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I have told her she needs to work at this problem. Due to my line of work I need to maintain a good image and my partner also should as I have lots of work dinners etc she needs to come to.
I have recently told her to go to the gym everyday after work to get in a suitable shape (and I have bought her membership). She however has started shouting and screaming at me for demanding this. Should I cut my losses?

2006-10-03 01:11:23 · 21 answers · asked by Joe C 2 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

21 answers

comon do it

2006-10-03 01:38:51 · answer #1 · answered by ur_rohitfunky 1 · 0 0

I am not sure what advice you have received but TELLING your wife tor do this was not the best approach as you can tell. Have you talked to her about this? Have you suggested you both go to the gym in the evening, or talk walk in the evening? Find way to do things together some you can spend time together, talk at the same time in a neutral environment, and you are both getting work outs. Look at it this way, if you concerned about your image at work, you should be concerned about your image at homes? This may also improve your home life. Do you tell your partners at work they have to do this/that? Probably not, you talk to them and each person is a equal, well... same at home. You need to understand, she has a tough job taking care of the house, baby and you, so take care of her!

Recommendation: Go buy her some flowers, maybe dinner, apologize for telling her she has to do this, and try again.

Good Luck!

2006-10-03 01:28:56 · answer #2 · answered by kevin T 3 · 0 0

I would too, quit being such a insensitive jerk, she just had your baby. Do you have any idea the changes that happen when you have a baby, and she is probably feeling like crap anyways because her body is different, she is busy taking care of a newborn and obviosly has no support from you. Maybe if you approached in a loving matter with reassurance that you love her no matter what, and that she is beautiful no matter what size she is, you would see a better reaction out of her. She propbably wants to lose the weight even more than you want her too, but when a husband acts like you have, it will just make a woman deppressed, and not care about what she looks like. Also, who cares about her weight, you should be proud to have your WIFE on your arm at your meetings, regardless of how she looks. Stop being so insensitive and realisticly, you probably are the only one out of your business friends who think about what others spouses look like, it doesn't matter, its the person that counts. Give you head a shake!!!!

2006-10-03 01:19:31 · answer #3 · answered by shrimpseys 4 · 0 0

I can't believe you put you image ahead of the love for your wife. The mother of your child. You need to get you head straight. How incredibly self centered of you. You realise the world would be a much better place with fewer people like you. Man I'm not even gonna being to tell how you should change because I figure you're too far gone or you're just posting these question to get a rise out of people in either case you're annoying.

2006-10-03 01:17:26 · answer #4 · answered by St.Anger 4 · 2 0

you should never tell a woman that she SHOULD do anything, she will of course just get her back up and be of course very hurt.
depending on how long ago she had a baby, you really should not be putting any pressure on her right now. their are nice ways to go about this. I think its great that you bought her the membership for the gym, she will go, just leave it to her to do it when she is ready. I know my husband would never be embarrassed of me no matter how I looked. if you really are in love with her you will be patient. suggestion, why don't you go with her, she may not feel comfortable going by her self. ask her see what she says. this is a very sensitive subject for us ladies.

2006-10-03 01:26:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

As the mother of 4, I feel I must tell you something....YOU ARE A PIG!!!
How DARE you tell her she needs to work on this problem. You think a "good image" is an skeleton? If you were my husband, I'd leave you in a heartbeat! She needs to do more to you than shouting and screaming.

Many ladies gain extra weight during pregnancy and it comes off in time. Hormones can play havoc on our bodies. I'd like to see how "in shape" you'd be after giving birth.

You make me sick!

2006-10-03 01:18:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

Women are not trophy's. If you think your wife needs to look good so you can maintain a certain image, it makes you look bad. She needs to do it for herself! Maybe you can approach it like that it's unhealthy to be over weight and you want her to be around for a long time. If you say lose weight because it makes me look bad, then you deserve what ever she gives you. There is a sensitive way around this.

2006-10-03 01:21:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

A good image could also be a good marriage- it's not all about looks ya know.
People can SEE when you have a good marriage- they also SEE when you have a "trophy wife". The latter looks totally phony.
Don't "cut your losses" whats lost? Your "image"? I am sure your wife wants to look good for you- and to you. Give her time, she will work on it, stress will often cause the problem to be worse too.... Good luck- hang in there!!

2006-10-03 01:17:10 · answer #8 · answered by rottymom02 5 · 0 1

In a relationship, attraction has a lot more to do with love than looks. Apparently, your love only goes skin deep. That's too bad. I feel sorry for your wife and kid. What happens if your child's not as cute as you expected him/her to be? Are you going to lock them in the attic so your image isn't damaged by what you perceive to be an ugly child? Grow up. Get over yourself.

2006-10-03 01:28:49 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0 0

ur not even right dude...if u love her u would accept her for who she is....if i was her id leave ur sorry *** in a minute... let me tell u its not easy to find ppl to love out there in this messed up world these days so when u do u gotta hang on to them...u should be ashamed of urself dude... u should come home from work make her a very romantic dinner with a nice bottle of wine and let her know how much u love her.. and dont let anything make u try to change her... ur gonna lose her dude if u dont watch what ur doing...ur gonna wake up one morning or come home from work and shes gonna be gone then what are u gonna do.. wallow in ur self pitty????

2006-10-03 01:22:50 · answer #10 · answered by sandy 1 · 0 0

I felt that way for on the point of two months. Having a sparkling toddler is a tricky adjustment era. you sense beaten, out of your intensity, lower than pressure and wiped out. lack of sleep exasperates your thoughts or maybe even with the actuality that you adore your toddler more suitable than some thing, challenge with breastfeeding, the consistent demands of breastfeeding, no longer understanding why your toddler cries each and every time he cries, colic, wondering you skills as a mom because you aren't any further experiencing the bonding you idea you would possibly want to, feeling inadequate as a mom even as positioned next to different mums, feeling remoted and on my own and not in any respect receiving adequate help out of your relatives, are some valid causes as to why you would possibly want to sense aggravated or maybe sense resentment for your new toddler. i have been on your concern. It wasn't postpartum (I doubt very a lot that you've postpartum). I in simple terms needed extra help from my significant different. i had to have that "adjustment" era which, for me, lasted 2 months and then I bonded with my son very instantly. I joined a mom's communicate board and received fairly some help from different mums, on line, from the relaxation of my own residence. even as my toddler develop into older, i'd bypass out, only for an hour, to a paying for centre ( which had an remarkable feeding room) and develop into in elementary words minutes from the position I lived, in simple terms so i'd be round human beings and may want to sense human. Having a espresso even as he develop into napping in the pram develop into organic bliss. Do you've any relations or close friends that you'll sense smooth having round in the course of the day? don't be afraid to ask your fiance for extra help and probably imagine about transforming into a member of a mom's crew on your section or a internet crew. Remeber, those thoughts received't very last a lot longer. I wish you and your toddler each and every of the perfect.

2016-12-04 04:09:38 · answer #11 · answered by silender 4 · 0 0

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