I love an addict. I do not wish to be with him at this time but he is self destructing by abusing alcohol and cocaine. He has lost 2 great jobs because he couldn't get out of bed in the morning, kicked me (the person who loves and cares about him more than anything) out of his life, he continues to push me away and I am pregnant with his unborn son. Pushes away his family and ex friends. He has been making poor heartless decisions including running around with a 34 year old married woman (he is 22), he is living in his parents basement, partying nightly and still has no job. His parents are obviously blind or naive because they are not seeing what is happening to him. He is on a downward spiral. I care for him so how can I help. How can I make his parents see before he hits rock bottom? Or is that the only way he will get better? How will he see that what he is doing now will have a drastic effect on the relationship of his son? I can give more detail if needed.
2006-10-02 22:02:01 · 8 answers · asked by shane m 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Will he ever be back to his normal self? He was such a kind, loving, caring man before all of this.
2006-10-02 22:28:28 · update #1
Some times rock bottom is the only way and I am talking prison. Then I have seen some come from there and still out doing it again. As far as his parents all you can do is make them aware of looking for it whatever way they need to deal with it them selfes, They may not see it until it is to late but you have made them aware what else can they think. I am glad to hear that you are not around him and that you care enough about YOUR son. I am raising 2 grandkids(a 15 and a 2 months) because the mother and my son couldn't or wouldn't stay away from meth. now they have to stay away from their children.And apparently this isn't rock bottom they were both dirty last week.You don't need to go down with him and one of the grandparents raise him. They don't seem to hold jobs and we as parents,that can't believe they were doing such a thing, help them with there problem not knowing it by providing money ,a roof over their head, food ect.
As for relationship with his son.. you may need to be a mom and dad be ready for it. Ask yourself if you want him to be around him? Will he be safe? Are you better off just you and your son? Seems the only ones they don't push out of their lives that mean something is parents because of the inabling we do for them. Then when we stop we are just like the rest. It is a hard road.if you need to talk feel free to contact my e-mail addy Good luck with your pregnancy and enjoy that little boy of yours they are so presious
2006-10-02 22:42:17 · answer #1 · answered by sherbug 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe his parents aren't the only ones blind here. You said it in the first sentence. An addict is an addict. You can only help them by not enabling them. That means not allowing them to continue to abuse and disrespect you and your unborn child by staying around him while he uses.
He does need rehab, but if he's not in a place for it, then he won't change. Let him know that you will be there for him when he's ready for help. Then leave and help yourself and your unborn child. He's not in a place to see exactly how he's destroying his life right now. I only hope that something helps him to see that his life is valuable to others, if not himself.
I think you just need to realize that you need to protect yourself and your unborn child at this point and safety should be your main concern.
2006-10-03 05:11:26 · answer #2 · answered by sugarapple25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go to his house when he is not there and have a heart to heart with his parents. You need to tell them about the drugs and the older woman. You need to tell them that you are pregnant. You need to tell them that you and his friends have tried to help him. He WILL hate you right now for doing this.You will have a pregnancy without him (I did) and probably your childs first year of life will not find him in it. He has to come out of this on his own, but his parents interaction is very vital. Even if they don't help much, if he is any kind of person at all, it will eat him up to know that his parents know! Most importantly, I've been in your shoes and wish I would have had the guts to tell my daughters grandparents that they had a grandchild coming. Regardless of his actions, they do care about a grandchild! I didn't find this out until my daughter was three. Please... don't make the same mistake to cover for him!
2006-10-03 05:29:58 · answer #3 · answered by dolphinroc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can offer help and to be there. Don't give him money. He will only stop when all the money runs out. His parents are enabling him by providing a place to stay. Parents are wired that way. It is not their fault.
As others have said. . . he will have to hit a bottom before he sees a need to change.
2006-10-03 06:02:02 · answer #4 · answered by Jack P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run, dont turn back. Your baby will never have a life unless you make one for it. His parents dont care. They are thru raising an immature brat. He does not care about your baby or he would be there supporting you. 34 yr old married women have money and he has no conscience. He will end up in prizon or homeless someday.
2006-10-03 05:11:44 · answer #5 · answered by happydawg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel so sorry for you. There is really nothing you can do until he hits bottom and asks for help. In the mean time you take care of yourself and the baby. You need to stay stress free for the baby's sake.
2006-10-03 05:08:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to his parents. Try to make them see that their son needs to get out of this situation. Talk to someone that can help. If need be, get the police on him and make sure he goes to rehab.
2006-10-03 05:05:47 · answer #7 · answered by trushka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you using his answers account? If not then are you a tranvestite?
2006-10-03 06:13:37 · answer #8 · answered by Sheriff Leane 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋