We've been breaking up and getting back together for months. I know it's unhealthy, but if we didn't love each other, we wouldn't get back together each time. It's gotta go either one way or the other though. I can't keep doing this.
2006-10-02 18:31:54 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Love isn't the answer why you keep getting back with each other, you're just afraid to be alone again and you have found comfort in having a companion even if you constantly fight with each other. Breaking up for whatever reason just goes to show that you're not compatible, so make it a final decision, break up with him and move on. How can you move on? No phone calls from him for as long as you miss him, beacuase that is the most vulnerable time for you with the highest risk of falling back to him. Start going out with friends and dating out guys, this would at least provide you some companionship that you are terribly missing. Until eventually you'll find yourself emotionally detached from him and then you are in one piece again. Good luck:)
2006-10-02 18:41:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you keep getting back together doesn't mean you love each other. When you break up, you break up and that means something. The fact is, whatever breaks you up is still going to be there when you get back together. People rarely change and it's usually someones actions that cause the fight leading to the break up; and those actions are most likely going to continue after reuniting. Getting back together repeatedly just proves a fear of change or being alone, and neither will allow the relationship to mature or grow into something lasting.
Your best bet is to let this person go for good which means no contact at all. I don't recommend moving onto another relationship until you are completely free of this other person and the feelings you have for them. Just spend time with friends and do the things you enjoy...going to the movies, shopping, window shopping, sports, etc. It has to heal naturally and you need to learn how to heal naturally from the loss or change in your life without jumping into another relationship that will probably end up just as destructive.
Ultimately, what brings two people together will be the basis of their entire relationship...whether it's friendship, sex, drugs or dealing with pain. Good luck.
2006-10-02 18:44:59 · answer #2 · answered by chrissy757 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who keeps initiating the break ups? If it's him, just lose him. If it's you, make up your mind and stand by your decision. If you're taking turns, just put an end to it for once and for all. No more phone calls, e-mails, birthday cards, nothing. You have the right to the pursuit of happiness. If this relationship is making you unhappy, pursue something (or someone) else!
2006-10-02 18:43:39 · answer #3 · answered by Chocoholic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not trying to be mean, but this up and down thing is only hurting you both. You have been together and you have been apart, then together, then apart. Instead of just looking for that "get back together" time, think of the chances you are passing up of finding someone more intune with who you are! GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!
2006-10-02 18:39:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Moving on is a decision you have to make. If you don't then you won't. You are holding on too tight to the past. You can't change it. You have to identify, process, and undertand and then you can let go. I know that sounds simple, but it is very true. Make the choice for something better. Write down what you want and you will get it, but you have to make the choice first. Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-02 18:37:28 · answer #5 · answered by danny_austin4 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im in the same situation with my ex-wife. We want to however, I think our problem is a problem of trust. It is very hard for me to trust her because I am afraid that she will stomp on it since I stomped on hers. I just recently gave her my heart and she started to play with it. She started to try and make me jealous and it worked. I got scared and bolted fast and tried to protect myself.
Yes, your situation is unhealthy and it will never work if you don't build up some trust first and then throw your heart out.
2006-10-02 18:45:37 · answer #6 · answered by Jeff W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If life keeps handing you lemons, ask for some Tequila and salt too!
Catch 22 huh.. been there. you keep doing what you are doing, and hope it works out, or you move on, but what if you move on and you realise were meant to be...!!!
You prob do love each other, but its clearly not working...
Saddle up and move on...
2006-10-02 18:39:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes its not becos u love each other so much tat u both keep patching back,sometimes it might jus be a habit of having him/her around tat causes the back together :)
2006-10-02 18:35:54 · answer #8 · answered by Western 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Decide once and act accordingily.
2006-10-02 18:34:17 · answer #9 · answered by guptaskgupta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋