Isn't this a bit over the top?

Question

Last night my boyfriend spent the night in my room. We didn't do anything, and I have proof. We were playing music, got tired and just fell asleep. My Dad saw him leaving my room this morning and started yelling at him and threw him against the wall. He says he's not allowed over anymore. Wasn't that too extreme of him to do that? What do I say to my Dad? He won't listen to my side of the story.

Answer 1

Not really over the top. You are only 17 and you'll hear this till you move out. "His house, his rules."

Answer 2

You didn't say how old you are, but when I was 17 I had a similar experience. I knew my parents weren't home, so my boyfriend and I brought the Christmas presents I had stashed at his house over to hide in my room. We were stuffing everything under my bed and didn't hear my parents until they came through the front door. Of course they saw his car out front and the only light on in the house was in my room. My dad flew up the stairs, through him up against the wall and read him the riot act!

Lucky for us, my dad has always been fair and reasonable when he's calm. I explained what we were doing later and showed him the stash of gifts under the bed. I told him how much I appreciate having a dad that loves me like he does and even thanked him for looking out for me. He eventually apologized to my boyfriend for jumping to the wrong conclusion.

Try to see where your dad is coming from when you talk to him. Let him know you understand why he reacted the way he did but that his concerns are unfounded. The last thing I ever wanted to do was disappoint my dad and if you feel the same way, tell him so! Dad's tend to be very protective of their little girls, but they have a big soft spot for us, too. I'm grown with kids of my own now, and my dad's still a big marshmallow with me! Good luck!

Answer 3

You're 17. You still live at your parents house. You're in high school. Your boyfriend shouldn't be over that late. Imagine what your dad thought when he saw your boyfriend come out of your room. It's not really a matter of what happened or what didn't happen... it's the fact that he slept in your room. It's not a big deal to you, but it is to a parent. He's just flippin out right now and he needs a little bit of time to cool off. He'll mellow out. Don't worry about it. Hang out with your boy somewhere else. Not a big deal.

Answer 4

Wow.. let your dad cool down for a while then try talking to him in a day or two about what happened and about what didnt happened.. Most dads would have done much worse so that wasnt over the extreme...Did your dad no your boyfriend was staying to night i guess not huh....
Good Luck;

Answer 5

Wow! I wish I had a dad like that! My grandparents raised me and when I was caught in a similar situation my grandfather chased him off with a loaded gun. I was 14. Your parents may not trust you for a while but this will pass. Moms are usually more understanding. Try talking with her and let her know the real story. Apologize anyways. Dad will come around. As for the boyfriend, you may just have to see him in school only for a bit. Try to get your parents to be friends with him again after some cool down time. We know you are innocent but your parents only know what they think they know.

Answer 6

considering it's your parent's home... no, it wasn't really over the top. Even though nothing happenned, from a parent's view point it's hard to believe.

Give your Dad some time to cool off...and then explain in a calm way, that you didn't do anything and that he should trust you a little more.

Isn't it though a little nice that someone is looking out for you? That you Dad cares enough to want to protect you? Just a thought.

Answer 7

It was extreme of him to do that, and he's lucky your boyfriend didn't
press charges against him for assault. Tell your Dad the truth. I
can understand why your Dad felt angry, but he crossed the line by
throwing your boyfriend against the wall. Since it's his house, it's his rules, and you have to abide by them as long as you're under his roof. When you and your boyfriend have enough money, maybe both of you can get your own place. Your boyfriend should have left sooner. If he was feeling tired, he should have gone home, before
he got too sleepy.

Answer 8

How old are you?
I don't blame your dad AT ALL, unless you're like 19 or something...

Dad I know you're upset and I can understand why because you are such a good dad all the way around but I want you to JUST listen to what I have to say....
and then explain it.

Its the sandwich technique. You say a good thing, the bad thing and then just make sure you end it with something good like you know he is just watching out for your own good.

Good luck sweetie :)

Answer 9

nothing may not of happened but ur dad is trying 2 look out 4 u , he doesnt want anything bad 2 happen 2 u whether now or sometime down the line .it sucks yes that ur dad went about it that way but he is just looking out 4 ur best interst& trying 2 keep u from geting into a bad situation

Answer 10

I would give your dad a couple of days to cool off then try and talk to him about it. If he says he can't come over anymore, try and compromise with him. Ask him if he can come over as long as your door stays open. But you also have to look at it from your dad's point as well. He knows that all guys are horny. He doesn't want to think of the idea of grandchildren being conceived under his roof.

Answer 11

He shouldnt have used violence, But my Dad Would FLIP and I'm almost 19 and my dad has been aware that I've been sexually active. You have to remember that all you're dad is thinking Is ahh you touched my baby! Its very upsetting to a parent. Now you said you didn't do anything, but see how the situation looks to your dad. I think your best bet is to tell him you're sorry and that you understand why hes upset, but assure him that nothing happened and that it was an accident and you didn't mean to fall asleep and It wont happen again