2006-10-02 14:45:31 · 8 answers · asked by lovely_lightskin 2 in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment
My heart goes out to you. There are so many children (though you don't say how old you are) who's parents have never grown up themselves. Your mom probably has a problem with her self esteem and an alcohol problem and so she looks for love and acceptance from outside,(by men) and seeks numbness from her pain(with booze).It's like a sickness. What ever attention she gets is never enough to fill the hole she feels. It is definately a sad thing, but you have to know it's not because you're not deserving of love. Your mom is just incapable of showing it to you. She may never be able to show you any love. She may never have felt love herself growing up. There must be others in your life, in your family, aunts, grandparents, who's love is important to you. Maybe a special teacher or guidance counselor. It's important to surround yourself with people who raise you up and make you feel safe.Maybe some of your girlfriends moms could be a sort of stand in. It would be easy though to begin the search for love the way your mom has. Self love is the first and most important love. If you don't love yourself, you'll spend the rest of your life looking and looking for someone else to provide it for you. And really, no one else can do that. Never blame yourself or see yourself as unworthy or unlovable. That's a common emotion of children who live in a home devoid of true love and caring.There are also lots of books you can read that can help you with the effects of a parent or parents who are too busy or too sick themselves to give to their children what they need to grow up emotionally healthy. Understanding the emotions you are dealing with helps to avoid falling into the same sick cycle that your mom lives in. It's easy to feel hurt and angry when the one person who's supposed to put you first, fails you. But falling prey to self-pity and anger won't help you in the long run. I know many, many, many teens, and adults alike who are like wounded spirits, because they've spent a lifetime wondering why they weren't good enough to be loved. Forgive your mom and understand it's not your fault....
2006-10-02 16:13:22 · answer #1 · answered by sashia_cali 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
as long as she is on the booze, there isnt much you can do. It can screw up a persons thought process and their reality in a bad way. You might try going to Al-anon or Al-ateen. both groups are for family and freinds of drunks, and it can help you deal with life because the alcoholic cant.
Hang in there. Dont follow in her footsteps
2006-10-02 21:55:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She definitely loves you and Im sorry to hear about your home troubles. But sometimes parents go through their own selfish "stages" in life. It sucks. Stay positive first of all, instead of taking it out in rage and im serious talk to a school counselor or a mature friend who is not just gonna say "skrew her you dont need her, etc." talking helps. In a calm manner mention it to your mom how you feel but keep your emotions in. But if it ever gets abusive or irresponsible get a hold of authorities who can help not just you but they could also help your mom. Good Luck.
2006-10-02 21:51:41 · answer #3 · answered by gohorns_ut 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's unfortunate you feel that way, but I'm sure you have good reason to. Some mothers just aren't so great at mothering....and their kids get the short end of the deal. Just expect what you know you will get with her, and work on yourself. You'll have a great second chance to have a wonderful mother/daughter relationship, and that will be with your own children....I'm sure you won't make the same mistakes. Good Luck.
2006-10-02 21:54:46 · answer #4 · answered by qamberq 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love yourself & accept that your mom is sick & there's nothing you can do to change that. Unless your mom realizes she's ill & is willing to get her priorties in order, then you may have to learn to deal with that grief. You didn't state your age, if you're underage talk to your school counselor, clergyman, or a trusted adult who may be able to help you. If you're an adult, do like I did, choose not to subject yourself to that kind of grief. I don't go to my mom's, I do allow her to visit my home, but I set limits on topics that can be discussed with my children. She won't change & I can't change her, but I choose not to subject myself to the grief she causes me.
2006-10-02 21:55:01 · answer #5 · answered by 2D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't compare. A person can love different things and different people. Figuring out where the love is strongest is a foolish game and is only speculating uselessly. In some situations, she loves you the most. That should be enough for you.
2006-10-02 21:49:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Dont worry about it. You'll be on your own soon enough.
2006-10-02 21:50:08 · answer #7 · answered by lucyanddesi 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell her that you feel that way.
2006-10-02 21:48:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋