I have not cheated nor have I even thought about it , I have been married 18 yrs . This has recently happened to my mother her husband was caught texting another woman , and having long sexual conversations with this woman other than my mother hs wife. She coonsiders this has him having an affair , what do you think? and what do you think she should do?
2006-10-02 18:04:46 · 35 answers · asked by â?¥â?¥à®earlesinlaces? ??? *´¨`??.¸¸.??´¨`* 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
well its easy for everyone to say no, but if youre in the situaton its probably a lot harder. but i have to honestly say that i dont let people treat me poorly bc i never intentionally hurt anyone else. so if my husband cheated on me, theres no way i would go back to them.
2006-10-02 18:06:18 · answer #1 · answered by orangequeen9208 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have known my wife since she was 12. Dated for 5 years before we got married. I have been happily married for 27 years. I was text messaging a girl my daughters age (26) who was struggling with relationships. I was 'caught' by my wife text messaging this person. Looking back on it now it could have been interpret ted as an affair very, very easily by my wife. Out of respect for her and our marriage I have stopped ALL communication with this person. Even though I am not one to just write people off I have had to set a priority in my life which is my wife and family. It is noble to think that you can help someone else out by being a friend but... your have to be a friend to your best friend first and that should be your life partner, your girl friend, your wife. Was he having an affair? Yes he was... an affair of the heart. If it didn't happen, he was wanting it to happen. The attention he was receiving from someone other than his wife kindled emotions that he hasn't felt since he first met his wife. My advice... man to man... get rid of the cell phone. It will begin to restore the trust in your relationship with your wife. Don't think another can replace 18 years of life experiences. It's not going to happen. You have many, many more years to spend with your wife. The other woman is a distraction. Forget about her. Focus on your wife.
2006-10-02 18:20:09 · answer #2 · answered by BeArPaW_4709 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, cheating is defined by the spouse/significant other. If your mom considers the relationship that her husband was having "cheating," it was.
As to what she should to at this point - that depends on what he is doing in response to her feelings. Did he stop all contact with the other woman? Is the "affair" continuing?
This is a case of "emotional" cheating - no physical contact took place, but damage is done to the relationship nonetheless.
Counselling is the best advice I can offer. Your mother needs to deal with her feelings of betrayal. Her husband needs to come to terms with why he pursued this other relationship, and decide whether it's worth hurting his wife over. They both need to communicate in a safe, non-threatening environment to work out what they each want and need to continue their marriage.
2006-10-02 18:09:26 · answer #3 · answered by jbtascam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure if that constitutes as an affair but that's definitely cheating. It's just so not right, that's like when Prince Charles or whoever had like phone sex with that Camilla Parker Bowles woman while he was married to Princess Diana.
I'd walk away from such a relationship because I refuse to be disrespected like that.
2006-10-02 18:06:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on whether the other person is avoidant about the fact of cheating and whether they are willing to change. In this case the husband is being shady with the cell phone text messages. He needs a good ol' talk, that's for sure!
Maybe they got out of shape and he no longer feels lust for her? Maybe they slowly lost interest in each other and he is feeling an itch for something 'desirable'? Nothing is going to change though unless both parties are willing to work at it (if they need to get together more often or work out or respect each other more, you get the idea)
2006-10-02 18:25:19 · answer #5 · answered by deusdenton 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if cheating is going on i see no reason then why u should stick to the person...because the very basic reason why a person is married to soemone is that the person whom each other is married has got feelings and love for...if cheating is involved then the partner goes after lust is merely concerned about what the wife thinks or feels...he is too busy getting his lust fulfilled...i consider loving a husband even he is cripple and can not do anything but if he still talks to me nicely treats me right then am there for pain and sorrow..am there to be with him....but if he cheats i see end of marriage..wat use is that marriage then after all he is getting what he is suppose to get from other women who is not his wife....so think about staying wid the person twice is all i can say.................
2006-10-02 18:10:30 · answer #6 · answered by Vinny C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a very tricky one. I also would consider it unfaithful- He has emotionally cheated on her. But it's not physically unfaithful yet. That's the tricky part. I believe that committing adultery gives a person moral grounds for divorce, but adultery is defined as the physical act of sexual contact, not sexual conversations. I'd have to say I'd try to work it out. If he keeps it up and his little talks continued or progressed into anything physical..... Where do I sign?
2006-10-02 18:13:57 · answer #7 · answered by Lesley C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since they were long, sexually intimate conversations, I would consider that cheating. Having friends who are the opposite sex is not, but making any sort of action outside of the realm of friendship is cheating. If he has actually taken more action than texting, I would leave him in a New York second! But, if it is just texting...well, I would consider couples counseling if it hasn't been going on very long. If it's been going on for awhile, I would leave.
2006-10-02 18:08:54 · answer #8 · answered by Esma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the context of the texting was sexual in nature, and he was acting out on it (which it sounds like he was), then he is for all intents "cheating". Maybe its not on a physical level, but he has already given himself to this other woman. It's up to your mom how she wants to handle it... can she live with the idea that he may take it to the next level if he hasn't already?
2006-10-02 18:10:26 · answer #9 · answered by dighost2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally wouldn't stay with someone who has cheated. I value and respect my relationship and I expect the man I'm involved with to do the same.
Having said that, my partner and I chat to other people on the internet. We both know about it and have no problem with it. However, if he was to chat to people via text and I didn't know about it, then I would have a problem and consider that cheating.
2006-10-02 18:09:39 · answer #10 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be thinking about having an affair or is already having one. She definately needs to save the evidence for future court proceedings if that's what she decides to do. But as to your original question, no I wouldnt leave my husband if he's cheated, i've not been perfect and he's always forgiven me. I've never cheated but i've definately been hard to live with. I could forgive him but shhhhhhh don't tell him that. lol
2006-10-02 18:10:54 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋