I'm Not Saying I Cannot Accept Him But I Know It Wont Ever Be The Same Again. I Cant Be Freinds With Him. It Will Be Weird. We Were In Town Last Week And I Spotted A Lush Lad. I Said ' He's Gorgeous' and JACK Agreed! What Should I Do??
2006-10-03 04:43:26 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
as long as he is happy its not for you to do any thing. If he is your friend them you shouldn't even be asking this question.
2006-10-03 04:56:50 · answer #1 · answered by careermom18 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to get over it eventually. of course for you its hard at first but as the months go by, you'll be okay. you have to. i kind of understand why you feel this way: the fact that you've had a crush on this guy for some time and who was and still is your best friend-only to discover from him he is gay. yet you have to move on with your life. you say it won't ever be the same again now that he has admitted to you he is homosexual, but let's face it- if you care about your friend so much and you are willing to support him no matter what, then you would have to accept that being gay is his decision that he has made. you will eventually find someone else who will offer you the same love, trust and respect that jack has given to you. you also have to understand that when a man decides to come out of the closet or tells you he is gay, no matter how tempted you may be to get involved with him romantically, that in itself is not going to happen. but still be his friend, i'm sure he'll appreciate this still from you. hang out with each other, enjoy yourselves, you both share effeminate qualities, both of you are attracted to men, but still keep doing the things you both love doing together as friends.
besides, there is, as the saying goes, plenty more fish in the sea and you'll eventually find the one you love and cherish as your boyfriend later on in life.
2006-10-04 09:35:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were a real friend, Jack's sexual orientation wouldn't phase you one bit. If you aren't used to being around someone who is out of the closet, it can be different at first. Like anything else, you get used to whatever you are exposed to regularly. Personally, I have a couple of guy friends who are out of the closet and they are great. I certainly wouldn't trade them for an uptight, judgemental straight friend. Gay or not, people are people. We all love, feel sadness, have family problems, go to work (hate our boss), etc..... To treat someone that you claim was your friend differently because you found out that he is attracted to men is just sad.
If I was you, I would tell your friend that this is all new to you and ask him some questions. Talking about something can open your eyes and make you feel less "Weird" about it. Perhaps he was nervous about sharing this with you, his best friend. Imagine the hurt he will experience if you turn your back on him. It sounds to me that you aren't as accepting as you think you are.
2006-10-03 05:00:51 · answer #3 · answered by sunnygirl1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why? whats changed? he is still the same person as he was before you found out, he hasn't suddenly grown horns or developed the plaque has he?
you say that you were best friends, well best friends normally stand by each other no matter what,
and i'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but if you really feel like that, then you are not a best friend and he would proberbly be better off without you, and with someone else who likes and accepts him for who he is and not what he is.
2006-10-04 00:21:05 · answer #4 · answered by mythmagicdragon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh grow up. Why can't you be friends with him? He is still the same person he was before you found out about his sexuality just now you can be more open with him and vice versa, poor guy it must have been killing him that you didn't know about how he felt, you should be honoured that he respected and trusted you enough to be himself with you.
Sexuality is only one part of a person's personality. How would you feel if he turned round t oyou and said 'urggh, you're straight, I don't think I can be your friend now'? Friendship is about trust and sharing the good and the bad times not about who you fancy!
2006-10-03 04:51:02 · answer #5 · answered by Leapling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulate him on his excellent taste...
Be his friend, or don't - but it isn't his actions that makes you question things, it's YOUR inability to accept that your friends have the right to make choices without you passing judgement.
He hasn't changed, he was still the same person he was in that very last split second before he gathered his courage enough to trust you with the truth about himself. He came to you in utter trust and friendship, and now you're rejecting him for wanting to be that close to you. At a time when he needs support and unconditional love from those he feels closest to.
Think about those things, think about who he has always been and what about him makes him a friend you wanted in your life in the first place... I doubt it was because you needed him to be a friend because he wouldn't ever be a rival for the same hot guy!
Cheers & good luck
2006-10-03 06:44:27 · answer #6 · answered by dworld_1999 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
realize that your saying you can't be his friend because he is gay no how would you feel if he didn't want to spend time with you because your straight. most of my male friends are gay and although it was wierd at first and my boyfriends always get jealous, it's pretty neat to have a male and almost a female point of view in certain situations plus if your out and a guy is hitting on you that you don't find interesting "jack" can be your pretend boyfriend to get you out of that situation, but whatever you do don't let people's predjudice get in the ay of a friendship!
2006-10-03 04:53:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why can't you still be Friends with him?I have a few gay friends and there are great fun to be with. I think you should accept him for what he is and just carry on, he is just the same person as he was before he told you his news. He told you because he thought that you could handle what he had to tell you but you just can't. You have to tell him the truth why you can't be friends with him anymore but I don't think that is what you really want to do.
2006-10-03 04:51:15 · answer #8 · answered by GaryUKB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean what do you do? Why does it matter that he's gay? Why should his sexual preference matter to you? Your obviously not sleeping with him right? Trust me having a gay guy friend is AWSOME! They are the best to shop with. And he's not a different person now that you know he's gay. He's still the same guy that will never change. Dont sweat it.
2006-10-03 05:04:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some of my best mates are gay and I am married it does not change the person and you can probably talk to him better than your girlfriends. There is nothing wrong with him having the same taste as you. Go with it girl and be there for him
2006-10-03 09:33:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, why not try to see it as a cool thing! I would love to have a gay friend. Hopefully not be attracted to him! I think a gay guy combines the qualities of a girl friend (and eliminates the nasty parts) and the cool stuff of a boy friend.. sexual orientation does't count unless you want him as a partner... which i suppose u don't, so he's kinda cool, celebrate diversity... thumbs up for your pal!
2006-10-03 05:01:14 · answer #11 · answered by viziata 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋