He's had an emotional affair with a woman a his job earlier this year and sometimes still answer his phone for this woman (it's never work related) and once even let her get him lunch thinking that it was fine since they're both cool with the same coworkers. He also feels curious to know what his ex-girlfriend wants when she calls. He's told me that he tries to make sure everyone is happy and that he doesn't want anyone to hate him or anything and that's why he do what he does. He thinks it's fine to continue talking to women even though most of them end's up telling him their in love with him or like him alot and he still continues to talk to them even after he let's them know he loves me. I don't like him talking to other girls because we've been through this story over and over so my question what should I do if he doesn't listen to me? When he do answer for them I often feel like he's pushing me away or carrying to much for their feelings.
2006-10-03 03:13:38 · 16 answers · asked by bettyspagettii 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Take the trash to the curb, don't bring it in your home.
2006-10-03 03:16:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think his behaviour is inconsiderate at best but I also feel you may be a little over-sensitive, unrealistic and untrusting (not that you wouldn't have total casue to be). I'm not blaming you for that, it would be natural result of what has been going on. I think it is ok for men (married or not) to be friends with, speak with, and lunch with other female humans. There has to be a level of trust in a relationship. However, in light of his past infractions, he needs to worry more about his wife's feelings than everyone else's. He needs to concern himself less with what everyone else (except his wife) thinks of him, grow up, and take his marriage more seriously before he doesn't have one! Have a sit down with him and let him know exactly how all this makes you feel, without being accusatory or issuing threats or ultimatums. Tell him you feel hurt and unimportant. Let him know that you love him dearly and he is your King but you don't fell like much of a Queen. As a matter of fact, you feel more like the Court Jester and you don't know if you can spend your life feeling that way. Put the ball in his court without threats or ultimatums and see how he responds. Be prepared mentally to take whatever action necessary should he decide that he doesn't want to or can't change his immature habits and put his wife and marriage first. You deserve someone who has the same commitment and concern for your feelings as you do them. Good Luck.
2006-10-03 03:35:08 · answer #2 · answered by Super-Mom9 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I myself would be so jealous and then the relationship wouldn't be healthy at all... first of all, I feel a relationship should have honesty and trust in it. If my man was doing all this, regardless of him telling me that he's telling the other women he's in love with me... I wouldn't know what to believe and I wouldn't have trust. If you don't have the trust, it's never going to work. Your man is not strong enough to ignore or brush off the women he's attracting. If he doesn't try to make you happy and listen to your requests, I would divorce him. I'm sure you can find someone out there who will appreciate you and love you like you deserve. You need someone to treat you as their temple, not the back burner. I wouldn't say to do the same thing in return to make him jealous...why stoop down to his level? Don't waste your time girl, get out while you can before he breaks down your self-esteem too much for you to even want to find a new love.
2006-10-03 03:35:31 · answer #3 · answered by nic 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, your husband has lost his rights to associate himself with other women, be it emotionally or physically, the day he signed the marriage paper. Doing something against the vows clearly shows what kind of a man he is to you.
You need to decide if his ways fits you or not. It is obvious he has no respect for your feelings and you have no tolerance for his unreasonable behaviour. There is a cross road here. If repeated behaviour still persist, you need to review your priorities and needs gal.
Do what fits you, even though this may sound selfish. At least, you did not go against the vow u made and you wont have to even feel guilty or regret over whatever your decision is. It is his loss, not yours.
2006-10-03 03:34:12 · answer #4 · answered by DiL 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is bullshit! His behavior indicates that he has absolutely no respect for your feelings. He continues to do this probably because of the ego boost that he feels from the attention of these other girls. You are not a challenge for him, so he (a) doesn't feel like he has to try, and (b) doesn't get charged up from your interest.
You need to reiterate to him how you feel, and if he is unresponsive, then maybe you should give him a taste of his own medicine. Not that playing games is a good thing for a relationship... but he needs a dose of his own medicine. If he doesn't care that you're receiving attention from other men, then it would become pretty clear that it's time for marriage counselling or even separation.
YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THAT!!! Everyone does...
Good luck!
2006-10-03 03:31:57 · answer #5 · answered by Jon M 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seems like he wants the attention of these ladies and doesn't care about your feelings. You two need to go to counseling to see why he needs their attention and can't tell them not to call anymore. Your feelings should be important to him. It looks like he likes that all these woman are falling for him. Its probably a big ego boost. Get counseling and see what happens. If that doesn't work only you know how much you want to take. Be clear. If you won't put up with it be sure if you give ultimatums you will follow thru with them. Like if he won't quit you will leave. There is definitely a problem here but its not yours its his. Good Luck
2006-10-03 03:21:39 · answer #6 · answered by smile4u 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is not good. He is playing the field at your expense. If he cares about you and your feelings he will stop. If he refuses to "tow the line", you need to kick this jack*** to the curb and get on with your life. He's been telling you that your feelings don't matter any more than anyone else's do. Your feelings should matter above all else. Good luck and may God bless you.
2006-10-03 03:22:35 · answer #7 · answered by connie_mspt 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
darling....you are screwed with this guy. Read the writing thats on the wall or between the lines or wherever. It's only a matter of time before his relationships go further if they haven't already....which I'de put money on that they have. Part of marriage is having respect for your partner which he seems to lack....if you don't have children I'de cut your losses...you deserve better than some cheating idiot who's in love with himself.
2006-10-03 03:19:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He will never change. If you have kids, you may want to consider living your own lives and cohabiting, but if you don't, get rid of him. He's not worth your time!
2006-10-03 04:01:15 · answer #9 · answered by kimgirlscout 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can talk to me by text or phone or email. That way you can get even on your husband.
2006-10-03 03:21:30 · answer #10 · answered by ash_m_79 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋