We have been engaged since march of 2005 and we have a daughter together. i haven't seen him in six months and he finally moved down here. we used to live together but when i had our daughter i had to move. now he lives with a friend of his 45 min away and his friend wants to take him to a strip club should i let him go? i dont think its right. and im starting to loose faith in him and trust him less...
2006-10-03 03:52:31 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
we had to move out of the apartment when she was born because he was on parole and house arrest and that was a violation of his parole. so i went to live with his mom. (im 20 hes 23). but he stayed in chicago and worked and didnt help me out while i took care of our daughter. then his parole or hourse arrest or whatever got violated and he went to jail for about 2 months. and he got out of jail last...wednesday. and we went and picked him up and since then we have seen him 3 times since then. he has access to a vehicle for the most part. but just...i dont know...doesnt come...his mom even offered to come pick him up to come spend the weekend here and he said he had things to do.
2006-10-03 05:26:38 · update #1
There is nothing wrong with going to a strip club. Why don't you go with him? My wife and I will go to a nearby club every now and then....it's just fun and sexy, and it always makes for a fun time when we get back home, too.
The important question is, Why are you still considering him to be a "fiance" after having lived together, had a child together...but you are now living apart???? You should have ALREADY been married....even BEFORE you had a child together.
Face it.....you don't HAVE a fiance! You just have a f*ck-buddy!
2006-10-03 03:56:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Normally, I would say that a strip club is a pretty harmless thing and that if you are uncomfortable with it you should talk to him about it, but that you really don't have a whole lot to be worried about. However, from your situation as you describe it, the last thing I would worry about is the strip club. He lives only 45 minutes away and you haven't seen him in six months? I travel twice that everyday for work. I don't know the whole situation, but I can see why you are losing faith in him. But truth is, if he hasn't seen you in six months and hasn't cheated, he won't do so because he went to a strip club. And if he is, then the strip club won't really make a difference.
2006-10-03 04:01:16 · answer #2 · answered by Chris D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand why you don't want him to go. He doesn't need to be out pretending he's single at a strip club. His friend may or may not be single but your fiance is not and has family problems to attend to right now.
It sounds like the two of you are not together because of money issues. I would be livid if he were not saving his dollars for his family to live under one roof together! And to instead put those dollars into some other woman's g-string is totally unacceptable!
2006-10-03 04:18:32 · answer #3 · answered by Vicki B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can I ask why you had to move out in the first place? Did he kick you out or something? If he did, why are you even bothering to be with him any longer?
Anyways, to answer your question, yes, why not let him go to a strip club? It's not like he's cheating on you, he can't touch, but he can look is I always say. Same thing goes for me, I can look but can't touch. Why don't you check out a strip club for woman, I tell you, it's fun and it will give you a taste of what he's thinking when he's at the strip club. Go For It!!!
2006-10-03 04:02:46 · answer #4 · answered by Janine 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have been engaged since 2005 and have not seen him in six months? Chances are he has been going to strip clubs already when you were not there...Tell him that if he goes, he is choosing other women over you and you think the two of you need to move in different directions. I see so many questions on her about strip clubs, chatting with girls/guys, cheating and things like that... If you allow it now, he will expect it from now on and throw it up in your face when you try to say no later on... Let him know that if you are not enough woman by yourself and he needs to go see other women, naked or partially naked to fulfill his man needs, then he needs to find another woman all together. I promise you, if he is not satisfied now, he will not be later, and you deserve a man that will treasure you and want only you.
2006-10-03 03:59:18 · answer #5 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you're already "losing faith in him" then you have your answer. You don't mention why you two aren't living together now that a child's on the scene, so the question is, are you two together even though you're not living together? Because it sounds like he's single. I would suggest you talk to your man and start getting things settled or at least into focus.
2006-10-03 03:54:37 · answer #6 · answered by scarlettboca 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it sounds you like you don't trust him. do you really love him? why doesn't he spend that time with his daughter. when are you going to get married? it sounds like you are in denial of a truth that you don't want to recognize. i think you should be asking more important questions and to him , instead of here.
to get back to the question. you should let him do what ever he wants, he will anyway and if you try and control him then that's can easily lead to a more destructive future. talk to him about how you feel, don't argue or play games, be honest with him and just as important be honest with yourself. you got to do what's best for you and the child.
2006-10-03 04:03:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should discuss with your boyfriend why you feel the way you do. please don't tell him he can't go after all you can't tell anybody what they can and can't do. this will cause fiction between you. this is why you need to sit and talk it over. i understand about the trust and loosing faith with him. but tell him how this is affecting you. and put it in away like would it like it if you was the one going to strip club looking at men. hope you can work this out. take care and good luck
2006-10-03 03:57:48 · answer #8 · answered by gobbycat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no reason not to trust him unless he has done something to betray your trust already...otherwise he should be allowed to go to the strip club because it's not like he's bringing one of these girls home, he's not trying to replace you. He's still engaged to you!!! Not the strippers, let him look as long as he knows that he can't touch.
2006-10-03 03:56:04 · answer #9 · answered by Brit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't police a man. If he wants to go to a strip club, he will go.
Do your best to keep your standards 'up' for your daughter to follow. Good luck.
2006-10-03 04:00:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋