My husband expects me to make the first move!?

Question

My husband and I have a very healthy sex life, however I love to have sex with him on a momentarly basis. He thinks that I should make the first move. For example if he knows I want him he wont come after me, he'll expect for me to come after him. Is this normal? Should I feel like I need to make the first move always and will I look like a NINFO if I do"?

Answer 1

I was in a relationship like this and it bugged the hell out of me. Tell him that it would be nice once in a while if he made the first move so you didn't feel needy having to chase someone who you are married to.

Answer 2

1) We men like to feel desired too. If you make the first move he will be happy because that shows him that you turn him on and he will feel irresitable.
2) Lots of us have fantasies of taming a nymphomaniac. There is no such thing, by the way. It's just an outdated term from a time when women were more opressed. If he wants you to come on to him and you do it that doesn't make you look like a nympho. If you make the first move he will feel sexy and feel like you are sexier.

3) If he KNOWS you want him and won't come after you it might be because he thinks that you want or need to be aggressive.

4) Men who are secure with themselves often like aggressive women.

5)If you initiate more perhaps he will reciprocate. If you find you are initiating all the time and see no signs of reciprocation TALK WITH YOUR HUBBY instead of asking a bunch of people on yahoo what to do. To be honest, I have have already read some good answers to your question.

6) I have a similar situation. I wish my wife would be more agressive. We have a little black velvet bag with dozens of little pieces of paper in it. Most of the papers have a brief description of a role playing scenario or a sexual activity. There are a few blank pieces of paper. She draws a paper from the bag and whatever is on the paper we play or do. In some cases I must be the initiator/sexually agressive and in some cases it is she. If she draws a blank paper then we just do what she wants, which might be only lying down talking and touching. The point is we enjoy the chance element and since I made up this game I have it slanted so she either is more likely to be in a situation in which she is the initiator or if I am the initiator she still has some responsability. This, and other things, has worked wonders for us.

Maybe you two should watch Stanley Kubrick's Eyes Wide Shut together and afterwards do Nicole Kidman's last word in the film.

Best wishes!

Answer 3

Men want sex all the time; ask your husband and he'll almost never turn you down. In 99.9 percent of cases where women lament that their husbands don't have sex with them any more is that they've been told "no" too many times. As a result, they discontinue trying.

Answer 4

Girl, I know what you talking about; I want through the same thing. I guess man what to be wanted just like woman, so make the first move and just know that you not a ninfo but about to be in control of session that is about to happened. I have done so and I enjoy taking control once again, I can control how I want it and what is going to be done at the present moment. Have fun with it!! If not being so bold, bring some toys to heighten your experience(then he will be hunting you down to have sex.) smile

Answer 5

Personally I think if you are interested in making love, or just some wild sex you should initiate that. We all play to many games when it comes to sex. I know my wife and I have laid in bed, both of us aching for each other and neither of us making the move because we don't see the desire in our partner at the time.

If you want it make the move, if not then don't. If he wants it he will certainly make a move.

Answer 6

In my opinion nothing is worse for us chaps than rejection and that is why he waits for you to make the first move, only on very odd circumstances would a guy turn down a night of fun. If a guy makes the first move there are plenty of excuses used by women but it all boils down to rejection.

Answer 7

Just do it. I don't understand what being a nymphomaniac has to do with you making the first move and it's pretty obvious he's turned on by aggression. You don't always need to make the first move, but it needs to be done by someone. What's the problem?

Answer 8

Everyone wants to feel wanted. Check that -- everyone *needs* to feel wanted in a relationship.
He's playing a headgame with you - he knows what you want, and he gets the thrill of you chasing him. He doesn't have to work at anything - he can be lazy and enjoy being pursued.

Tell him to grow up, knock it off and act like an adult.
Tell him that he needs to show you his interest and desire in you for a change.

Otherwise, it's time for couples therapy. Put a ring in his nose, tie a rope to it and drag him to a therapist.

Answer 9

Make the First move girl. GET YOURS!! why are you worried if you look like a Nympo, you're married? Shoot I ♥ looking like a nympo to my husband atleast we're having sex. Make the Moves he's not a mind reader, If your in the mood go for it

Answer 10

You are married. You are supposed to desire each other. It is normal. You won't look bad. He doesn't seem to understand your feelings. You might try writing him a letter. Share with him how you feel. He loves it when you show your desire for him. Talk with him. See if I am not correct about that point.
Share with him that you want him to take or possess you with passion or whatever it is that you desire. The idea is to share with him and let him share with you. Communication leads to GREAT sex. Love also leads to GREAT sex. Enjoy each other. Take the time to learn from each other. Enjoy learning; that too is fun.