advice on convincing father to to take into consideration that it takes more than money to help raise a child?

Question

i'm pregnant and i'm 21 my now ex boyfriend is 22 and we learned his mothers disapproval on different occassions him first me last which lead him to lie to his mother by telling her i told him i was on birth control and to not use a condom as a result to my pregnacy. Which him and i both no thats not the truth and now she feels a as though i trapped her son. he had also mentioned to her that he didn't want a baby when at the time of us finding out i was pregnant he supported me went out and found job and told me we were going to do this together and work it out. i'm afraid his mother discouraged him and i'm getting a big feeling i'm gonna be raising our first child on my own. This makes me very hurt sad and some sort of resentment towards him for mot being a man and making his own decisions and also towards his mother for not encouraging him to be a man when she knows what hardships comes with being a single mother because she was one during the raising of my ex and his younger bro

Answer 1

File for child support.

Answer 2

That's a tough one. It seems that his mother would encourage him to step up and be a man since she raised him without one. But alas, it is a difficult task for a woman to properly raise a man. More often than not, the son becomes a sort of substitute man that she can mold and influence in ways that she could not with a man in a relationship. The best thing for you to do is to file for the child support to which you are entitled, and simply encourage him to be a part of the child's life. Resist the urge to berate your ex, and consider that everything you do from now on will probably effect your child.

Answer 3

There isn't much you can do, seems like he's a mama's boy and those types are HARD to come around. Just hope that he comes to his senses...as long as his mother is around to influence him you can't do anything to change his feelings about your situation. File for child support and do the best you can on your own.

I know it's hard, I am a single mother as well and have been through a similar situation as well. Think about you and your baby now...deal with him and his mama later.

Good Luck.

Answer 4

Oh do I feel for you. Seriously....First of all you don't need the stress...You didn't say how far long you are...If early, just relax, you've got time to plan on what your going to do...And plan it, I'll explain in a second....Two things will happen when your child is born....Either the mother will flip when she sees that baby and the BS will stop, or it will get worse...Right now the mother is in "mother in law" mode, (even if your not married), oh her poor son, what have YOU done...Oh right, like you got pregnant all by yourself....You may have a true Bioch on your hands, and let me tell you, better if you find out early, then go through 27yrs of a Bioch for a mother in law like I have....You need to not get wishy washy and toughen up!!(no insult intended)...you are wanting her approval of sorts, and if she is how you say she is, you are wasting your time...So...You toughen up and as sad and lonely in your feelings that your feeling right now, you have to take care of yourself and your unborn child...Let him know your happy whether he participates or not, but that you are NOT going to raise the child by yourself...Make sure there is nothing the mother can use as ammo to have her son sue for custody after the baby is born, which happens by psycho mothers who won't let their sons grow up.....You get child support....It takes two to make a baby in most cases, and hopefully when he sees that face, he will change his mind also..But telling mommy like a little boy....He should have thought of that when he was having a good time, now reality sinks in ....Oh Well......too bad!!!.....Best of luck with your new baby to come, you'll know what to do when you see that face!

Answer 5

You are in for a rough time, but it's not too late to reconcile with your child's father. If he's a man, he'll step up to his responsibility regardless of what his mother thinks or says. Tell him you'd like to get married before your child is born and his mother can approve or not its his decision. Something quick and simple. After hearing his answer, if he refuses to get a marriage license, tell him you will file for child support and other legal benefits to which he'll have to pay if he doesn't step up to his half of the birth. You should have thought of this before you had unprotected sex with him. Tell your parents, especially your mother about your pregnancy. Your father is not going to be pleased, but he'll get over it when his grandchild is born. Because of the safety nets in place today, you should fair better than his single mother or my single mother.

Answer 6

Sound to me he is an momma boy plus he still immature and doesnt know what he want in life and that is what the sitiution i am in plus i am single mom raising my daughter girl u can do it u dont need an man and aslo filed childsupport on his *** too