We are separated geographically by the military so I can't watch him the traditional way. I'm not the jealous or suspicious type but on his most recent visit home he acted strangely and kept talking about another married woman that "he only thinks of like a sister." His grooming habits changed, he has lost weight, etc. A lot of signs that point to it. He was sugary sweet and devoted to me while he was home - more than usual. We have two children in elementary school. If he is cheating, I don't know if I want to salvage the marriage but not knowing is eating me alive.
2006-10-03 04:45:42 · 23 answers · asked by Steelblueangel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ask him about it, but be very modest and do it as his guy friend will do.
If it happens that he is truly cheating on you and tells you about it, do not a big deal about it because he will not trust you the next time you confront him with such serious and important issue.
He might have his reason why so please understand him, even though I know it hurt very much I think you should give him the chance to explain if it does happens that truly he is cheating or seeing somebody else.
The reason why he might be hiding it if it is true he is having an affair is that he loves and cares about you and Iam sure he will not want to lose you or else he would have being making it public by now.
But hope he is not but just.
2006-10-03 07:28:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think it's reasonable for you to believe he's cheating:
* He spends a lot of time away from you (which leads to emotional distance automatically unless one works at things).
* He talks a lot about a married woman, and specifically feels like he has to add a disclaimer because he realizes what he's doing sounds suspect.
* His habits and appearance have changed.
Those are big indicators.
Ironically, the "sugary sweet" act actually could go either way, and I'm not sure what to make of it.
- He could be trying to cover up his cheating, by acting nice.
- He could actually miss you and the kids that much, after being away for so long.
- He could feel guilty for his cheating and is trying to "make up" for it unconsciously.
You would know better than me how to read it.
To change the subject just slightly, you actually sound more curious than torn up by the fact that he's cheating -- more like someone deciding whether to let a roommate stay or to throw them out of the apartment. There's not a lot of emotion coming across about the possibility of your marriage ending.
So, even if he's not cheating, it sounds like his constant being away from home has been slowly eroding your relationship.
If you decide to keep the marriage intact, you both would do well to see what you can change -- either your location, or his assignment, or a change of career, or the amount and way you communicate -- so that you two can grow together rather than apart.
Hope things work for you all.
2006-10-03 05:12:57 · answer #2 · answered by Jennywocky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask the perfect question "Is there something going on with you I should know about?" Definitely confront him with your suspicions. The sooner the better for your own sanity. Talk it out. If you love him and wish to salvage the marriage, perhaps you should try working it out between you or go to counseling. His grooming habits and weight loss may have a lot to do with the fact that he's in the military.
Good luck.
2006-10-03 05:58:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without any proof it's going to be tough to prove that he's cheating. You should try to catch him yourself before saying anything. And if he was talking about a woman whose like a sister, then how come you, his wife, has never met her? Check his phone out next time he's around. If there's any phone calls that are late or show up repeatedly, then block the number and give it a call to see who it is. And if it's a woman then confront her and get the details of this affair. Then you can leave him b/c you now have proof.
2006-10-03 05:01:26 · answer #4 · answered by Rica 82 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u feel some thing is wrong just play it cool an catch him. u can find a way. think it out, plan good an have a another reason for u being there if he catches u. u have to really think ahead. i did not even think my husband was cheating an one day out of the blue he walked out. now i see it was the best thing that could of happened,but we did not have kids. it is good to stay to gather because of the kids. i teach school an u see so many broken homes. i wish u the best.
2006-10-03 04:52:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you desire to keep your marriage or no longer? in case you desire to salvage it, then get into marriage counseling. in case you will somewhat be performed with it then legally separate. (In some states you're able to be separated X form of months until now you may report for divorce.) people without experience of right and incorrect basically can not wrap their brains around the way it feels to be betrayed. They parent in the event that they're over it, so could you. in spite of the undeniable fact that it does not paintings that way. they do no longer seem to care which you're harm or are disappointed in them. in the experience that your husband basically does not care the type you experience approximately it and has never somewhat shown an experience sorry approximately or apologized, then he will possibly cheat back.
2016-10-18 10:10:34 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let it play for a bit (u never know u may be wrong) and if u keep on getting more and more signs then just slightly confront him on it. and i dont mean "Wat the hell u think u doin cheating on me" i mean just catch him at a good moment and say "Hey honey(or watever) u know that if u ever wanted to go with another woman, just tell me and we'll work it out, right?" and then if he says he's cheatin, then u can kick his ***. But always look in his eyes wen u ask if he's cheatin.
2006-10-03 04:53:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I found this totally awesome site to go to. it's www.womansavers.com go there. You can rate the men in your life and look up men you know, maybe another woman on there knows him and has rated him. It also has great ideas on how to catch a cheater. It's free on top of it all! really, look into it! I honestly, would give him enough rope to hang himself. Trust what you feel...you normally will be right.
2006-10-03 04:52:32 · answer #8 · answered by Ashley D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry. I feel for you. You need to come out and ask him. Tell him he's acting/looking different....maybe he's scared you're cheating? Mabye it's his way of hiding that fear. BUT you need to talk to him. I couldn't imagine going through that. You're a strong woman. You deserve a faithful loving man.
2006-10-03 04:50:13 · answer #9 · answered by inlovewow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rather than wring your hands over something as stupid as this....I'd be more concerned that he doesn't get blown all over Iraq into tiny, little cosmic bits or end up coming home in a wheelchair minus his legs.
But ahhh.....never mind. Why worry over silly stuff like that? Your concern about his suspected but unverified affair is much more important.
2006-10-03 05:06:13 · answer #10 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋