Can anyone give me some advice on something?

Question

Okay, my boyfriend and I broke up well over 5 months ago and we just got back together yesterday. But the problem is I need to tell my mom and she didn't like him or the things that he did when we were together. So, I don't know how to tell her that we're back together becasue I'm afraid of the reaction she might have and she also said that she never wants him to step foot in our house again, she said that when we broke up so I'm stuck. If anyone could give me some advice I would highly apperciate it! Thanks in advance.

Answer 1

I would approach your mom and say "mom, remember when you told me you didn't want (b/f) to step foot in this house again? Well, I have to tell you we're back together again and have decided to give each other another try. I know how you feel about him mom, but please respect my decision because I want to try and make things work."

Answer 2

Not being sure how old you are or of the details of why your mom doesn't want him in her house, I can only suggest that you be mature about it If you live with your mother then you have to respect her wishes just ask that she respect yours to be with him. Most importantly, if you are serious and you want to be taken seriously you have got to stand fim. Let your mom know that you are coming into your own and a big part of that is making your own decisions and living with the outcome. If you act unsure and scared you mother may not respect you or your decision. Nip it in the bud and admit that it may be making a mistake but it is yours to make (say it before she does and take away the opportunity for her to say "I told you so" just in case). Also, stop telling your mom everything. Even though she may be helpful at times, a hard lesson in becoming a woman is that you have to be very careful of what you say to anybody about your relationship especially mom, becuase she wants to be the supportive girlfriend and the protective mother all at the same time and that may prove to be very difficult especially when you tell her bad stuff and then go back to him.

Answer 3

First you need to make certain that you and your boyfriend has resolved everything. Then this way when telling your mother, that you are back with your boyfriend...you can assure her that you guys have resolved your problems. Explain to her how you feel about your boyfriend, and that you appreciate her being protective of her feelings. But at the same time you don't want to ruin a mother/daughter relationship over something that you choose to do. You don't ever want to put into a situation where you have to choose between you mother and your companion. It's not fare to you, your mother, or your boyfriend. Sometime we all make mistakes, put assure her that he's in it for the long haul. Now, unless the relationship is phyical, then you shouldn't be with him. Other than that, I believe that everyone deserves a chance to correct there mistakes. If God didn't give us that chance, then we all would be going to hell.
Do what your heart is telling you what to do. Sometime is how we say things, not what we say.

Answer 4

You need to give your mother the respect she's entitled to, and tell her. Tell her in a nice, calm relaxed atmosphere as well. No attitude, no fighting, just talking. I say this because I was in a position years ago that escalated to domestic violence and an exhusband I am still fighting in court to this day (three years later and 9 yrs in a controlling relationship). You may want to ask your mother what she doesn't like and heed the answer she gives you. ask yourself after she's talked with you, why are you back with him. Are her fears of him, her anger over what he's done in the past TRULY valid or is she just a protective mom? Remember that mom's have a "sense" of something not being the best for their kids...you may want to pay CLOSE attention to what she says. Good luck!

Answer 5

Oh girl this is a dilemma! When moms say she doesn't like your man and doesn't want him in her house, you're just going to have to obey that rule. I know it's hard because it's not like your mother is dating him. But a loving mother always know what's good for their children. Even though you love this man, if he did not treat you right the first time, watch your back the 2nd. Because I believe in giving people 2nd chances, but mothers know best! You're going to have to learn your lesson the hard way if your man hasn't changed. But why would you even want to put yourself in that position? There are so many single available men out in this world. Aren't you tired of the same old problems? You need some new ones honey! It would great not to have any problems at all. But you know there are no perfect relationships out here. And if someone tells you otherwise, they're lying! Just take one day at a time. When you tell your mother, ease the words out slowly!

Answer 6

hahahaha not laughing at you but my mom said the samething about my boyfriend I was like damn he didnt do anything to you! but The best advice I can give you is to live you own life. Do what makes you happy cause if I would have given up my boyfriend casuse my mom didnt like him I would be miserable. Im 26 and she still tries to tell me who is good and who is not oh well things never change. I am happy and she is coming around! She lets him hang out with my younger brother and everything now even take him places and trust me she hated him before. So time heals all wounds and she may never love him but she loves you and that makes all the difference

Answer 7

Wow, that sounds exactly how my situation was a couple months ago.

I broke up with my bf (of 5 yrs.) about 1 year ago, we just recently got back together 1 month ago. My mother also hated him and told me she didn't ever want me to get hurt again so she didn't want him in her house also. I talked with my mother and told her that I had missed and felt miserable without him, after our long discussion she came to understand my situation. She's just worried about you, as all mother's are, but she will step down if she feels it's what you want. If your mother is as understanding as mine is, given a little time, she will be there for you.

Answer 8

Well, the first thing is, what did he do before that make your mom dislike him so much? And did he change those actions or behaviors, if he did, then if he really wants to be with you, he'll prove to your mom that he's not that person anymore. If it's not worth it to him to do that, then he's not worth it. It might be hard to let go and you may really want to be with him again, but your mom might be right about him, if he's changed then great, but if he's really the same guy, maybe you should re-think getting back with, just as long as your doing it for the right reasons and not because you don't want to be alone, or it's convenient to be with him. One more thing........people change because they see a problem with themselves, not because other people want them to, if they do it for that reason then the change is only temporary...

Answer 9

Being in a similar situation, take your time when telling your parents. If need be, let them know slowly that you are talking with your ex again, but leave it at that. Your parents want you to be happy and not to be hurt. If there was any mis-trust, that will need to be established again and that won't happen over night. Ease them into it. I couldn't tell my family that I had gotten back together with my ex for a while, knowing that they did not trust her, but eventually, once they realized that I was happy and things were different, they accepted her...but it wasn't over night.

Answer 10

It's easy to look back and see how wonderful soemone was when they really weren't. Maybe you should take another look at this guy and try to see just what about him your Mom doesn't like. Besides, if you're still living at home, how important could this guy be in your life?