The guy I am seeing is awful in bed, he is the worst lover his penis is so small it can hardly reach. He is the sweetest man ever and I love him so much, but the sex is really bad I'm so frustrated after sex, I pretend that it is ok but it's not. What should I do? I'm in love with him, but I can't take this anymore.
2006-10-02 19:28:01 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Men's Health
Hmmm . . . maybe you should try different positions. Give me a sec and I'll try to find you a few links.
OK, here are some links:
http://www.askmen.com/love/love_tip_200/209_love_tip.html
http://www.askmen.com/love/love_tip_60/67_love_tip.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kegel_exercise
http://www.coolnurse.com/orgasm_positions.htm
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/1727.html
http://www.kamasutra-sex.org/kama-sutra-positions/index.html
Most of that should be helpful. In particular, you should consider exercising the muscles around your vagina as that will tighten you up (in some countries, women even lift small weights with their vaginas!). As for the part about him not reaching, I think you might have some luck laying down on a surface where you two will roughly line up and then pulling your legs up to your chest. I was trying to find you a link with a picture of that, but I do not think it is in any of the links I gave. Anyway, that stuff should help. I'll keep looking for a few minutes, and add on if I find anything else.
How fortunate! The position I was thinking of is on the page I last linked to about the Kama Sutra. The position is called "the deep one" (there is a similar one called "the screw" too; try both of them!). Because you say he can barely reach, I think that should be just right (although it will probably take some getting used to). Anyway, the Kama Sutra is a good read if you're interested in sex. Also, reading various stuff online will be helpful. But do not just pretend that you are pleased, or things will not get any better! How is the poor fellow supposed to learn if you're not giving him helpful feedback? If you or he (or both of you) are overweight, you should really consider losing the extra pounds because that will bring your bodies closer together and make him seem bigger. Healthy food and exercise will do you both some good.
Now you have me curious. Exactly how big is this fellow? Can you estimate? Measure your hand if you can't really guess off the top of your head. It's always interesting to know these things. Good night!
2006-10-02 19:32:15 · answer #1 · answered by anonymous 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok, well, the first step is to accept what you and he really can't change without a great deal of discomfort on his part and possible serious post-op complications.
Love the man, accept the issue.
I don't favor the leaving the book around idea only because he might think you're boning up on ideas to please him instead of suggesting he read it. Tell him how you like to be touched, show him up close and friendly. It's a little harder to do this when you've been involved for some time but you can always say something along the lines of......I was just messing around the other day and discovered I really like the way THIS feels.....*show the moves*. Ask him if he'll do it for you and be patient while he learns.
I was with a man with an undersized unit too. He knew he was but he perfected oral sex so it wasn't a big deal though sometimes we girls like the big finish, so to speak. I can tell you that if he's not sensitive about his size, he may be willing to employ the use of a girl's power tool to give you that feeling of fullness. Of course, he could use that AND other manual or oral stimulation at the same time and you get your fun up front. Then, when he's ready to go, focus on the intimacy being shared, the loving quality of it and remember that it's giving him great pleasure just as he gave YOU great pleasure. Feel free to stimulate yourself while he's having his fun with you too. Might take time and will definitely take some finesse on your part but love makes it aaallll worth it.
2006-10-03 02:46:10 · answer #2 · answered by badasslilnici 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
A woman only has feelings the first three inches into the vagina anyway. Try to get him to stimulate you with his fingers, his lips, his tongue. You could go down to the local adult store and buy some adult toys to play with. There are penis pumps out there and extensions if you want to try some. Also, a good old vibrator would probably be the ticket, for you and for him. But please talk to him and let him know that you need more stimulation. Love between two people has a lot more to do with than sex. Im glad you love him for who he is. All of the rest can be worked out. Be patient and I believe you will be rewarded.
2006-10-03 02:38:03 · answer #3 · answered by kitty K 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Leave the zero and come to the hero. J/K. If you're unhappy, then leave him now. If you stay with him for love, which is fine, I think you'll more than likely cheat on him if you haven't already. Sex is a very important part of a relationship, so if it's not good, you leave your relationship in a very dangerous situation.
2006-10-03 02:30:43 · answer #4 · answered by morningstar 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never admit to him that, because even if you countinue dating, he won't be the same - its something that kills the romance for them and specially if he loves you he will not be happy to know that he is not able to sutesfie you. However, you can try telling each other's fantasies and making them come true....spend more time making out and in foreplay....lead him to give you the best oral! I think this could help a lot :) Good luck!
2006-10-03 10:15:18 · answer #5 · answered by lina_girl06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your A Bit Mean To The Poor Guy Arent You :(
2006-10-03 07:51:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
is love your relationship with him based on sex only?
there are many ways to be sexually gratified.. u can read it in books or see in movies...
the two of you just need to cooperate and communicate..
2006-10-03 03:25:42 · answer #7 · answered by akoaypilipino 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well the way i see it is that size does not matter, its the technique that makes or breaks it!!!
tell him how he can make it better for you, that your sex life will be absolutely awesome. he needs to know how you feel about this so he can improve his technique in order to give you more pleaseure from the experience.
2006-10-03 02:31:54 · answer #8 · answered by Sparky 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
is his sweetness really going to satisfy you for the long run? chuck him.i had the same experience it was so small i could'nt work with it.and it hurt 'cause he was tearing the 'hood 'of my clitoris,and it did not reach me even when i was the "rider".i got lucky after i dumped him you will too,your happiness is just as important as everyone else's.
2006-10-03 02:52:25 · answer #9 · answered by choctaw2006 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
tell him whats wrong help him all he needs to do is learn how to use his penis his size shouldn't mater if he knows how to use it
2006-10-03 03:07:53 · answer #10 · answered by Surfer_69 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋