I recently asked a question about what people thought about a one time, no-strings-attached fling before you get married. Earlier tonight I was talking to some girlfriends, and one said that she would do it, two said that they would not. I wanted a diverse answer from people on what they thought of it.
Instead, I got yelled at.
I AM NOT THE ONE GOING TO HAVE A ONE NIGHT STAND.
I am personally against the idea. I love my soon-to-be husband and I won't be sleeping with anyone else, ever. I simply wanted to know what people's thoughts on the subject were, seeing as how there is such a diverse set of people on here.
So, I ask again: what do you guys think about having the option of a one night stand. Do you agree with me and say it's wrong, or do you disagree and say that it's right? If you do it, would you tell your partner?
2006-10-02 18:50:16 · 16 answers · asked by Bachman-ette 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just a reminder--I AM NOT CONSIDERING CHEATING.
Amy, however, was the one who brought it up, and she says that a lot of people agree with her and would go and have sex with someone else before they got married. I told her she was wrong, and I wanted to see if I was right in telling her that.
2006-10-02 19:00:58 · update #1
I agree with you and sorry you got yelled at.
It is absolutely wrong. If a person is engaged, they make a commitment to be true to the person they are engaged to.
If the other party found out, they might leave or never trust you again, hurting both of you.
Also they would be very hurt and some would be tempted to do the same thing to get even with you. They would be overcome with emotions and may in their emotional state, do this and this would damage their self worth and character and might hurt you if you found out.
It is just not good for all involved. I was faithful to my ex husband for 17 years, emotionally starving, had opportunities to cheat, but felt I made a commitment to him for better or worse till death do us part. I meant what I said. I also loved him.
He cheated on me, divorced me and married her, but my conscience is clear before God and I like myself and am proud of my values and who I am. I have never regretted being faithful. There is a payoff in decent living and itis the benefit you reap in self worth and lack of guilt.
Your friends are wrong..they want to have their cake and eat it too, but things like this have a way of getting back at you in the what comes around goes around way.
Since I know I would not do it, there is no need to worry and ponder if I should tell or not which could have devastating consequences. You can never go wrong with doing right.
2006-10-02 19:00:55 · answer #1 · answered by shaney 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I think its wrong unless both partners get to do it and know about it. Then I still think its wrong overall but that's the only time I think it has any right to it. I would never agree to it in anyway shape or form. If I was the girl or guy. The one that was letting the other do it, the one doing it them self. or the person sleeping with the soon to be married person. I would not be apart of it. I have no religious background but I think love and marriage is meant for two people in love.
But hey if my friend did it or family member hey its no skin off my back.
2006-10-02 18:56:08 · answer #2 · answered by SummerRain Girl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look We only live once, and only you or /and I will face a maker biggert han the fat lady down the street or a mom in menapause. You live your life and make only 1 good decision. Don' t tell anyone. If you feel you must share than it might be for the wrong reason. Geuss what if you really love your man, than one day you will let the cat out of the bag anyway. He may have one too. but after the story is out in a while , please follow with a protien treatment.
2006-10-02 18:59:57 · answer #3 · answered by hedge of protection 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that its a very bad idea. Doing this would make your husband have doubts about how much you want to marry him in the first place. He figures if you want to be with another man, why are you marrying him?
It would make him think twice and cause insecurity that could last possibly for the entire duration of your marriage. You obviously love him or you wouldn't be getting married. Don't screw it up!
2006-10-02 19:05:35 · answer #4 · answered by reblcwgrl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am personally against it. The way I see it, u are already in a commited relationship so one night stands is still cheating, plain and simple. And it's not the fact that my 'soon to be" husband will find out. In fact, he may never find out. It is the fact that I couldn't live with myself afterwards that will get to me.
2006-10-02 18:56:01 · answer #5 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think anyone was yelling at YOU.
YOU tends to be used in a very general way. IF you dont like that then dont ask the questions that you ask.. IF you still insist on asking .. save yourself from any discomfort by EXPLICITLY STATING WHO IS GONNA BE DOING THE WHAT IN THE RELATIONSHIP YOU ARE QUESTIONING!!!!!
I wasnt yelling at you when I said what I said. I meant YOU as in whom ever read the answers.. the person who was CONSIDERING FUKKING AROUND.
2006-10-02 19:06:42 · answer #6 · answered by Shalamar Rue 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i definitely think that this is a big no no...you don't want to go into a marriage with a monkey on your back..if you are ready for marriage, then before you got this serious with someone, you probably should have sown your wild oats, and gone crazy before you got into a serious relationship..ya know>>? I would feel really guilty, and you don't want to build a relationship on cheating ya know? so i agree that it is a naughty thing to do
2006-10-02 19:00:29 · answer #7 · answered by jewel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having a one night stand just before getting married. WOW! Wouldn't STD be a great wedding gift?
2006-10-02 18:53:31 · answer #8 · answered by Eldude 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i am against the idea of having sex a day before the marriage...it's a sin, you're hurting your soon tobe wife/husband...your faithfulness is weak, your getting married and getting suicide..you can have better sex with your partner because there's love with it
2006-10-02 19:19:38 · answer #9 · answered by harukashin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, bad idea. No one entering into a marriage should even be contemplating having one or multi-night stands. Fidelity is the keystone of a good marriage.
2006-10-02 18:53:22 · answer #10 · answered by pdilks 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋