i keep going back to my bf. he keeps putting me through all this emotional drama and basically makes me feel like ****. i know what i need to do, yet it's so hard for me to let him go. this is really bugging me and i wonder if there's anything wrong with me. what do you think?
2006-10-02 20:05:30 · 13 answers · asked by Bena 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Trina,
You say that you keep going back with your bf. The real question is why do you split up in the first place. You need to analyze the situation. Think about the reasons you have split. Were they petty reasons, or were they what you would consider serious issues? You said that he puts you through all of the emotional drama. Is the emotional drama a serious issue? Think of the reasons why you dont want certain things in your life. Once you have done this then think about what you are looking for in a relationship. Are you looking for long term? Or are you just looking for someone to spend some time with. If you decide that your are looking for long term, then you have to figure out what you expect in the "long term", such as financial stability, or marriage and raising a family. Maybe you want to retire to traveling, or just kick it at home. Then make a pros and cons list of your partner. What qualities do they have that makes them long term material? Do they have some the same likes and dislikes that you do? Do you share some of the same interests or hobbies? In other words do you really want a long term with your boyfriend? If you do, then both of you need to kick back and enjoy this ride wecall "life". No there is nothing wrong with you. You just need to sit down and talk about your ground rules. Let your partner know what you expect out of them, make sure that you are on the same track. If you know what you need to do, and that is letting him go then you need to follow through with your true gut feelings. And if you say its really bugging you to let him go then you must have some real feelings for this person. There is an old saying:
"Don't just be with someone you can live with,
be with someone you just cant live without"
2006-10-02 21:16:27 · answer #1 · answered by SHEILA P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An emotional relationship is a very valuable part of one's life. Taking it casually in the beginnig is the main reason why you find yourself in this fix. Even now it is not too late. Sit calmly and write down on a sheet of paper all the plus and minus points of your relationship. Don't be in a hurry. After you feel you have written everything give it a break and return to it next day. By then you might recall some things you forgot to write the previous day. Keep working on it for five days. You will be surprised at the extent to which you have suddenly become objective in your thoughts. Spend the next week deleting those entries which you now think as unimportant. After doing this consider whether your BF is still fit to be your most significant male . If yes go ahead and tell him not to hurt you any more. If he agrees -then and then alone- show him your exercize and explain why it is important for him to make up his mind right now . Give him reasonable time to think and decide on mending his ways. If he refuses,. say a Firm GOOD BYE to him and go ahead with your life. There are enough fish left in the Sea.You don't have to die eating a rotten one.
While on this exercize ,keep your mind calm. It is your future you are playing with.
2006-10-03 03:25:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your used to him and really don't want to start over with someone new. You do care for him but I also think your afraid to one day see him with another girl. You don't need to take that type of abuse. He is no good for you and you know it. You deserve much better. Be strong and leave him. Show him you are no longer going to be his doormat that he can always stomp on. Have pride and self respect for yourself. Avoid him as much as you can. Yes it is going to be hard to forget him but you will in time. Then one day you will look back as see how foolish you were to put up with that dorks crap. You will meet a decent guy that will treat you good if you let it. Leave the bum and go on with your life. You deserve to be happy not stomped on!
2006-10-03 03:29:32 · answer #3 · answered by Humming Bird 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I dont' know what he's done, but if he's cheating or doing something like that then you are sad.
You are not unlike many women on Maury Povich, Jerry Springer, and other shows where women get cheated on or used time and time again and keep coming back. You deserve what you get.
Get a backbone and move on. If things are this bad, then your a fool and you have only yourself to blame. good luck.
2006-10-03 03:08:37 · answer #4 · answered by Ice4444 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No its called been human, nothing wrong with you other than you let this man pull on your heart strings to his advantage. Yep its hard but you also know leaving him for good is the right thing to do.No one deserves bad drama in their lives caused by someone else. be strong and move on and mean it, IF thats what you really want, if you want to stay, lay down some new ground rules and make sure he sticks to them and you also.
2006-10-03 03:08:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO Honey! There's nothing wrong with you. Not yet anyway! But if you stay in a bad, abusive, ugly relationship like this one sounds like, well I am afraid to say that there will be something wrong with you (without your choice of the matter) Throw it in first gear and get the hell out of dodge, cuz there's nothing that will make it better believe me. Fend for yourself, trust me! GOOD LUCK! signed.......wasted Half my life on jerks!
2006-10-03 03:21:26 · answer #6 · answered by ghostguff3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Classic Co-Dependancy. Let me simplify.... Ignorance is bliss... The dumber you are the easier it is to be happy. Because you're not smart enough to know how miserable you really are. Then, one day the lights begin to come on and OMG! you're not so happy anymore! Congratulations. YOU know what to do now! GO DO IT!
P.S. How many more times are you going to keep asking this question before you actually listen to what you're being told? Your profile looks freakish!
2006-10-03 03:13:19 · answer #7 · answered by RhinoBoy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please take a deep breath and say the short prayer of the heart: Dear Jesus have mercy of me...you are a good girl, and you love him so...the best thing is to try (first you...and after a while you both) to love the other without wanting to change something in him...you can pray and God will give you all the help you need HE IS LOVE.Please tell Him all about your anger and the rest, empty your heart of all thoughts and He will fill it with love, SAINT LOVE! May God give you the peace of mind you need!
2006-10-03 03:19:43 · answer #8 · answered by MV 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abuse happens in cycles. Your boyfriend is nice with you too and he gives you reasons to stay - as well as reasons to go, so the reasons to leave is only 50% and the reasons to stay is the other 50%, so it will always be hard to leave such a relationship. I did and now I'm in a place where the reasons to stay is 100% : )
Come on, do it for yourself, you want to be happy, don't you?
By the way, nothing wrong, you're perfect, just your ***hole of a boyfriend whose making you think somethings wrong with you. You go kick him on his *** right now, girl!
2006-10-03 03:17:27 · answer #9 · answered by mortierella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are dependent on him, abuse and all. Get a new perspective on life. Realize that you deserve the best and it certainly isn't him. Think of 10 years down the road if you were still with him. Move on. The grass is really greener in this situation.
2006-10-03 03:08:21 · answer #10 · answered by phoenixheat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋