I just feel so bad. I can't get a girlfriend. But yet I don't know if I should have one, HELP!!?

Question

Read this reason why I will never have a girlfriend. Tell me if you think I'm hopless after this. I just don't wanna chase girls all my life and end up with nothing in the end. PLEASE READ.
(yeah i will run out of room it this post so I will add to it...)

Many men try to reason their way through the dilemma nonetheless, often reaching a series of ridiculous explanations, each more self-deprecating than the last: "Is it because I'm too shy, and not aggressive enough? Is it my opening lines? Am I a boring person? Am I too fat or too thin? Or am I simply ugly and completely unattractive to women?" When all other plausible explanations have been discounted, most fall back on the time-honoured conclusion that "there must be Something Wrong with me" before resigning themselves to lives of perpetual chastity.

While I'll be the first to admit that my chances of ever entering into a meaningful relationship with someone special are practically non-exisent...

I staunchly refuse to admit that it has anything to do with some inherent problem with me. Instead, I am convinced that the situation can be readily explained in purely scientific terms, using nothing more than demographics and some elementary statistical calculus.
Lest anyone suspect that my standards for women are too high, let me allay those fears by enumerating in advance my three criteria for the match. First, the potential girlfriend must be approximately my age — let's say 21 plus or minus three or four years. Second, the girl must be beautiful (and I use that term all-encompassingly to refer to both inner and outer beauty). Third, she must also be reasonably intelligent — she doesn't have to be Mensa material, but the ability to carry on a witty, insightful argument would be nice. So there they are — three simple demands, which I'm sure everyone will agree are anything but unreasonable.
That said, I now present my demonstration of why the probability of finding a suitable

candidate fulfilling the three above-noted requirements is so small as to be practically impossible — in other words, why I will never have a girlfriend. I shall endeavour to make this proof as rigorous as the available data permits. And I should note, too, that there will be no statistical trickery involved here; I have cited all my sources and provided all relevant calculations3 in case anyone wishes to conduct their own independent review. Let's now take a look at the figures.
Number of people on Earth (in 1998): 5 592 830 000 [WP98, Table A-3]
We start with the largest demographic in which I am interested — namely, the population of this planet. That is not to say I'm against the idea of interstellar romance, of course; I just don't assess the prospect of finding myself a nice Altairian girl as statistically significant. Now anyway, the latest halfway-reliable figures we have for Earth's population come from the United States Census Bureau's 1999 World Population Profile [WP98].

Due presumably to the time involved in compiling and processing census statistics, said report's data is valid only as of 1998, so later on we'll be making some impromptu adjustments to bring the numbers up to date.
…who are female: 2 941 118 000 [WP98, Table A-7]
I'd've thought that, given the title of this essay, this criterion goes without saying. In case anyone missed it, though, I am looking for exclusively female companionship. Accordingly, roughly half of the Earth's population must be discounted. Sorry, guys.
…in "developed" countries: 605 601 000 [WP98, Table A-7]
We now further restrict the geographical area of interest to so-called "first-world countries". My reasons for doing so are not motivated out of contempt for those who are economically disadvantaged, but rather by simple probability. My chances of meeting a babe from Bhutan or a goddess from Ghana, either in person or on the Internet, are understandably low. In fact, I will most likely spend nearly my entire

entire life living and working in North America, Europe, and Australia, so it is to these types of regions that the numbers have been narrowed.
…currently (in 2000) aged 18 to 25: 65 399 083 [WP98, Tables A-3 & A-7]
Being neither a pedophile nor a geriatrophile, I would like to restrict my search for love to those whose age is approximately equal to my own. This is where things get a bit tricky, for two reasons: first, the census data is nearly two years old, and second, the "population by age" tables in [WP98] are not separated into individual ages but are instead quantized into "15–19" (of whom there are 39 560 000) and "20–44" (population 215 073 000). Women aged 15 to 19 in 1998 will be aged 17 to 21 in 2000; in this group, I'm interested in dating those 18 or older, so, assuming the "15–19" girls' ages are uniformly distributed, we have

Similarly, of 1998's "20–44" category, there are now

females within my chosen age limit. The sum, 66 059 680, represents the total number of females aged 18 to 25 in developed countries in 2000. Unfortunately, roughly 1% of these girls will have died since the census was taken;4 thus, the true number of so-far eligible bachelorettes is 65 399 083.
…who are beautiful: 1 487 838
Personal attraction, both physically and personality-wise, is an important instigator of any relationship. Of course, beauty is a purely subjective trait whose interpretation may vary from person to person. Luckily it is not necessary for me to define beauty in this essay except to state that for any given beholder, it will probably be normally distributed amongst the population.5 Without going into the specifics of precisely which traits I admire, I will say that for a girl to be considered really beautiful to me, she should fall at least two standard deviations above the norm. From basic statistics theory, the area to the left of the normal curve at z = 2 is

and so it is this number with which we multiply our current population pool.
…and intelligent: 236 053
Again, intelligence can mean different things to different people, yet I am once more relieved of making any explanation by noting that it, like most other characteristics, has a notionally normal distribution across the population. Let's assume that I will settle for someone a mere one standard deviation above the normal; in that case, a further

of the population must be discounted.
…and not already committed: 118 027
I could find no hard statistics on the number of above-noted girls who are already married, engaged, or otherwise committed to a significant other, but informal observation and anecdotal evidence leads me to believe that the proportion is somewhere around 50%. (Fellow unattached males will no doubt have also noticed a preponderance of girls legitimately offering, "Sorry, I already have a boyfriend" as an excuse not to go on a date.) For reasons of morality

(and perhaps too self-preservation), I'm not about to start hitting on girls who have husbands and boyfriends. Accordingly, that portion of the female population must also be considered off-limits.
…and also might like me: 18 726
Naturally, finding a suitable girl who I really like is no guarantee that she'll like me back. Assuming, as previously mentioned, that personal attractiveness is normally distributed, there is a mere 50% chance that any given female will consider me even marginally attractive. In practice, however, people are unlikely to consider pursuing a relationship with someone whose looks and personality just barely suffice. Let's make the rather conservative assumption, then, that a girl would go out with someone if and only if they were at least one standard deviation above her idea of average. In that case, referring to our previous calculation, only 15.8655%

of females would consider someone with my physical characteristics and personality acceptable as a potential romantic partner.
Conclusion
It is here, at a pool of 18 726 acceptable females, that we end our statistical analysis. At first glance, a datable population of 18 726 may not seem like such a low number, but consider this: assuming I were to go on a blind date with a new girl about my age every week, I would have to date for 3493 weeks before I found one of the 18 726. That's very nearly 67 years. As a North American male born in the late 1970s, my life expectancy is probably little more than 70 years, so we can safely say that I will be quite dead before I find the proverbial girl of my dreams. Come to think of it, she'll probably be dead too.

So there you have it, my friends — finally, a cogent, scientific, non-self-deprecating argument for why I will never have a girlfriend.

That said, if you happen to be a girl deluded enough to think that you and I have a chance together, feel free to drop me a line, but I warn you, you face odds of 157 060 to 1. I wouldn't bother if I were you.



THANKS FOR READING
IF YOU DIDN'T READ ALL OF THIS PLEASE GO BACK AND READ ALL OF IT!!!! THANKS!!! DO YOU THINK I HAVE A CHANCE???

Yeah I'm also homeschooled and go to church. Take the statisic and you have 2 girls that will fit at my church. The rest will be ugly or something. One will like me but nothing will never come of it. The second one will like me for a short time. So I have one girl that something will come out of and it will last a short time.

Love stinks. Oh well I'm 14 and my love life always was over and is over and will be over. Oh well, guess I'm gonna be lazy. I can always have the govermtent pay me, welfare...

when I put my age was 21 up there i made a typo i'm actually 14

Answer 1

maybe you will never have a gf

Answer 2

No, Yale is a great school. I went to college way back when without ever having a girlfriend, most girls in my school were stuck-up and full of themselves, and I didn't need a "liability" at the time. So, I focused on getting into the best college possible and started "dating" 1 week into my freshman year in college. Don't stress it, some people just don't have the best of luck in it.

Answer 3

what you need to do is either stay single or go out there and find someone that you can talk to easily and get a long with just don't feel too bad I have had those moments too. But I can say that the reason I am single is because I choose to be until I can find someone that I want to go out with but there are times where I wish there was some more men attracted but I relized in those times that it was my fault, I wasn't being outgoing enough and hell I don't have any problem with my looks I just needed to get over being shy and I have had a lot of guys interested lately but I still say no.. so try being single for a while or just get to the point where you don't want to be alone but you aren't feeling sorry for yourself. You could probably be really irresistable if you tried (but don't try too hard)

Answer 4

I don't know where this is really going but, since you have already predicted that you will fail, you are 100% correct.

Just because a relationship doesn't last forever doesn't mean you should not have had it. When I am suffering the pain of a break-up I wonder why I ever bothered, but then somewhere down the line I realize I learned a lesson. God put me there for a reason--like someone taught me something I needed to know to help me be the person God wants me to be, or maybe I taught them something, and sometimes I think it was both. I don't think God micro-manages, but he does guide us. Try predicting the outcome you really want. Have faith! May God bless you.

OK, yes you do have a chance because many of your assumptions are faulty and you fail to account for the fact that you will change over time.

Answer 5

i am a lady and really the worst thing that you can do is come up to me, already having a negative attitude towards yourself; thing is I will feel it and really no one wants to go out with a guy who has a low self concept of themselves.

what i would say to you is that you have not met the right person yet so really relax and start by getting in touch with yourself and have a relationship with God and just realise happiness for yourself through being with God and realising just how much he loves you unconditionally and when you reach a place where you feel absolutely happy in your own skin, only through Christ, can you go out and look for the one.

I believe that relationships should be for two whole people coming together in their wholeness into being one1 I also believe that one shouldn't get ihnto a relationship looking for fullfilment and joy and what ahve you, but one should get into one to give out that which they already have; and really you cannot expect a human being to give you what only God can give you; so man find happiness and fulfillment foryourself in God first then you will see how attractive you will be to the opposite sex. It really is that easy!!!!! Trust god with everything and try him and see if he wouldn't do this for you!

Answer 6

dont worry you will find someone and stick to your standards there reasonable. dont them slide though your never be truley happy with some one my parents didnt meet until they were 26 which my dad didnt have a girlfriend before hand and they have been happily married for almost 26 years now so stick in there. There is nothing wrong with you

Answer 7

try not 2 over think your dillema. of cours you should have one if you want one, but you don't need one as bad as you mite think you do. men find ways to adapt themselvs to any girl they go out with. it doesnt have to be that way. be yourself and you'll find a girl who likes you for who you are. if you can respect a woman, and show her you're independantly stable(mentaly&financialy). you got a shot. even if you're crazy about a girl you just met, act like you have other options. girls dont like desperate.and they can smell it in a second. on dates talk about family and pets and things you like. avoid money and gossip and negative things. GOOD LUCK

Answer 8

Well try to show girls that you are a guy that a girl needs in her life. It's just like me and my boyfriend, he shows me that I am a girl that needs a good guy in her life. Oh my gosh I miss my boyfriend.

Answer 9

Boy :-), you have too much fears.*Life,Love, Relationship are the lessons that we need to learn to be able to get rid of fears. then you will be a fearless man who live happily :-)

Answer 10

I need a headache pill

Answer 11

first: It **IS** a problem with you. once you accept it, you can start to deal with it.

Second: You talk too friggin much.