I am 25 and my husband is 35. I am getting to old for kids, and he is just about there to. I never wanted kids before, but in the past year I have been getting all moony over seeing mom's and daughters together. I am afraid I will miss out on something and regret it. But my husband and I never agree when it comes to raising his kids. If I have a child of my own I know it will be an issue on how we raise it together. Do I not do it for the sake of the kid and our marriage; should I do it and take a chance? What the hell do I do!?!
2006-10-02 17:45:13 · 20 answers · asked by cbr♥fox 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It's tough if you don't think you and your husband will see eye to eye on raising the kids together.. but 25 is NOT too old to start a family... you have plenty of time... I am 39 with a 3 year old.... I appreciate her more than I would have been able to when I was younger.... don't worry about time.... just work on the issues with the husband, and when the time is right, you will know it....
2006-10-02 17:48:55 · answer #1 · answered by Cheryl 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When deciding whether or not you want kids you should consider why you want the children. If you are just afraid that you will be missing out on something then your decision is very selfish. However if you want a child just because you love children and the growth process in general. You should start with a puppy. If you can keep the puppy and give it love and attention even after it pees on your rug and chews up your favorite shoes. Then after a few years if you and your husband don't argue too much over the dog then consider a child. You still have quite a few years to have children. Women are having them later and later all of the time. Good Luck to you, becoming a mother is a huge decision.
2006-10-03 00:54:07 · answer #2 · answered by ashleynicole 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First I was 29 when I had my son so you aren't to old. Second I have three kids and my oldest daughter is 14 and to this day her father and I still disagree about things when it comes to raising them however compromise is the best way. Having kids is a miracle and there is nothing like the bond between parent and child and to have someone love you unconditionally but it is also a lot of heartbreak and work raising one. I remember when I swore I would never have kids I was going to travel the world now I can't imagine life without them. You need to sit down with your husband and tell him how you are feeling. You didn't say he didn't want a child so chances are he is feeling the same as you on this.
2006-10-03 00:56:16 · answer #3 · answered by Martha S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
these are the things that need to be discussed before marriage and the decision needs to be enforced. if you have a child now then he may leave but your child will be there always. if he doesn't leave then you can raise the child together. discuss the topic again. make it clear you think you want a child and hear where he stands with that idea. you can volunteer at a daycare or babysit a few kids and see if you're up for the idea of having a kid. what you're feeling is probably "baby fever" so to be make sure it's what you want you need to rethink and discuss this with your husband you are in this together. a child is a blessing. hope you make the decision that suits both of you the best
2006-10-03 00:54:20 · answer #4 · answered by sexylousleo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't mean to judge, but if you have that many worries about having a kid, I think you need to question the marriage. A child should not drive the you two apart. If anything it should bring joy to your life, not worries. I am 25 too, and I am on my 3rd kid, all I can say is if I didn't have my kids who knows where, or what I would have done with myself. Whatever you decide to do, make sure your happy. Good luck!
2006-10-03 00:53:13 · answer #5 · answered by Bridget H 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am thirty-five. My 47 year-old step-mom had my little brother two years ago. You have plenty of time. 2 basic ways to look at it - 1) If you have one, you can't put it back, and you still have plenty of time to ponder this. There is simply NO turning back. and 2) If, for some reason you wait too long, you will probably be in excellent health and financial position because you were focused on yourself. This is good, because even if you cannot bear children, you may be able to buy one. Well, they call it adopting, these days, I suppose. Lots of people have 'em for sale, though, mainly people like the ones who are telling you to go ahead and have kids.
2006-10-03 01:01:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should do some serious soul searching. If you really want to dedicate your life to a child then go ahead and do it. It is a 24-7 job that you have to be serious about. You have to be giving of your time. If your not ready for this type of commitment don't do it. I have 5 children and enjoy my family but I don't have time for my self. This is the choice I made. Take care
2006-10-03 00:53:18 · answer #7 · answered by Red 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can totally relate to you ...but for me i need a fertility specialist...bottom line there is no right time to have a child....
yes i pass by babies and shoot a look at my husband.....hes like whenever you are ready. if you are really are having doubts about this, then its not the time...kids are alot of work...you need to be financially, emotionally, and physically there for them. its not a piece of cake...it means sacrifice...it changes you...about child raising no two parents actually agree all the time so arguing is normal but with that you still need to come to a compromise which is hard sometimes. Age difference?...it shouldnt matter ...im 26 and hub is 47. we just had our 5 year mark...
1) if you feel strongly about it..you need to make sure you have a secure environment...emotionally, financially and physically
2)take your vitamins like folic acid etc...
3) go to the doctor and screen for diseases both of you
Take care on whatever you decide and remember this is not a one person decision its both of you deciding on what you decide... good luck
2006-10-03 01:04:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT HAVE A CHILD UNLESS YOU BOTH AGREE. CHILDREN NEED BOTH PARENTS. THIS IS NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT! IT SHOULD BE ABOUT WHAT'S BEST FOR THE CHILD!
You are not too old either. I was 32 when I had my last (and 29 with my first). I have friends who are starting at 35 (with slightly older husbands).
Trust me, children are a lot of work under good circumstances. Wait until you are both ready. You do not sound ready.
2006-10-03 00:49:51 · answer #9 · answered by K8 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Kids are the most important things in the world. We all know you will miss babies. The hard part. When ur having a baby and you cant stand the pain. Second the stressfulness during age 3-5 The possitive part is when u actually get to hug or kiss the baby of your own. It is very fun growing a baby.
Look when you where little your father will take care of you buy you your little ice cream. Now By ur father and mother having a baby now it is your time to pass it on.
I REALLY REALLY hope that you have a baby.
2006-10-03 00:51:53 · answer #10 · answered by Alex 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋