I have met this great guy so much more in common i know this could be lust and the saying the grass is always greener. I just wondering what would you do if you was in this situation.
(1) Work things out with the partner, learn new hobbies together spice up the current relationship and see what feelings if any come back.
(2) have a nice fling with the new guy seperate from your partner give into your desires. See what happens you never know could form a relationship (rebound) Anyway i am not asking for anyone to justify things for me just some advice would be great so i could see my options
2006-10-02 20:45:31 · 20 answers · asked by jules 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
husband and i have talked about this we are considering a trial seperation how long is normal? He still has feelings for me but i am not.
2006-10-02 20:56:33 · update #1
Option 1 you have been married for 5 year so there must be something there, it's just being blocked by your current lust/desire situation.
option 2 is a lose lose situation, with 1 at least you have nothing to lose but everything to gain.
2006-10-03 04:49:53 · answer #1 · answered by Solitary 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, interesting question because I'm sort of in the same boat, but I'm a guy who's diggin this married girl. My train of thought is this; ask yourself what do you really want. Are you looking for someone to make you happy because you're not fully content with life right now? Is the guy you're with just not what you want anymore? If things don't work out with the new guy, are you gonna just go back to your husband or are you gonna leave?
The girl I'm seeing is leaving her husband because they've grown apart after 10 years. He's 7 years older than she is and they have different priorities. She's just starting to go through a divorce right now and I wonder if I'm just a rebound. On the other hand, I have a girlfriend that's 9 years younger than me and we have very little in common but we have 2 kids. I feel trapped - do you feel trapped?
Just think about what will happen if you and the new guy don't work out. That's important in what decision you should make. Security - is that what you're looking for. Are you just looking to have sex? Your husband is probably a good guy but you just are on different pages. You'll feel a bit guilty the first few times "things" happen with the new guy, but you may learn a lot about yourself and what you really want during it and ultimately leave your husband. Also, how would you feel if your husband cheated on you and you found out? Could you, would you stay with him? Just some things to think about.
Free advice though, cover your tracks big time. Delete cell phone calls, e-mails - anything associating you with the new guy. Even your cell phone bill should go to another location because your husband can check up on you if he gets suspicious.
I believe in learning from your mistakes. You'll know down the road weather getting married in the first place was a mistake or cheating was a mistake. I didn't really answer your question - I just wanted to maybe make you think about some things. Take Care - Patrick
2006-10-02 21:05:11 · answer #2 · answered by goodtimeskaraokecompany 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to ask yourself this, is the relationship worth saving if yes talk with him to see what you really want, but I have a feeling you have eyes for someone else thats why you feel the way you do, so having a fling is not the answer, sort out your relationship first if it still not sorted go seperate ways then you are free to do what you want see if feelings are the same as being in a relationship good luck hope you can sort it out
2006-10-02 21:39:33 · answer #3 · answered by SADGIT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there will always come times when the marriage hits a bump. but you didnt get married just for the good times. risking everything for a fling is not worth it. after 5 years with this new guy, you will have problems as well. so you are not attending to the problem. just escaping it. find out where things went wrong for you and your husband. and try to sort out the cause of the problems. having everything in common is no guarantee. there was something that drew you to each other in the first place.
2006-10-02 20:53:15 · answer #4 · answered by caramel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It probably is a case of the grass being greener. Try to make things work with your husband. If you end up splitting up with him then at least you'll know you did everything you could to make it work so you'd have no regrets. To do this though, I would suggest you totally leave the other guy alone - (easier said than done maybe) but if he is on your mind, then you wont be focusing on your hubby.
However, maybe you wouldn't even have noticed this other guy if you were in a happy fullfilling marriage...
good luck!
2006-10-02 20:53:03 · answer #5 · answered by Cori 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Michelle, the subject with leaving your husband for yet another co-worker is that the recent courting will continually be tainted with have confidence subjects. After the maximum recent of the courting wears off you will continually have a reason to doubt the courting. What if he's taking interest in somebody else or what in case you wind up doing a similar ingredient? perhaps while and if it does you may even have little ones in the photograph. in case you have no longer have been given feeling to your husband you may desire to first cope with that subject. in case you do no longer water the backyard the grass never grows and the backyard around the line continually seems better. in case you experience the could desire to head on then you particularly could desire to try this and then think of roughly relationship your co-worker. however the previous asserting of are not getting your meat the place you get your bread is authentic! additionally your co-worker could basically be attracted to you in view which you're married and he basically needs some thing casual. you comprehend the desire to have some thing you won't be able to have on the 2nd. yet as quickly as you have it, this isn't any longer continually the type you think of it replaced into. good success!
2016-10-18 09:52:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't even go there! so much could be lost if you did have a fling ! once its done there is no way of ever going back,
i think first of all you need to understand in your own head why you don't have any feelings towards him, has he changed? have you? a few months ago i felt exactly the same way about my husband but there was no way i was going to give up i knew we had to try and keep it together.
we started spending more time together just getting the kids off to bed at a decent time and sitting in front of the TV helped.
something else i never thought i would do was to watch porn with him(some people might find this totally unacceptable) but because i knew he enjoyed it i wanted to be part of something he liked and it opened so many doors for us. just being involved in something he liked instead of the other way round really helped!!it bought us closer together helped us to open up to each other and for the first time in 4 years we talked!
just stick at it try something you would never normally do and see how it goes just don't give up without trying. hope this helps take care of your self and don't do anything you might later regret!
2006-10-02 21:36:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not an easy place to be in for you. I would try with my husband first to see what we can do. I would try to tell him, you never know he might be feeling the same if everything has got into a routine. Spicing up the relationship would be good too.
If after trying you still don't feel things have changed then go your separate ways. Don't find someone else first. Have seen it happen with friends' relationships and that hurts them most. Take care.
2006-10-02 20:53:35 · answer #8 · answered by PhoebeR 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am sorry but i don't think option 2 is the way to go, i was in a serious relationship for a few years and he has a one night stand, i would never tell anyone to do this to someone else, remembering all those hurt full feelings had. just remember those vows you took, in better or worse. speak to your partner about how you are feeling, if he knew the truth then I'm sure he would want to sort things out.
2006-10-02 20:53:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear...not this old chestnut. I think everyone doubt's their own relationship at some point. But believe me if you are considering wondering off just step back and think what it would do to you partner if he found out...... would you want that hurt?
Anyway...I think this about you. I feel that you may need some time to re discover yourself. Then you will be in a position to decide what you want to do. If you you do go for option 2...give me a shout!!!!ha
2006-10-02 20:52:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋