I have been married 18 years. I have a 23 month old baby to care for and I get two hours of sleep per night. (I go to sleep when my husband gets up for work and sleep until the baby wakes). This has gotten worse over the past few weeks...I just do not know what to do. We do not have a spare bedroom..there is no room for a bed in the babys room, and our sofa is the kind with two recliners on each end so it is not comfortable to lay across. I am so grumpy because of lack of sleep. Its not fair to my baby, or to me...I know it is not healthy for me or my husband. The doctor gave him a CPAP but refuses to wear it. The doctor said his sleep apnea is very bad...and that was 3 years ago. It has gotten much worse lately. I have tried to talk to him..but it did not do any good. I am at my wits end. Please someone help!
2006-10-02 18:02:16 · 22 answers · asked by rcpaden 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have mentioned the breathing strips and throat spray...but he refuses to try them. The doctor wants to do surgery...I can understand his apprehension.
2006-10-02 18:08:14 · update #1
Seriously...what is the deal. Why are they like that? If the tables were turned you know your life would be hell until you did something...and in the same breath if the tables were turned you'd GLADLY do something because we're CONSIDERATE like that. That is a word that our husband obviously aren't familiar with! ARGGHHH!
I bought my hubby nose strips and he wore them 1 NIGHT and then refused to anymore because it made his nose feel weird.
I wake him up and tell him to turn over and he's pissy at me!
This is absurd!
Let me know if you find the solution and Good Luck! :)
2006-10-02 18:05:32 · answer #1 · answered by Ponderpink 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Well, obviously he isn't as concerned with your health as you are his. I guess he doesn't care about your sleep deprivation, but maybe he would if you suddenly became too tired to cook, clean, do his laundry, have sex, etc. If you have someone who will let you come visit overnight, you might do that so you can get some quality zzz's. Even splurging for a hotel once a week so you can catch up might help you some. Remind him (although you probably have already) that a relationship is give and take, and kids need their dad around, which he won't be if you go insane from lack of sleep and suffocate him with a pillow in an effort to muffle those snores. Actually, he can't be sleeping well either, without that CPAP, which means he is sleep deprived also...
2006-10-02 18:47:07 · answer #2 · answered by Deedee 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Snoring is not grounds for a divorce. I would suggest that you bye an air mattress, 1/2 bed size, and put it in the baby's room. Maybe you can get some sleep that way. If your husband refuses to wear the CPAP, then you can tell him one day you will awaken to find him dead. You will have had a good night's rest in the baby's room. I hope this helps.
2006-10-02 18:12:06 · answer #3 · answered by organic gardener 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Instead of taking a drastic measure such as divorce, why don't you try having him use snoring aids. Things like throat sprays and nose strips have been shown to work very well. If you're still having problems after he tries this, I guess you just have to evaluate the entire situation of your marriage - You getting enough sleep vs. staying with the father of your child and, I would assume, the love of your life.
2006-10-02 18:05:15 · answer #4 · answered by Holly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I didn't like my CPAP machine at first either. It took about two weeks along with a temporary prescription prescribed by my sleep doctor.
After two weeks, I loved it! If I go out of town, even an hour away, I take it along just incase I end up spending the night. I refuse to sleep without it now.
People who snore, according to medical sources, are FOUR times more likely to have a heart attack and/or stroke! Do you really like those odds?
Tell him to at least do it for the child. After all, the CPAP is a proven LIFE SAVER!
2006-10-02 18:25:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
My fiance has a few health issues and he refuses to do what is necessary (no matter how small) to cure or at least relieve the symptoms and it just pisses me off! But I don't find it a reason to divorce him maybe you should explain further what your intentions are to do with him! I hate to say it but sometimes a good threat helps some men! Try to be non-confrontational about the talk that may work if not get angry and see what happens!! It's hard to give advice about stubborn men because as stubborn as mine is, I can still "persuade" (manipulate) him into doing what I want, most of the time!!!
2006-10-02 18:19:05 · answer #6 · answered by EriksSweetheart 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In most states the only grounds for divorce is "irreconsiable differences," which pretty much means anything.
However...
This has to be the most selfish question I have ever heard here. You would rather deprive your child of a father at home than deprive yourself of some sleep? How awful.
I sleep with a CPAP machine every night. There are lots of different masks, and even some that just fit in the nostrils. Perhaps he has never found one that was comfortable. I would recommend you take the baby and go to a hotel one night. Leave a note saying that you just can't sleep with his snoring anymore, and that if he does not start using the CPAP he is in great risk of dying in his sleep, leaving the baby without a father. Hopefully this will help him to become aware of just how important it is for him and his family to make the adjustments he needs in his life.
2006-10-02 18:10:53 · answer #7 · answered by Serving Jesus 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋
If he won't do anything about his snoring, have him sleep on the couch and u take the bedroom or get him one of those inflatable air mattress and have him sleep in the living rm. Divorce is a little too drastic for something like that.
2006-10-02 18:13:35 · answer #8 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Legally it falls under irreconciable differences or else the Judge just might throw this out of his courtroom as theres no legal law concerning this. You can keep on doing hwta youre doing and maybe youll be able to outwait him but doubt if he will ever change. Id say you could play his game but the world doesnt need two more stinky people in it. Just kidding there. Good luck
2016-03-18 03:58:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
serving jesus is right,dumping ur mate cause he snores is stupid, and wrong.i to sleep with a cpap because of apnea,my wife never complained about the snoring for 25yrs and believe me it was the worst, my neighbors complained about it.ive used cpap for the past 2yrs,now my wife is concerned about me not snoring, after all this time, because left untreated, apnea will kill u in ur sleep,my cousin died from it he was 42yrs old, and he, like ur husband, didnt want the cpap, he had the surgery, and it didnt work, hardly everly does.i feel sorry for u because, ur gonna wake up with a dead mate, if u dont think u could stand the thought of that, tell him to get help or divorce for his apnea, but not for the reason he snores.
2006-10-02 18:27:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a snoring husband, & my wife has RLS. (Restless leg syndrome) It was, either get separate bedrooms, or get a divorce. We have separate bedrooms, & we each get a good nights sleep, & are a lot less grumpy for it.
2006-10-02 18:10:43 · answer #11 · answered by No More 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋