Why doesn't my husband like to talk to me anymore?

Question

All my freinds and family think I am funny and interesting. My husband used to. We have been together 3 years now. About a year ago he just lost interest in talking to me. Now, when I say something that I know is halarious, all I get is a "hmph." He loves talking to his guy freinds, though, and can spend hours talking to them. But one reason we fell in love was because we share so many interests and he loves how goofy and tomboyish I am and how I am not afraid to say whatever is on my mind. Lately, I have really tried to get across to him that I miss being his best freind... to no avail. What should I do?

Answer 1

Communication, trust, and respect. Those are the three things needed for any relationship.

Seems your missing one and possible two or more?

I say take it slow, sit back and don't do or say anything drastic. By the way, any kids? either way, YOUR needs are not being met, the reason you first fell in love may work itself out to the sidelines, but a new deeper reason your together works it's way in and that's not happening for you.

It's time he return to the den so to speak and for you to have some good healthy communication to gain trust and in respect of you and the relationship he will need to lay it out and accept how you feel. Oh and from a guys side, let him be a few days after we sometimes take a few days to process's what our wives say and what it really means so he may not say all you need there and then and might try a quick "fix it" type approach, but he will follow through in actions within days if it's real.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

You do need to talk to him (pick the right time; don't try a heavy conversation when he comes home from work all tired). Ask him what has changed in your marriage. Ask him why you annoy him these days. Tell him you want to work on your marriage and wish he would put some energy into saving the marriage, too. If he won't go with you, get to a counselor by yourself. Communication is THE most important thing in a good marriage.

Answer 4

Try saying to him, "can we talk for a minute"? This question leaves the ball in his court and it's a "yes" or "no" question. If you do talk then ask him: Is there anything bothering you? I've noticed we don't communicate as much as we use to, is it something I've done? Try to have a heart to heart conversation with him and let him know how much you miss "hanging" out with him and that you miss the quality time together. His response should give you your answer. If he still seems distant, then ask him if he would mind going to marriage counseling, this would be good for both you and him!

Answer 5

I don't know why men get like this! But we all go through it at sometime. There is "something" on his mind and it may not be another women. It could be just missing being free , running with the guys an such. He may be weighed down with stress or something. What can you do , but give him time hun It gets ya down but usually all of this fades in time. Just don't give up trying to hold his attention. Or try new things that will add a newness to your relationship.

Answer 6

I'm sorry to hear that. That quality, tho very fleeting, in my g/f of a few months ago is the only really decent memory I have of that relationship....when we could talk like that.

So, I don't know what his problem could be. Is it too much talk maybe? Some men just don't like to talk that much. I have been in relationships where the woman talked a LOT, and it was emotionally exhausting just listening to them, let alone contributing!

So, is it possible that he feels some kind of expectation talking to you. That it's not 'ok' to just be quiet, even tho he feels perfectly fine, but just prefers to be quiet and not talk? That you are expecting him to 'say something'.......to respond? Does that make any sense?

Sometimes we men are perfectly fine and good and don't really have anything to say.

I don't know why, but you strike me as the type of person that is really laid back and EASY to hang with and talk to. That you aren't constantly yakking.

How is your relationship otherwise? Do you feel 'connected'? Is he feeling sad? Depressed?

I don't want to automatically start thinking the worst, but why don't you let him have some space for a few days, and let him come to you, and see what happens, and update us all on what's going on?

I wish I had more ideas, but I don't feel I have enough to go on yet.

.....don't worry tho, I'm sure everything is ok.

Answer 7

What you didnt mention was any of the guys he is hanging with are they single. If there is then you might want to sit down and have a heart to heart with him about what is really going on. Men are very complex at times and when they start to act like that they tend to be listening to someone and that other person is filling his head with crap or he is unhappy whatever the case may be communication, communication, communication is the key.

Answer 8

You've done some major league work already. You've chosen to respond rather than ignore. You're seeking help. Good start.
Now you need to take it to the next level. Get professional help. Communication is fundamental to a good relationship. Your marriage is new enough that you can still learn the skills necessary to keep communication open.
PS - Rule of thumb, if he won't go - go alone.
God's speed.

Answer 9

You should really be asking him what changed for him. Communication is the key to any good relationship. If you cannot ask him these things, then why are you with him anyway. Maybe he just has other things on his mind right now and doesn't want to be bothered with jokes and playing around. Talk to him and find out what is going on.

Answer 10

Yea.you should start doing things away from him..so much so that he is begging for your attention back..even if you have to make him jealous of you spending so much time making someone else laugh at the things you say and do. If he is still like that then i think theres something else wrong with him...