We have a great relationship and agree with most major issues except for this one. What to do in this situation?
2006-10-03 04:51:27 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Make sure that this question is answered before you get married! Also make sure that your fiancee knows exactly how you feel so that she has the opportunity to decide what she want as well.
It's my opinion that many marriages wouldn't survive something large like that. It can lead to all kinds of resentment and regret and dissapointment down the road.
Be honest with each other and see where to go from there.
2006-10-03 04:56:35 · answer #1 · answered by JJJJJ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a sticky situation. You guys really need to talk about this. Because the fact that you don't want kids might be a problem down the road in your marriage. Both of you need to come to some agreement or understanding. If he wants kids that bad that it will affect your marriage then I would hit the brakes on the "I do", because "You Don't" want kids. And this is a major issue because kids change everything, believe me. There's a lot to balance with being a mother and a wife. And you can't take that back. Don't get into the marriage and then get reluctant to have kids. Go into it strong with a clear and ideal mind.
2006-10-03 04:59:06 · answer #2 · answered by Dr. PHILlis (in training) 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it is bad for a marriage. i did not want kids an the 1st was an accident an he is the best thing in my life. then i had a daughter. when u r young u do not think about u having a kid but after u have them u do not know what u did before it is the best feeling in the world. my best friend was told she could not have kids at 32 she became pregnant an was not happy. she almost did not have him. now he is 5 month an see feels so happy she decided to keep him. it is really a feeling no one can explain to u. but do not be upset with him if he wants kids talk it out an decide what is best for both of u.
2006-10-03 04:59:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, don't get married until you agree. If you go into a marriage knowing that one wants children and the other does not -- how can that be resolved? One person must change their mind. I wouldn't want to enter a marriage hoping that the other person changes their mind and eventually agrees with me. Marriage is hard enough when you agree on the large issues, let alone when you don't.
2006-10-03 04:54:25 · answer #4 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, that can be a major deal-breaker. Having kids is one of the most, if not the most, important aspect of being married. If the couple doesn't agree on whether to have kids or not it could breed a lot of resentment down the road. With no kids he'll resent you, and with kids you'll resent him.
Be careful and really talk this one out - don't leave it hanging.
FP
2006-10-03 05:06:52 · answer #5 · answered by F. Perdurabo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be if its something that he really does want and you dont. If neither one of you think will change your minds its something that will cause you to argue and grow a part. If his mind is set on having a child and hearing himself being called daddy and just imagines being a father and that excites him but you are like no no no them you are stopping him from his dream of parenthood. If you give in just because he wants one thats not going to be good for anyone either. You might resent the child and your husband because its not what you wanted. Id talk more about it with each other and see where you think you will be in the next couple of yrs.
2006-10-03 04:56:49 · answer #6 · answered by Kelli C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is definetly a reason to call off the wedding. Two people must agree when it comes to the issue of children. If you don't break it off now, you will more than likely be going through a divorce later. Good luck.
2006-10-03 04:54:16 · answer #7 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep in mind that situations change and people change over time.
A person who definately does NOT want kids today may change their mind in 3 or 5 years.....for lots of reasons.
The two of you need to agree that you will not have kids until BOTH of you can feel absolutely committed to the idea.
And if it never happens......well you both need to be prepared for that too.
2006-10-03 04:58:10 · answer #8 · answered by Puzzler 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a huge issue that won't just go away. Get it finalized so that you both are happy with the decision, not just tolerant of the decision. If you can't agree, don't get married. And make sure you are on the pill, baby.
2006-10-03 04:56:08 · answer #9 · answered by daj11551 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see a Major problem getting ready to come about this. This could stop your marriage... wanting kids and not wanting kids... first of all do you think that his wanting them will ever change? Or are you willing to change for him?
2006-10-03 04:56:47 · answer #10 · answered by Tricia P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋