My husband said he is going to take me to the beach this weekend but that I have to breastfeed the baby on the way down there in the passengers seat. I told him that would be unsafe for the baby because if we got in an accident the baby could get hurt not being in a child seat. He told me it wasn't up for discussion and that I had to do it. I've been crying some tonight because of this. My husband is impatient and doesn't like to stop on trips so he makes me pack a lunch and some snacks for the road and makes me wear a diaper in case I have to go to the bathroom. I respect my husband's authority but I feel I need to protect my baby. Should I talk to my dad and ask him to talk with my husband? I think he might listen to a man but then again he might get mad if I talk to daddy about this. I don't know what to do.
2006-10-02 18:24:01 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That breastfeeding pump sounds like a great idea! I think I could get my husband or daddy to buy me one before our trip :) Thanks guys! Let me know if you all come up with anything else but so far this sounds the best.
2006-10-02 18:51:03 · update #1
Don't get upset. Just tell your husband that it isn't going to happen. Why are you so scared of him? You are in a marriage, a partnership, and these things need to be discussed. You are very right, you should not be breastfeeding your child in a moving vehicle.
I wouldn't get your dad involved.
2006-10-02 18:27:00 · answer #1 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Most places it is against to drive with a baby in the front seat of a car just for the reasons you stated.
Stand up to you husband, put your foot down and be firm in this. Your baby's safety comes first and if your husband doesn't believe that then he has a serious problem and I have serious concerns for your child when your husband is around.
I'm not sure if you are against the diaper wearing or not, but maybe a compromise would help. Tell him you will wear the diaper, and if possible maybe use is if the child stays in his car seat in the back of the car.
Good luck.
2006-10-04 00:23:23 · answer #2 · answered by wetsaway 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this for real? Run, don't walk to the nearest woman's shelter. I'm just kidding, I wouldn't ask you to leave the man you love. This boy needs help with his impatient nature, it is far from normal. The longer you wait, the worse it will get.
As for this weekend, let him know that there are some wacky drivers out there who just may run into you at the very time that the baby is not buckled into it's car seat. Ask how many near misses has he had in the last month. Meanwhile, you can bring pumped milk in a bottle. You have this week to get your baby used to drinking from a bottle. If you sit in the back seat next to the baby, you can tend to it's needs easier without unbuckling either of you.
A man I know, recently lost his wife and one of his children when she went to the back of the family van to feed the baby. She was just about to buckle up in the back seat when a truck drove them off the road, flipping & rolling the van.
2006-10-02 18:50:31 · answer #3 · answered by J Z 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do NOT do it! There is no excuse to ever have a baby in a car without it being in a car seat. It is not only illegal, it is dangerous. If a police officer were to see you, he would definitely pull you over and give your husband a ticket. Tell him that, and that should probably win the argument.
I'm sorry, but your husband sounds like a real jerk. Someone who forces you to wear a diaper in the car, someone who you are afraid of (and yes, that's how you sound)...well, that's called abuse. Even if he doesn't hit you, that is mental and emotional abuse. And, what he wants you to do with your child would be child endangerment, and is punishable by major jail time--which you may also get for agreeing.
2006-10-02 18:29:16 · answer #4 · answered by Esma 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your husband is beyond his authority. You are a human being with needs. He should respect your feelings, emotions, and bodily needs. If you have to pee, he should pull over. and there is NO WAY your baby should be breast fed in the car (while in motion). You're right. Your baby's safety is in question. Your husband needs to get off his high horse and respect the well-fare of his family, not his impatient behavior.
I do not know your husband well enough to advise on the best course of action. If it was me, I would say "No, I will not go to the beach on those terms; I'd rather stay home and be safe with my child. If you change your mind and will pull over for me to feed my baby, then I'll go."
Does he hate to drive or be in cars?
2006-10-02 18:31:41 · answer #5 · answered by lexkp23 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all your husband cant make you do anything you dont want to do.. And if you are breastfeeding the baby you should get a breast pump so when you go anywhere you can just use a bottle not your breast... And your husband cant make you wear a diaper come on now.... Maybe he needs to go to (anger management)... you should always protect your baby...
2006-10-02 19:08:23 · answer #6 · answered by shorty_2_us 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Use a breast pump. The milk will be warm and is good for 3 hours, the hospital says so. Use a breast pump and a bottle. Let the baby stay in the car seat.
2006-10-05 15:14:08 · answer #7 · answered by Colleen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you nuts what kind of a marrage have you got put your foot down and say no, you will not feed the baby he will have to stop or hear a crying baby all the way to the beach. Does he not care about his child safty?
Don't ask your dad to talk to him talk to him yourself. Your a married women why do you still go to your dad and ask him to talk to your husband.
What is this that he makes you wear a diaper does he wear one? don't wear one and when you need to go to the toliet he either stops or you just wee on the seat, that should teach him.
So when your kid is 10yr and you go on a trip he'll have to wear a diper too that is just silly.
Your husband need help.
and you need to get a back bone.
2006-10-02 18:34:28 · answer #8 · answered by lollypop_za 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
first of all it is very dangerous for you and the baby but not only that if the cops see you doing that not only will you go to jail but they will take your baby they will also charge your husband with child endangerment. do what ever you have to not to do that tell him whatever you need to and if you think he will talk to your dad then go that route. Also if all else falls you can try to get a breast pump and try to give the baby a bottle of breast milk just until you get to the beach.
2006-10-02 18:33:18 · answer #9 · answered by missy mae 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you for real lady. How can you respect someone who tells you to wear a diaper just because he is too inconsiderate to make a stop. And how dare he put your baby's life at risk. who does he think he is ? GOD? I don't think so. It sounds like you are his robot and only take commands. Does he tell you when to eat, drink, sleep also? This husband of yours sounds like he is a very self absorbed person to me. I mean, in any HEALTHY relationship, you don't tell your spouse that you are taking them to the beach. You ask your spouse if they would like to go. Giving them an equal opportunity to make the decision for themselves. But when someone tells you what they are going to do and that you have to participate whether you like it or not. well, that is just going too far. After all, you are his partner, not his slave or someone that he is supposed to control. You are a person too. Don't let him tell you what to do. I mean stand up for yourself. Grow some balls lady. You are absolutely right when it comes to the baby's safety. Don't ever bring the baby up fron with you. Why risk it. Doesn't your husband love and respect you enough to make a half an hour pitstop. Doesn't sound like it to me. If I were you, I would tell him that he either makes to neccessary stops or he goes by himself. PERIOD. I hope he isn't the type that gets physical with you. I mean hits you and stuff like that when ever you don't do what he wants you to do. Because if he hurts you, You need to get as far away from him as you can. Some day he may not stop and he will end up killing you. possibly your baby too. I have seen it happen. more than once. So don't take his crap. Stand up for yourself and let him know that he isn't going to push you around, and that you have just as much right as he does. If he doesn't like than tough titty
2006-10-02 19:18:53 · answer #10 · answered by flwrgrl692001 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋