it helps and by the time i get to the bottom of the garage - mercy me - things are better. somtimes they are not and them it's a walk around a golf course with a good friend or two or three and we take turns venting. just don't hold it in - you can seriously damage your self!!

Answer 5

I’d suggest some sort of vigorous exercise such as jogging or cycling or working out in a gym until you feel better.

Answer 6

If you can answer with the truth with gentlenss, you are a man, my son. Is that a Kipling quote?


God's Gospel:

"For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;" Romans 3:23

"For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." Romans 6:23

"But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

"That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation." Romans 10:9-10

Answer 7

yes. the best thing to
do is keep trying until you
get it right, and pray you don't
die in the process.

if your pursuit is right, i pray
you succeed.

godspeed 2u