need help my marrige is falling apart
2006-10-03 01:45:44 · 12 answers · asked by shortgal_19 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was in the same situation except it was my husband's uncle. We were not even married a full year. He needed a place to stay and I agreed he could stay with us for a while. Well awhile turned into months.... At first he was cleaning around the house, that eventually stopped. I finally told my husband we needed rent or something. We could not afford him any longer. My husband agreed and talked to him about rent. Then his uncle quit his job..... no more rent for awhile. (Did I mention I was pregnant throughout this time???)
Anyways... worse came to worse... I got sick of his smart mouth and blew up at him... threw his things over the porch... and he ended up leaving.
You are in a marriage now. You need to do whats best for you and your husband's relationship. My husband felt sorry for his uncle. He wanted to help him.. and so did I (to a point). If you dont take action now then it could put a very bad strain on your marriage and possibly worse. You need to sit down with your husband without her... and explain whats going on. You need to let him know how you feel. He needs to understand you also. I know family is family but you are also his family now. His sister must better herself on her own. As long as she uses you as a crutch she will not be independent.
I hate how things ended with my husbands uncle and I but I am glad he is on his own now. Please take this advise and do something before its to late. I wish you the best.
2006-10-03 01:53:13 · answer #1 · answered by Keith Perry 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to set your husband down and explain that you are not happy. Don't make it anyone's fault but just that you are not happy and you feel it is effecting your marriage. Let him know how much you love him and that a marriage is made up of two people and not three. You two need alone time especially since you just got married. I'd be careful of the wording as to not make it sound like you don't like your sister in law but that you want more time for you and your husband alone. Good luck - If that don't work then try being the b**ch - sometimes there is no way around it - be aware of the consequences of this action though.
2006-10-03 03:06:36 · answer #2 · answered by prettyfroggy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not enough for your marriage to fall apart. Try harder to make it work. If it still doesn't work, ask your sister-in-law to move out. You are the QUEEN of your own palace.
A year is not enough time in a marriage to be living with others in the house. You and your husband need more time to adjust to being married.
2006-10-03 10:48:19 · answer #3 · answered by delmaanna67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband and discuss with him the problems that have occured and how it's affecting you and the marriage. Do so without anger and accusations toward his sister. You want to get him to take your side, get her out of there and make a promise to you that no family is allowed to live with you and him again. Very seldom does it work when other family members move in.
2006-10-03 02:48:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband how you feel. Don't live your life in misery. If he can't make a decision on who should stay then you make the decision for him.
2006-10-03 01:50:18 · answer #5 · answered by Nicole W 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When it comes to moving relatives into the house you should have given her a time limit. If he doesn't agree send him with her.
2006-10-03 01:48:38 · answer #6 · answered by phattybiggums 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell your husband that u both need to sit her down and explain that you need some time in ur marriage alone to sort out the domestic things without an audience... say it in such a nice way then give her a few weeks to find somehere else.
2006-10-03 03:00:12 · answer #7 · answered by cleo_alter_ego 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
and were have you been al this time when he just decided to haul in his sister inn baggage and and baggagee there hons?/ in any new mariage like this(i take it you have little ones to on top of this too?) so is is this sister working supporting her self, gone most of the times or, just siiting around filing fingernails and eating bon bons/?? does she pay a dime towards expensees// is she ading things up just siting around doing nothing what?/ anyways, in any new mariage like this sit downe with hubby and say look, i want her out bagggie, and baggiage, sit downe with him look, him in the eyes and say dont touch me, this is it eiher she goes or iam hiting the highways be calm, put it on the line, military tough style, be straight out-- too the point-- you got 48 hours, get her out or iam hiting the highways-- you got your choice--- dont-- let him get away with this----its her or me--you got your-- choice--- i will hit the highway----
2006-10-03 01:53:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
short and sweet,,,,,she needs to move out,,why dont you talk to her,,she wouldnt want to lose her boyfriend if this were her so it is unreasonable for her to dismiss any concerns you may have regarding your relationship.explain to your husband you and he need space to do what couples do and that it is hard sharing your home with another woman,,you cant relax and if it falls on deaf ears cut off the loving,,,not unreasonable when someone is listening in the other room. get her on your own and whisper you have a night planned with your hubby and conspiritorally mention she needs to make herself scarce,,
2006-10-03 01:52:36 · answer #9 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have a sit down with your husband that it is putting a strain in the marriage and she will sonn need to find another place to reside
2006-10-03 01:48:38 · answer #10 · answered by Mike 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋