I am a married woman and in love with someone else. I would never tell this person. I don't think this person would ever date me anyway. How do I make the feeling go away? My marriage not good. Help.
2006-10-02 18:25:23 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dont doubt yourself. BUT, if you're already married, but not happy, resolve that first. Being true to yourself as well as others will cause hurt & pain, but in the long run, you'll know you did the right thing by coming forward and getting out of an unhappy marriage.
As far as the feelings you have for that person, it probably is increased due to your unhappiness in the relationship that you are in now. But don't burn your candle on both ends...finish what you are in now, then start fresh.
Good luck.
2006-10-02 18:28:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try sitting down and making two lists:
- The first being all of the things that you like
and love about him.
- The second list should be of good memories
of things that you have done together, such
as romantic weekends, even a fun night at a
club or bar.
When I am frustrated or at times when I am not attracted to my husband, I think about times when he has dressed up and really looked good and picture those moments in my mind. I also think of all of the physical qualities that I do like about him. He has put on some weight since we've been married (but so have I). I think about when we first met and how attractive he was and how drawn I was to him.
I get the feeling that you love your husband and want to make this marriage work and both of you to be happy. Let even small compliments he gives you linger in your mind and think about how nice it is that he loves and is attracted to you.
You can try to reenact some of your special moments and get the feelings back that you had when things were still new. Spicing up your love life may also help things and make you enjoy sex more, not to mention feeling adventurous. I think your husband would love that, too, if you suprise him once in awhile. If you don't have any ideas, there are a lot of things out there such as books (many not smutty), massage oils, lover's kits, toys, bondage kits (lol)....depends on how wild and adventurous you want to get!
I think that reminding yourself of all of the great qualities your husband has (he certainly has them or you wouldn't have married him) and I think this will keep your mind off of the other man and maybe not make him seem as attractive as your husband, even if it be mental and emotional attraction.
I'm glad you asked this question; it makes me reflect on my own marriage and how I may try to improve it.
If you follow your heart, I'm sure you'll do the right thing. Thank you and good luck!!
2006-10-02 18:55:47 · answer #2 · answered by reblcwgrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put the thought, energy & feelings that you are spending toward this other guy towards your marriage & figure out what is missing that is causing you to seek it outside of your marriage. Most women start wondering from their marriage when their needs are not being met....when they feel emotionally neglected....when their husbands don't compliment them and make them feel attractive and loved like they use to do. Alot of times the husbands don't even realize how important it is to their wives. So talk to him, tell him what you need & give him a chance...it's only fair.
2006-10-02 18:43:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the major problem here is the fact that your marriage isn't good - if it were, you wouldn't have given the other guy a second thought. Start at the source of the problem and try your hardest to fix it, ( counseling?). Believe me, you're just grasping at straws 'cause you're unhappy.
2006-10-02 18:31:49 · answer #4 · answered by bougainvillaea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a divorce. Then you will be free to date anyone. Next time, be sure you are really in love before you get serious and especially, before you get married again.
2006-10-02 18:27:30 · answer #5 · answered by phoenixheat 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I had feelings for my wife's bothers girlfriend. She had the same feelings for me, but nothing was ever done about. Just forget it and move on with your husband. You'll thank your self for it later.
2006-10-02 18:37:09 · answer #6 · answered by lifescircle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont think of the other person... remember you are married.
you should look at the positive trait of your partner and rememebr the time when you were inlove with him. this will help you love him again
2006-10-02 18:33:12 · answer #7 · answered by crystalink 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its better u tell that man, However u should be sincere to ur husband.Best option is to take Divorce & marry that man
2006-10-02 18:35:24 · answer #8 · answered by dr khan 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Think about being with him and then getting caught. Imagine the drama.
2006-10-02 18:27:03 · answer #9 · answered by teef_au 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i think you better deal with your feelings first., your marriage is not good but are you sure that you can deal with another relationship? wat about the kids?
you might want to think first and consider some important things.
2006-10-02 18:32:23 · answer #10 · answered by star 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋