My mother is more concerned on her pets than her children and grandchildren. What should I do?

Question

She doesn't care if her pets leave their wastes everywhere. My children are getting sick. Is this some kind of psychological disorder? What to do with it?

We were invited (by her) to live with her because she is alone in the house. But if you came for the argument that she must ditch her pets away, she will be mad and never talk to you for a week. Sometimes she will spank and curse her grandchildren for any reason, or her pets may have been hurt.

No, make_sense, as I've said, "her children", including me! Although I lived through it since I was young, I never liked her behavior. There is a time when I was mad at one of her pets (that ate my hotdog sandwich, a cat did that), and I went to ditch it somewhere else. My mother threw some curses and never talked to me for a day.

Jon W:

Maybe you're right. I should be the one psychiatrically evaluated. Because, I love my mother the same way as I love my children. With me, it's ok. I can bear it. I can bear her attitude between men and animals. But it's just me. How about my wife and my children? The children do love their grandma.

You know there's something in the Latin Americas, Spanish, Italian and Filipino culture that you can't take away from them. It's the strong family ties. I think those ties should not be broken just because my mom is more concerned on her pets than her children and grandchildren.

What I am trying to find out, is if her behavior is a psychiatrical case or not, or may be there's something I could do to "change" my mom's judgement between two species of mammals. If there's none, then, fine. If someone has the same predicament as me and knows how to "deprogram" my mom's behavior, then tell me how did you do it. If there is none, then, I'll leave Yahoo Answers to choose the best answer.

Answer 1

I hope you will help your mother realize that what she is doing is putting herself, you and your children, also the pets in danger of getting sick. She needs to clean up after her pets. If they are not housebroken then please help housebreak them. An easy way to keep the yard clean is to keep a plastic bag and a little garden shovel type tool (a small hand tool) in the yard and pooper scoop two or three times a day. I have five dogs and my yard stays clean at all times because this is how I keep it clean. Take the plastic bag and place it in the outside garbage can to be picked up with the trash. This is how the county where I live recommends disposal of pet waste. If there is waste in the house, clean it and use one of the products available at the store to remove the smell so the pets don't continue to use that spot. Your mother might want to know that if she continues this she is in danger of having her pets taken away from her and most likely they will be put to sleep since there are not enough adoptive home for animals.

Answer 2

What you should do is move out.

She has (finally) earned the right to live as she chooses.

If you don't like it, don't go there.

If you think it's not safe for your children, you shouldn't have them there.
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Re: Additional information. Well, that certainly has cleared things up.
However - let me paraphrase some to make sure I understand exactly.

Let's see. Mom doesn't want to get rid of the pets.
OK. Understand that.
| She's always been that way with pets.
| She did that when you were a child and you were unhappy about it.
| She was still that way before you choose to move in with her.
| She is that way after you moved in with her.
So - what's the surprise here? And why complain now?

"Her children". You were not an only child then?
The fact that she was like that when you were a kid has nothing
to do with the present except that you should not be surprised at
the current situation you have placed you and your children in.
After all - you LIVED it!!!
I am now, however, extremely curious as to what your siblings think...

An animal ate your hot dog and
"you went to ditch it somewhere else".
Where did you usually ditch them?
What did "ditching them" involve?

And your Mom used bad words and was mad at you a WHOLE day?
WOW! Golly Gee! How incredibly cruel!
"No more wire hangers Mommy!" "No more wire hangers!"

You moved back because she's alone.
Wrong there. She has her pets.

She spanks your children for abusing the pets.
| I wonder where your children could have picked up that from?
| Or for no reason. Yep. Um-hm.
| OK. For now, I'll weigh that statement in with the rest of the information.

You are way crazier than I first thought!
Your children should be placed somewhere else.
You should be psychiatrically evaluated.

Answer 3

Does your Mother live with you? If so, put your foot down and explain to her that your children's health is being compromised because of her pets. Tell her it's very unhealthy and you'll have to demand either the pets go, or she'll have to. I realize this is tough, but sometimes tough love is the only kind love. If your Mother does not live with you, the options are varied. Depending upon her age, she could have a psychological disorder, which needs medical help.

Answer 4

Maybe your mom justs wants some peace and quiet. She probably deserves it. Maybe you and the kids should find a place of your own. There comes a time in most peoples lives when they just can't deal with all the hassle anymore. Her pets apparently don't bother her at all, but they should go potty outside, always.

Answer 5

I'm more worried that something is wrong with YOU! How dare you leave your children in those type of circumstances!!! Any child should NOT be allowed to visit her home, while she is behaving like this! You need to become a "responsible" adult here, as they are YOUR children!!!

Answer 6

Hmm. Do you live with your mother? Are you saying her pets do not go outside to relieve themselves?

Answer 7

bark like a dog

Answer 8

It's time to consider a home, i think.